my body, there seems to be a black hole that cannot be filled.
After a period of time, it will run out uncontrollably, devour everything, deny everything.
At this time, it seems that I don't even know myself, and
the whole world seems to be negative, dark, helpless, strange, and indifferent. .
Once, whenever this black hole appeared, I wanted to try to escape it,
but its power was too great, I couldn't get rid of it, I could only let it tear.
All the time, I want to find a guardian angel of the oracle.
I want him to hold my hand and
accompany me like that when I am extremely vulnerable and hesitant, and quietly pass through the black hole like a storm. Baptism,
but I don't know where this angel is or what kind of coat he's wearing.
I still don't have the piercing eyes of disguise, so
I can still only be aimlessly restless and helplessly resist in the boundless black hole.
Most of the time, I seek solace in movies and music.
Those old black and white movies, either because of the simple sweetness or because of the real cruelty,
made my heart too heavy, in these details, gradually emerged,
and when I saw the sun again, the whole world became beautiful and beautiful again. vivid.
It's just that the crisis is still lurking, but I don't know when it will strike again.
Can it be said that a normal person is a lunatic who has not collapsed, and a lunatic is a normal person who has collapsed.
Bergman has a movie called "Through A Glass Darkly", the name comes from the New Testament 1 Corinthians.
There is a sentence in one of Paul's letters, and the whole sentence goes like this:
For now we see through a glass, but then face to face: now I know in part, but then
shall I know even as also I am known.
Is it "through a mirror in the dark"? But the boundless darkness makes me feel calm,
like rain, like a windy night outside the window, within a square inch, I slept peacefully.
Maybe I just haven't collapsed in this mortal world.
But why am I crashing? Those incomparably beautiful things in life still support and pull me.
So, I am a child who needs love, I need infinite love,
gain, disbelieve, test again and again, lose, so I don't believe again...
In an infinite cycle, time flies, and years gradually grow old .
Maybe I was entangled in a question that didn't have an answer.
What exactly is love? The Bible says that love is patient and kind; love is not jealous...
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, love never fails.
In the movie, when Minus discovers the reality that anything can happen, he asks his father: What should I do?
Father said, you have to grab something. minus said, what is that?
Father's prescription is: love. Any love, all kinds of love, great love, humble love, all love.
Follow the son to ask: What about God? The father replied that God is love, and perhaps it should be said that God exists in love.
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