The saxophone and the singing sound together, like a lonely shepherd mourning the celestial burial on the grassland.
Then flashes of memory, in the hospital after the first sex, they rush to the ward, Brian gets his own son, and Justin decides his name is Gus. That run was so short, but it's been a whole year, the white scarf is covered with blood, it's Justin's coming-of-age ceremony, it really looks like a joke, the run of that run Immediately pushed back in front of him, the world was stagnant, Brian remembered the Justin who appeared on Liberty Avenue with dazzling pupils, and Justin who pretended to be 21 when he was only 17, he realized that a year had passed. Now, he desperately said "Fuck you, We' re not couple", but in fact, everyone knew that he deeply loved the kid who was 12 years younger than him until the kid collapsed after his prom. In a pool of blood...
We also saw Michael who finally chose to stay. When Brian was sitting alone in the long hospital corridor, Michael gave up his love and returned to him. Michael walked to the cabin door, waiting for him was David from another city, that step out was his completely different second half of his life, God knows if he will go back to another "Big Q" and live his own home there. married life. But at that point, the phone rang, we knew who was calling, and we knew Michael would never leave Pittsburgh, just as Brian lost his chance to New York dramatically.
It ends Season 1, and its beauty is that it gives us so many hints that are as dangerous and seductive as metaphors.
I feel something complicated and elusive, that love and marriage are two completely different things, just as sex and love are two completely different things. Maybe it's right, I know that when Season 5 ended, Brian and Justin still didn't enter the palace of marriage, its reason is "a man is always defeated by his ambition", I'm rewatching Season 1 now, and it seems vaguely that the director Already instilling this notion into the audience.
Marriage is an unreliable thing, even two people together is unreliable. People are independent individuals, no one can control a person's thoughts, so this portends the funny and absurdity of two people together, it seems that marriage is the result of compromise, you give up you, fulfill the other person, and then for You are thrown into another person's world for the rest of your life, and you never realize that you are no longer you. When you say "I do", you lose everything about yourself.
And the beauty between Brian and Justin is that they never say "Yes", and they feel that there is a powerful driving force guiding them in one direction, just like the real tragedy, the more painful the more struggling and resistance. . I felt the danger of what H said about love, which stands on the edge of a cliff every now and then and falls into the abyss accidentally. It's like that between them, those body friction, eye collision, suspicion, jealousy (I just found out that jealous's appearance rate in the play is so high), duplicity, etc. are all evidences.
It was this second rewatch that made me realize why many people think that Brian always loved Michael, which of course is something I can't agree with. It's an irresistible strength against loneliness, or the need to prove one's own existence, and they've known each other since they were 14 (and many would say they were "childhood friends" for this reason), when Brian's father commented that he and Michael were like a pair When a little girl, it wasn't his father who hugged Brian, but Michael, which is also a lasting metaphor. The huge hole in Brian's heart needs to be filled by someone, and that person is Michael. He exists by his existence and is safe. So we see that when Michael meets David and starts his new life and completely separates from Brian, that man's handsome and mighty beast also panics and disturbs, he can't even communicate with what is in front of him as usual" The prey" fooled around, and it was not until Michael returned again that his life finally returned to "normal". This made me realize that Michael is not his love, but his trump card, the last thing he can't lose, just like he who keeps saying that he only worships sex can't lose dick, he is a part of his body and has He can function normally without him. I guess that Michael may be a continuation of his father's love for him. The man who gave him comfort and warmth after his wandering life allowed him to regroup and continue his "life" tomorrow.
The same scene, the long hallway of the hospital, Justin's life and death after the blow, Brian's rare worried and frightened look in the long first season is enough to make us see those who clamored for being single, young, and sex-worshiped. Things, Brian was full of warmth for a while, that was the worry about "tomorrow", and subtly, he also fell into the mundane world. "And cute, but also disappointing because of the beastly lost.
To this day, certain headaches still cause headaches and will last a lifetime. Things with the word "accidental" have absolutely no axioms to follow, which is a bottomless pit that cannot be grasped. Brian showed us his choice, and the choice was full of beauty.
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