Confessions of an alcoholic

I'm an alcoholic, but I wasn't born an alcoholic. I also went to college, and although I didn't graduate, you know, in the 1930s, young people who went to college were considered high-level intellectuals. I am very confident in my writing talent, because my articles are frequent visitors in the school magazine. Since I have such a good talent, I should come out and make a fortune. In that era, a Chinese female writer surnamed Zhang once said As a saying goes, it's early to be famous, so I didn't wait for college to graduate, and I came to New York alone to start my writing career. I submitted articles to the most well-known magazines, hoping to become famous, and in fact, I was mentally prepared to accept all kinds of honors. But obviously, the editors in New York didn't have the vision of Bole. They didn't realize that I was a thousand miles horse. I bet that, in fact, when they were playing horse racing, they must often lose. So my writing career in New York died because of it. Personally, I feel like I'm a bit more of a fighter, I'm a high self-esteem person. I began to realize that they were jealous of me and turned a blind eye to my talent. I needed a confidant. At this time, I met it. Yes, it is wine. When drinking it, it is like the most caring person. , will slowly flow into my heart with the blood, I seem to be like a prisoner wearing shackles suddenly turned into an angel, that's right, an angel who writes hymns to God, I seem to still see God's eyes of approval on me. But when I woke up the next morning, I put on the shackles again, and my whole body became heavy, and those talents were also scattered in the wind like a puff of smoke. I hate this incomprehensible, unresonant state, I'm an angel, so why can't I stay in an angelic state? So I drank again, and so, I turned into an angel again.
My dear, I have to tell you that three years ago, I met you at the theater and you were destined to be my true confidant. You still remember that when you left, the wine bottle that fell from my coat and shattered on the ground was the right one. Your jealousy, there was a conflict between me and it at that time, do you still remember the reception I went to with you? I only drink tomato juice, but at that time, I was sure that the shackles on my body were also lifted, and you also gave me an angelic feeling. In the time I spent with you afterwards, I seemed to forget it behind Cloud Nine. It's a pity that it doesn't want to see me leave it. When you asked me to see your parents, I was already there. I saw your parents. Although they didn't see me, they said everything to me. hear. I don't want you to be embarrassed, my dear, how much I love you, and I don't want to see you embarrassed in front of your parents, so I chose to leave. And I lied to you that I couldn't make it. When you came to my house, I hid in the room and didn't want to see you. When I saw my brother suffer the name of a drunk for me, I couldn't help it anymore. Now, I confessed everything to you. After you know the truth, not only did you not scold me, but you did not leave me, and you are more willing to face it with me. At that moment, I felt that I was ashamed of you, and I couldn't face it. Your selfless love for me began to escape for three years, fled into its arms, it was very smart, knowing that I would return to its arms, it accepted me hypocritically. But from then on, it was no longer my confidant. I was anesthetized by it, and I was soberly condemned at the same time. Until the weekend you left, you went on vacation. I was like a wild horse without a soul. Under its temptation, I was endlessly indulging in the illusion it created. Under its power, my resistance and struggles were of no avail, and I kept succumbing to its lewd power. When I was awake, facing the contemptuous eyes of the people around me, and seeing the heartache in your eyes when you saw me, my heart seemed to be slowing down. I know that to get rid of it, I have to die with it. I looked at the two-bottles worth of hexapods in the drawer, I snatched your coat, went to the pawnshop to redeem my pawned gun, hoped I'd be done, but the moment you hugged me, I was shaking all over , My body is very awake and feels the moment when I first saw you three years ago, I know that my courage melted in your endless love, dear, how can I leave you? That's when the doorbell rang, you went to open the door, it turned out that Nate brought back my lost typewriter, you took it, I realized that my hand was calling me to pour out the love in my mind for you through it Come out, darling, I'm going to repay your love, I'm going to pour out the weekend I lost and the love I got back

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