Recently, I have often been "hesitating to speak," for fear of misfortune coming out of my mouth. Accidents convicted for words are ignorant when reading, but not the same when going to work. For example, we must beware of letting some people resonate while others are slandering them. This kind of mentality of being on the deep end makes me tired, so I don't speak at all. For this reason, I have established a taciturn image in a certain field. It wouldn't be a surprise if someone asserted that I was a dumbass. (I'm not necessarily a dumb guy by nature) It's just that this kind of cowardice is not only referred to at work, but also in front of Jiajia, which makes me a little panicked. For example, Jiajia asked me: Where is the classic "Love in Cholera"? What I thought was completely different from what I said, I said: Aresa's extreme love is really heinous! I am indeed shocked by such a paranoid, and if there is no "CJP" in the world, I don't believe anyone would fall in love that much. He has sex with a lot of people, just because he can't be with Fermina until he grows old, and every young girl has Fermina's name all over the carcass, for example, this is No. 627 Fermina. This is what I told Jiajia, what I didn't say was about Aresa's mother. During this period of time, I have been listening to a piece of Matouqin’s lead over and over again: “eternal horizon”. From IRENA. Like all pure music, I can never grasp the meaning that the author wants the listener to grasp. The frustration of Pisces' understanding has been solidified into the depths of my heart, so that after repeated misinterpretation, I will always use the one-size-fits-all excuse: Pisces! If I use Festinger's cognitive theory, I can be very happy: it is not that I can't understand the speaker's intention, but that I can always think of aspects that others can't think of, not that it is impossible to think. What イラナ wants to express is the loneliness and emptiness of the grassland, an intuitive feeling of pure nature? (I don’t know the answer either. I always ignore the kind of consciousness that the author deliberately hides in the text.) The musical text is open enough that I am not interested in contemplating the core consciousness. If the author has the intention of closing the text, then I Definitely going to be hysterically angry. (If I can still be called a gangster) I cut my head bald in honor of my excitement for this piece of music. "Eternal All of horizon's impact on my real life comes down to this action: getting a bald cut, and having to cut it. All human beings came into the world with bald heads, suggesting that the bald head is not a status symbol of a prisoner or a monk, but a symbol of an idea. A symbol of reflection and introspection, and an exploration of the origins of human nature: is this the world we want? Do you want to start over? Or, it is a return to the mother, a kind of escape after a lack of security. The bald head is not provocative, but fragile to the extreme, and it has to draw a clear line from this world. The philosophical implication of hair is thus revealed: it is not only the vigor of blue silk, but also the sadness of a young boy with a white head or a bald head, and the sadness of white hair and depression, and the pain of love and love. The metaphor of the bald head is a sniff at this dirty world. Of course, compared to these complicated philosophical extensions, my meaning is always superficial, which is why ARRON is able to analyze me. I just simply thought: Can I go back to my mother's womb and start a new life? If I can do better, I will definitely do better, instead of letting the old lady walk around the world without support. All her sufferings, her regrets that she cannot be cherished, will find solace in me. Instead of being in a mess like it is now. "Eternal horizon" is a song by my mother, which is what I heard. The reason others are unaware is because they have never experienced the pain I experienced with my mother. Can't blame them. To understand a certain type of music, there is always a framework of understanding built on a specific form of knowledge. "eternal horizon" is about a grieving mother who has lost her husband (or she has never received so much love from him that he is a phantasm, a trumped-up one), and the focus of her life is on her son, other than that Beyond that is loneliness. This kind of loneliness is a loneliness that is far away, with no end in sight, just like when you see an endless prairie, there are only high-flying eagles on the prairie, making high-pitched chirps from time to time. Only in the memory of the past can people feel a little tenderness in the world. If it is pessimistic enough, there may be no tenderness at all, only the bitterness of the cold winter wind. If I say to Jia Jia: "eternal horizon" is a song about my mother, will she think I'm hypocritical? You know, men who refer to their mothers are somewhat sissy. In the cognitive framework constructed by the vast majority of people, sissy is by no means what a man should be like. Men are brave and fierce, and they must be said to be bloody, violent, and slaughtered, right? (For example, I'm genuinely excited about the fact that I'm actually calling in the "Failed to Dawn" series and all of Quentin Tarantino's films, which makes me feel less sissy) In-depth understanding and a thorough understanding of the male standard of patriarchy and patriarchy gave birth to the spirit of contempt and criticism of this structure, so I may not be disgusted with my words, but I still did not say it. Jiajia must know that I am a person who has been initially domesticated by society. If I am domesticated, I have to look domesticated. I must show the attitude of being domesticated, otherwise it will be nondescript. as I learned from eternal Horizon" is like a lonely mother, "Love in Cholera", what really remains in my heart, and I don't plan to forget, will always be Aresa's mother. (Forgive my difficulty in sticking to the lighthearted tone of the first paragraph) Aresa fell in love with Formina at first sight, and then wrote her love letters. If they were ordinary parents, they would definitely not pay attention to the pursuit of their son's madness (I discussed Foucault with Jiajia yesterday, but I forgot to mention his book "Madness and Civilization", so I will leave it here) , or: let him go! Aresa's mother said softly in a forbidding voice: Love is a fleeting brilliance, who is that girl? Life may be so passionate once, and maybe it will never happen again after one time. Son, the old lady supports you! (Why does it have the meaning of Miao Cuihua? But Ashi's mother definitely did not have the same fate as Miao Cuihua) What was the fate of Ashi's mother (referred to as "Amu"): her husband was a romantic, in any case The time and place are only when he encounters a woman who is enough to make his lust burn, and he can immediately go into battle with a gun, never caring about his lonely wife and children at home. But judging from her education of her son, although Grandma can't fully possess Grandpa's body, she seems to have all the love that Grandfather gave. And the place of the body is always under love, which has become the only ray of happiness she gets from her family. (To be more responsible, this kind of happiness is just a self-delusional delusion, right?) So she potentially instilled her father's style into Aresa, and love madly! Nothing can stop you, and even if you fail, you will be lifted up because you have loved. Then she went crazy. The reason for the madness is unknown. Perhaps because her son's paranoia and madness infected her, she fell into a fantasy of the past. And once caught in the past, it is a lingering pain: the husband is not good, at least not good enough. The only son is obsessed with the unknown married woman, and has spent his life rehearsing her husband's selfish indifference. She can't see her son's future, because there is only one 50 years in life. Fortunately, she ended her life in mental anomie, so it won't be so sad, right? Grandma is kind and great. The lens language of the film expresses her kindness, but her complicated heart. She took care of everything for her son, and when she was still conscious, she protected him, sympathized with him, became her son's backer, and planned for her son's future. She is always on the line, nothing else. There is no one to protect her, she is just a lonely woman, and occasionally the woman next door will stop by. Her first thought was also a possible happy marriage for her son. It's a pity that her son has let her down, and the son's heart will be forever Left on Formina, ignoring everything her mother considered. Completely ignored. Even death is a death of neglect. After a tragic life, I finally raised my son to be an adult. I thought it was the end of my hope, but I never hoped for the end. After you went crazy, you wore bright clothes. You were once a beautiful woman, right? Did you spend your beauty in a half-baked love? Why do you still miss that unfinished love? Are you not reconciled? But you really can't do anything, right? Many people think you are Aretha's mother, they forget that you are still a woman who suffers and loves beauty? Your existence in "Love in Cholera" is just a worthless companion, right? Now I want to tell you: Mother, I know you are sad, and that you are all strong in front of your son, and you just endure it silently until you crush yourself, until you completely collapse. You died so silently, so terribly. I am ignorant, my attention is attached to a woman who is inexplicably occupying my heart, and I exclude you from my sight. I am guilty, mother! But what is there to make up for? I am not by your side when your wandering blurry eyes are looking for a place in the distant space. When you stand alone in the middle of the grassland, facing the threat of stinging beside you, I am still not by your side. If you start over, will you give me a chance to do better? Will you encourage me without hesitation when I am in love? If my unrealistic love persists for 50 years, what will you do? That year, I broke down in love, and I cried bitterly on the phone. Mother said: You have to be brave, there is nothing to be afraid of! The mother called back later: are you feeling better, silly boy, that's how love is! Because the consequences are so elusive, they are precious and worth experiencing. In the process of experience, you can grow up slowly. I told my mother that day that I committed suicide once, but I didn't succeed. The mother immediately burst into tears: You are dead, what should I do? what should I do? My only son, mom can't help you with your death, how can mom be a good mom? I hugged my mother, and for the first time felt the irreplaceable connection between mother and son. I am not a desirable son. I always do things that are deviant, and I always have no such luck. How many deviations have happened in life, only you are responsible for me. I have grafted all the pain on you, and still act indifferently, leaving you alone, chewing over and over the grief that I have given you. Mother, if I told you that "Love in Cholera" awakened me, would you still have the courage to believe it? Would you like to believe it, or your consistent conservativeness? Woolen cloth? I'm in too many states, and you're scared, right? You stopped chasing love for me. For me, you alone sing long-lost love in the middle of the night. Would you be much happier than you are now if you weren't so righteous? Is it true that righteousness and happiness are a pair of paradoxes, and this pair of paradoxes was forced into your life by me? In the face of fate, I am so cowardly and powerless that you are disappointed, just like Aresa's mother did to him, right? But I don't want to do this at all, this is definitely not my original meaning, I am not Aresa, and I will not become Aresa. If there is a possibility of reversal, I will do anything to reverse it, please believe me. Be sure to trust me. It will be your birthday in a few days, I think I will have the courage to say loudly to you: I love you.
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