The negative form of symbiotic union is submission, or in medical terms, masochism. The masochist frees himself from that unbearable sense of loneliness and isolation by making himself part of his guide, guide, and protector. The abuser is his life, his oxygen. The power of the object of worship becomes inflated, and he may be a man or a god. He is all that he is and is nothing but a part of him. As part of him, I am also part of greatness, part of strength, part of certainty. The abused person does not have to make any decisions or take any risks; he is never alone, but never independent. He is not a complete person, so to speak, not yet fully born. In a religious context, the object of worship is called an idol, and in the worship relationship between a masochist and a sadist, the basic mechanism is the same. This masochistic relationship can also be mixed with physical as well as sexual desires; in this case, not only mental submission, but also physical submission. There is also succumbing to fate, sickness, indulging in rhythmic music, or succumbing to a state of ecstasy induced by drug addiction and hypnosis - in all these cases the battered loses his integrity and makes himself a certain Man's tool of something; he does not need to solve the problem of existence through autonomous labor.
The active form of symbiotic union is domination—the medical term for masochism is sadism. The sadist just wants to get rid of loneliness and isolation by making another person a part of himself. He inflates and elevates himself by annexing his admirers.
The abuser depends on the submissive just as the submissive depends on the abuser; neither can live without the other. The difference is only that the abuser orders, uses, hurts, and humiliates the other person, and the other person is ordered, used, hurt, and humiliated by him. From a realist point of view, the above distinction seems like a big one; but from a deeper emotional point of view, their commonalities are far more important than their differences: a union without integrity. If one understands this, then one will not be surprised that the same person or two different objects react in both sadistic and masochistic ways. Hitler's treatment of the people was usually the way of the abuser, but the response of the abused to the "higher forces" of fate, history, and nature. His ending—suicide in general destruction—is as distinctive as his dream of success (full domination of the world).
In contrast to a symbiotic union, mature love is a union that preserves its own integrity and individuality. Love is a positive force in man. This power can break down the barriers between people and bring people together. Love can overcome loneliness and alienation, but at the same time it can allow people to maintain their individuality and maintain their integrity. This paradoxical form emerges in love: two beings become one, while still retaining the dignity and individuality of the individual.
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