It's a shitty movie, but don't bet it's the worst - because there could be a sequel

Dorothy 2022-03-22 09:02:34

The people I want to see this movie are either StarCraft players or Heinlein fans. The only pity is that this movie version is surprisingly poor whether compared to the game or the novel. The second one from a few years ago was so bad that it couldn't be released in theaters, and it had to be released directly on DVD. But if you think that's the worst, obviously this sequel will surprise you even more.
Compared to other blockbusters that cost hundreds of millions, the $20 million cost of this movie is indeed not a huge expense. But I still wonder where all that money is being spent. The actors in the film are very poor, and everyone except the protagonist can be described as amateur. Although this is a slightly ironic movie, it doesn't mean that all the characters in it have to act exaggeratedly like a clown. As for the "magnificent" war scenes, it is no different from the CG of StarCraft III. The bugs have brightly colored stripes (for courtship?), and they look like the mechas dragged from Matrix or Robocop or Battle Field II are still good-looking after being bitten by countless bugs. The so-called Sanctuary's (what a lousy name) fleet base looks like a reader-created sci-fi picture in a certain issue of Sci-Fi World.
Compared with the poor performances and pictures, what is even scarier is the vulgarity of the plot. The exaggerated conscription advertisements that pop up from time to time are like shaking a rattle at a 15-year-old boy, trying to make him laugh like 10 years ago. Heinlein's story, although not profound, is at least not a soap opera about soldiers killing insects. As a science fiction, the original story describes a human society where the military is supreme, encountering the Zerg in the process of alien colonization, and thus triggering a series of wars. This is also why the military uniforms in the movie are so similar to the German uniforms of the year. It is only the first movie version of the war that human beings' foreign colonial wars have been changed into self-defense and counterattacks. In the third part, the plot that can be seen is still in a small stronghold, where the silly soldiers use submachine guns to fight bugs. We don't know what the overall campaign looks like, we don't know the structure of bugs, we don't see the development of human weapons. The creativity of the artists is so lacking that they almost directly scale up the scorpions on the earth and stuff them into the movie screen, so that it is meaningless to discuss the feasibility from a scientific point of view.
Overall, this is a B-level film, both in terms of plot content and distribution channels, but it's a pity that his $20 million production fee is. David Fincher and Peter Jackson made a B-movie into a mainstream movie, and the director of this film (too lazy to find out who) managed to turn a sci-fi masterpiece into a B-movie. God knows what else besides the splattered blood plasma, the human head stuck in the worm's leg, and a clear dew point shot.
Last but not least, as much as I love the Starship Paratroopers backstory, I'm begging this movie not to have a sequel. One is not to continue blaspheming Robert A. Heinlein; two, I bet on a whim that for 10 bucks this will be the worst sci-fi I've ever seen.

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Extended Reading

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder quotes

  • Lola Beck: We're fucked.

    Jingo Ryan: Yeah. That's exactly what I've been saying.

    Holly Little: You shouldn't talk like that. That's blasphemy.

    Lola Beck: You're a goddamn flight attendant, so stow it.

  • [Slug removes his underwear revealing his privates]

    Sunday: Hm. I guess that's why his mama called him Slug.