I originally thought about whether it would be unlucky to watch this kind of movie before I got my provincial exam results, but I really didn't make it. Of course, this kind of superstition is really meaningless.
Having said that, even if you have passed the 18-year-old college entrance examination, it seems that the feeling of thousands of troops crossing a single-plank bridge has always been haunted.
It is said that there will be 10 million+ fresh graduates in 2022, and 4.57 million people will be admitted to postgraduate entrance examinations. Looking at this number, I feel a sense of suffocation.
In the end, how many children will be admitted to graduate school?
When most of us cannot achieve "success" in the worldly sense, how to deal with ourselves seems to be a necessary educational content, but it has been missing for a long time.
That's what the film is talking about, starting with a kid who committed suicide by jumping off a building.
The story is very simple, because the son, who was under too much pressure to go to school, jumped off the building and committed suicide because he did not get into the university. In the process of self-blame and self-reflection, the father shared with his son in the hospital bed his story of winning the school league championship from a loser in college.
In the story of the loser, Dad gained friendship and love. Although he did not succeed in the end, he did not regret it.
The film is saying: A happy ending isn't always perfect.
Similar to India, our education from childhood to adulthood is also based on the theory of success.
Water flows to lower place, man goes to higher position.
Children with poor grades should learn from children with good grades, and don't make excuses for their own failures.
Play big exams, play small exams, don't play without exams.
These are big words that I have heard since I was a child, but when I really think about them, these words seem to be right and wrong, but we have always regarded these words as a standard.
It seems that life is meaningless except fighting, learning, and beating others. In order to defeat the life of struggle, apart from internal friction, I become more and more tired and gain nothing.
Then you start to wonder: Why did I follow my parents’ request every step of the way, toward success in the mundane sense, but I wasn’t happy at all.
This is the failure of homeschooling.
As myself, I don't know what I want, I don't know what my life should be like, but I've had so many years.
Thinking of my 18-year-old, I once broke down and cried several times because I was afraid of failing in the college entrance examination. That kind of collapse was sudden, sometimes it was just after lunch, sometimes it was late at night when I was writing questions, or even a night or two before the college entrance examination. Couldn't sleep at all (gets a scolding from my mom).
So when I saw my son in the movie was anxious because of the college entrance examination, I was very empathetic.
Whether it was him in the movie or me before the college entrance examination, we never thought about what would happen if we lost. Everyone is saying how good the success is, then the failure must be very, very bad, otherwise why is no one talking about it?
Like a name that can't be mentioned in Harry Potter.
The fear of the unknown seems to be a mess, growing bigger and bigger, eroding our future.
The good thing is that fear and stress will make us learn like a stray dog. The bad thing is that the source of this motivation is not from the heart, so the internal friction is serious. No matter what the final result is, it will have a bad influence on the future. .
Fortunately, I was admitted to a book, but I have used many years of psychotherapy to gradually understand the harm that education based on fear and anxiety has brought me, and to correct the cognitive misunderstanding caused by the theory of success; unfortunately, as in the movie son, give up the will to live.
The parents in the movie are crying, repenting, and reflecting on the family's lack of failed education.
But as introverted Chinese families, many parents are more puzzled about the failures faced by their children.
I can now clearly know that my mother said to me at the time: What is so scary about the college entrance examination? You can't sleep!
It's because their college entrance examination is very different from ours.
But I, who couldn't sleep because of anxiety, could only cry with tears and complain that I couldn't bear the pressure of the college entrance examination. Everyone else can, but I can't.
What to do in the face of failure, this topic should run through the entire family education, but it is missing in many family education.
Of course, this is not a very surprising thing. Several years ago, Fang Siqi blatantly wrote in the Paradise of First Love, "Our family seems to have all kinds of education, but there is no xing education."
It shows that many things that should be taught but not taught always exist blatantly.
The answer given to us in the movie is: take a long view and grow to the whole life. If this thing doesn't seem important 3 years from now, it doesn't need to feel like the sky is falling now.
Oh yes, the first step before that is for parents to be willing to fail education and start to reflect on whether there is a problem with their successful education.
Of course, there are many parents who may feel that there is no problem with themselves, and there is no problem with their children.
Before life and death, nothing is a big deal.
When Internet celebrities, live broadcasts, and idols start to make a lot of money, when the threshold for becoming famous is getting lower and lower, when the world of the two generations is becoming more and more different, the requirements for education naturally also increase. up a step.
To put it simply, when failure seems to disappear from our sight and all public accounts are silent, but in fact this group is getting bigger and bigger, we should start to be vigilant.
When failure comes, how should we face it? How to deal with yourself?
It is a compulsory course in education and a compulsory course in life.
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