Regarding life in old age, I have never imagined it, and I have never experienced it with the mentality of an elderly person, and I don’t even know how different the days of old age will be. In this film, I truly experience the plain truth and loneliness of old age.
In "Pain and Glory", a director in his twilight years was tortured by illness. During the lowest period of his life and career, the illness consumed his creative inspiration, and he could only cope with life in the pain. The lonely and painful old age life, the warm and carefree childhood memories, everything is intertwined, like the interlacing of dreams and reality.
The movie is like a gentle look back on life, looking back on all life encounters again, reconciling with regrets and mistakes in the journey of life, with the hero of the movie, with the first love, with the mother, and childhood.
The director shows his most personal life to the audience, and sincerely shows his growth, experience, regret, pain, and loneliness.
about mother
Bright sunshine, cool river water, mother singing while washing clothes, and El Salvador playing by the river when he was a child. This is a warm scene in El Salvador's childhood, a memory that cannot be forgotten and relived. The mother gave a lot of care and guidance, sewed up the socks with holes, and the love for her son was linked in every stitch and thread, so that El Salvador could read and go to the seminary.
Decades later, four years after her mother's death, El Salvador still hasn't recovered from her mother's death. His mother's expectations of him were not a film director, and Salvador had always known that he had also resisted seminary as a child.
When the mother moved in, the mother explained the funeral in the room, not to tie her feet. Take out the black veil and teach your son how to put it on his head. Including my mother's wish, I finally want to go back to the old village and leave quietly, the leaves return to their roots, and I don't want to be in a cold hospital at the last moment.
Regarding creation, my mother said that she and her neighbors are not allowed to be written, and the neighbors do not like to write them into the story. A mother's expectation is a heavy burden, a shackle on her heart. Salvador finally confided to his mother: "I'm so sorry for letting you down just by being myself."
She didn't fulfill her mother's expectations, she didn't let her fall leaves return to her roots, but she lived in the ICU for the rest of her life. All of these are unsolvable knots, even though he has become a successful director, he is still entangled by these regrets.
A mother’s influence is critical to everyone’s experience and growth. The four-year absence of my mother did not unravel my heart, I could not create, and I could not let go.
About sexual enlightenment
Childhood memories are made even more special by a mason.
His mother asked the mason to paint the house, and little Salvador taught him to read and write, reciting the alphabet over and over again and writing, which made little Salvador's life fun. A bath after a completion gave little Salvador an unintentional glimpse. Little Salvador fainted and unconsciously awakened his sexual consciousness, which affected Salvador's life. The mason brought him a unique childhood.
Fifty years later, Salvador was surprised by a painting on the invitation to the exhibition. The little boy in the red sweater in the painting was himself. The author is a mason student, reading a book under the patio he painted before taking a shower.
A painting that originally belonged to me, after 50 years of circulation, finally came to my side. It's like the beautiful glimpse under the patio in childhood. In the past time, that memory and experience have never left, and will eventually return to itself.
This is the time of childhood, never left. That painting is the most beautiful time of childhood.
About lover
The love when he was young lasted for three years. El Salvador wrote this story when he was old and called it "Addiction". El Salvador still couldn't let go of this love. Taking care of him while creating, but his lover left him after he got rid of drugs. This is also the pain in his heart. It was only when I was old that I had the courage to write this sad story.
When they met again, they looked at each other and smiled, and everything became easier. The two talked about their future experiences, family and career. The two old people met for the first time after they were separated, it was like a reunion of old friends, without any resentment or regret. Time dilutes everything, and talking about the past is like telling someone else's story.
From Salvador's eyes, it can be seen that he still has love. After hearing that Federico got divorced, there was a flash of joy in his eyes. Knowing that he still has a partner, he couldn't hide his loss. He only asked if it was a man or a woman. . Federico said he wanted to stay with you, Salvador said I wanted to, but God had arranged for us to end.
Federico asked him to go to Argentina and introduce his family to him. Salvador nodded in agreement. This reminds me of the CMBYN novel where Oliver, an adult, invites Elio to his house. He refused, he couldn't face Oliver's family. Salvador should not go, let him face Federico's family.
Salvador Speaking of today, no one or anything has filled my life like you.
Federic said every movie of yours is a part of my life.
Comfort each other in this way without having to feel any guilt about past regrets. It is God who has already arranged it to end.
Reconciliation with old love is also reconciliation with that relationship, and finally it is no longer a sad story.
Salvador finally knows the end of the story. After Federick left, he threw the drugs down the toilet. That unforgettable feeling came to an end.
about pain
Old age is accompanied by various physical pains, such as spine, tinnitus, headache... The director used animation to describe the pain he has encountered in the past few years, which has always troubled him.
Spine surgery left a long scar, and only a moment of tranquility can be gained by sinking into the water while swimming. Lonely and boring old life, back stiffness after surgery, to go to the cabinet to get things and put pillows under the knees, can not bend over when wearing shoes, can only rely on things that support shoes.
Living alone in the elderly, relying on babysitters and assistants to live, under all the torture, there is no creative inspiration, unable to work, and unable to make movies. Depressed mood, pain medication has long been ineffective. Like the former lover, he ended up numbing himself with drugs.
The physical torture made El Salvador miserable. I spend my days reading it every day. Uncle Ban's eyes are delivered so well, even I feel the same way about the life of the elderly. The helplessness, loss, and calmness make the audience follow the show.
After Federic left, Salvador took out the drug and eventually threw it down the toilet, took it again, and called an assistant to make an appointment with a doctor. Start reconciling with your body. When I looked up in the hospital, I saw the same beautiful scenery as that on the patio when I was a child.
About partners
Thirty years ago, the movie "Taste" became popular, and the actor became famous for it. Salvador is dissatisfied with the heroine's use of drugs during filming, which led to the poor performance of the role. The two had a bad relationship for thirty years.
El Salvador chose to reconcile with the male protagonist after 30 years, and personally invited him to the door with the script of "Addiction". Tell the male protagonist that a really good actor will not cry, but will hold back tears. The male protagonist perfectly interprets "Addiction", his eyes are reddish, and he interprets the director's previous story perfectly. The reconciliation between the director and the male protagonist, and working together again after 30 years, is still a perfect result.
Salvador told the doctor on the operating table that he started to create again, and then slowly fell asleep under the effect of anesthesia. In the end, the story of the mother and himself resting at the train station was filmed, and the film slowly ended after a "card" in El Salvador.
The film doesn't have much ups and downs, and it can be said that it is the least like Almodovar. This is the director's life autobiography, like the gentle strokes of writing an autobiographical novel. Very sincere and very gentle.
The influence of my mother on myself, the regret for my mother, the regret for my lover, the reconciliation with my film partner, the nostalgia for my childhood, all these life experiences have finally made me, and no time is wasted and wasted. Salvador in the film is recreated and life begins a new phase.
In life, we need to reconcile with ourselves, the past years, and the regrets in our hearts. This will give you the strength to continue on your next journey. Those unresolved past events and knots will one day be healed in time. Time is the best medicine, and every experience has never been let down.
Almodovar's color matching and shooting techniques are as powerful as ever. Although this is my second Almodovar directed film.
I was moved.
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