"I want to end this," the heroine wanted to say several times, but didn't say it completely. Even in fantasy, the male protagonist's "girlfriend" is thinking about leaving him. The male protagonist lacks love and has low self-esteem, just like when he was on the "stage" at the end of his life, Gao Ge's last sentence was, "I want to have a her that only belongs to me", and then froze to death in the snow. It can't be said that the male protagonist has no personality problems, as shown in the "dialogue", he has a strong desire for control and a violent personality, and hopes that everything will follow his rules. But the root of these may be that he never got what he wanted.
Sad for his misfortune, but unable to be angry, because he also worked hard, but like a poor imitation painting in the basement, like his mother praised him for his lack of talent but hard work, like he loves reading and can recite, he is not Excellent, just average. And this is also the predicament of many people, especially the predicament of many literary youths. We love literature and art, listen to a lot of music, and write beautiful sentences, but we are ordinary people after all. And what we create, in the eyes of the public, may be extremely clumsy, because there are too many people who are better than us.
We have a hobby of transcending our mediocrity, but the unchangeable mediocrity drags us to the ground of cruelty. So we live mediocrely, age mediocrely, reach the climax of a lifetime in our own fantasies, and die mediocrely, uncared for and remembered.
"How can you envy someone just because he's young?" Why not. Younger, healthier, more energized, paths of infinite possibilities opened up before him, and with age they were sealed. The cleaners counted the number of classrooms day after day, and looked at the youthful face with a smile day after day, while he was alone, wearing cleaning clothes, doing boring work day after day. Aging, like his imaginary parents, weak and forgetful. The fantasy of his girlfriend discussing gerontology with him and his family is actually expressing his concerns about aging. Society is not so tolerant, it does not accept the elderly, it seems that getting old has become a shameful thing.
However, many people still retain their childhood self in the process of getting older. Like the male protagonist said, "I feel like I'm still a child". This is not an excuse like "I'm still a baby" to avoid responsibility, but he still retains the character and habits of his childhood. Child, believing that good things will happen, that he will be loved, he didn't know it at that time, hope is the biggest lie invented by human beings. Part of the male protagonist is aging and becoming bitter, but there is always a part of him that retains some beautiful fantasies.
"Fantasy, this deadly thing." Yu Hong said. But although it is deadly, it also provides a possibility of dying in fantasy, just like the last stage play of the male protagonist, he attracted much attention, some people applauded him, and he died in warm applause. At the same time, he was sober, did not blame his mother for his pain, did not believe in Freud's theory, and was very feminist. He didn't demonize women because he couldn't get love, but he held a very fair attitude towards the characters in the movie. He is really a nice guy.
But good people sometimes don't get love. Some people will comfort, what if there is no love, can people live? But for a man who never got it, how much he longed for it from the bottom of his heart. "Don't talk about dogs" is the complaint of people who have already talked about it, but love is an extravagant hope for the male protagonist.
I can't forget the pig that was eaten alive by maggots, it's like a metaphor for the hero's life. In Final Fantasy, he said to the pig, You are so kind. This line makes my heart heavy. The last warmth and the last kindness come from a pig who has also suffered from pain. Maybe in life, the male protagonist has no chance to say such a thank you to people, because life is too unkind to him.
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