This is not a technically perfect drama. To be honest, the provocative editing made me confused, maybe a little deep, because the male protagonist's role and psychological level are very complicated; but the story still resonates.
I have lived with drug addicts since I was a child. Even if I act stupid, I have to admit that I am a close relative. My parents never took on the responsibility of raising me, which I felt strongly from the moment the family was down and out. Since then, I have carried on my small shoulders responsibilities that are not at my age.
Because I wanted to run away from my family since I was a child. I hated my dad's uselessness, hated the way he looked like a ghost, hated the way he was smoking in front of me; I also hated that my mother actually let us go, but loved him so much Son, better than me and my sister. Once, I found a safe space and called my mother to tell my mother how much I hated him, that he came back and created a dream for me, but left quietly; even if I never forgave him, Because I have to face the fear of the person I love disappearing again, I understand his inability at that time and choose to reconcile with myself, but so far, I have no courage to understand the details of my father's growth process, and I have no courage to face it. His incompetence and cowardice. For as long as I can remember, I despised my dad so much and was so reluctant to talk to him. But I was always lucky, at least in my ignorant childhood, to be loved by the rest of the family and not as helpless as Pacrick.
Because of my self-protection, I am different from the people in my family. Because I keep as far away as possible, I can have the courage to collide in the process and find opportunities to redeem myself. This is what I admire about the male protagonist. Even though he has been haunted by those unbearable experiences and unbearable childhoods over and over again, in order to escape and punish himself, he finally chooses to face the difficult things he has always faced. The demon of the heart always chooses to stand up bravely in the downs and downs again and again.
However, this road is not easy to walk. Even if my degree is slight, I have failed countless times, and I have fallen countless times before I learn to accept myself and gradually believe that I am worthy of being loved. Nothing is more difficult than fighting against yourself and facing the fears that have recurred, because you have experienced it, and you can know that the Many in your heart is so difficult.
Sometimes I'm still willing to reach out to help people who are willing to help themselves, because I appreciate their courage to stand up, because when I'm so incapable, there are always lucky people who are willing to give me a hand. I hope you will remember to always have this power. cuz nobody should do that to anybody else.
If you don't agree with how you were raised, stop treating your inner child the way your caregivers treated you from an early age. The opposite of love is not not loving, but numbness. Whether it is to indulge oneself, or to have a mission and do everything possible to make oneself excellent, it is impossible to let go of oneself and heal oneself. Because both methods are essentially the same. If you want to get out of this shadow, you can only have the courage to face your childhood fears, nourish your inner child, and feel that you love yourself, are cherished and loved by others.
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