Yesterday, I dreamed that the primary school head teacher held a class meeting. She still looked down on me and suppressed me as always. I screamed at her, accused her, and even cried to her. In the second and third grades, you let the class do the right thing. I was cynical; then my mistakes would be put on the class announcement, and I would be used as a typical case of negative teaching materials to educate the class at every turn. . . . What the hell did this eight- or nine-year-old kid do wrong, was it a crime, and was it serious enough for you to treat it this way?
After graduating from elementary school, my grades had already reached the middle and upper levels. On the day of graduation, most of the classmates in the class issued certificates of merit. I looked at the group’s long hair eagerly, but I didn’t get my share until the last one was sent out. Until last year, thanks to you, you still remembered me, and you still said self-righteously, "She is still working in a supermarket now, ah no, she is still in college, college or undergraduate? Ah, studying at 211 University? ??" Then he was speechless for a long time, showing a look of astonishment. I don't know if this answer is a winner or a loser. In the dream, you avoided my accusation and did not dare to look at me. In the dream, I was crying and chasing after you, until I couldn’t speak any longer. I said, “Teacher, I’m sorry, I was too heavy, I just said I just want to tell you that I can be a good student." Ten years later, I dreamed that I was 20 years old, and I accidentally opened a broken box full of dust, and pain poured out of it. flood of memory. Those feelings of shame, low self-esteem, anger, etc. are beyond my 10-year-old's ability to digest, so I simply pack them aside and pretend to ignore them for ten years.
Elementary school things seem to have become taboo, never mention it, unbearable to look back. Until this dream, which was ten years late, awakened the 10-year-old girl in my 20-year-old heart. I didn't expect that I was still crying so sadly in the dream, and then I realized that I had always been brooding about not reconciling with my original self. I want to hug the injured little girl and comfort her: it's really not your fault, it's not your fault.
Recently, I saw an interesting saying in psychology that not remembering does not mean forgetting. The so-called forgetting is just that we do not dare to face those painful memories and simply throw the package aside, but it will quietly hide in our eyes. The place where you can't see - the subconscious, what we realize is only the tip of the iceberg, but the subconscious is as terrifying as the iceberg hidden under the sea, the more you suppress those painful memories, the more it will penetrate into your subconscious, Then one day it suddenly exploded. It was like my dream of being ten years late woke me up, and it was only when I faced it that I completed my redemption. If you can't face it, you can't really solve the problem, and you won't really let go. So not remembering is not forgetting, forgetting ≠ letting go. So adults, don't ignore the hurting children, don't underestimate the psychological needs of the children, and protect the children's soft hearts.
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