I watched the movie "I Want to Eat Your Pancreas" two years ago, because at the time I thought the name of the movie sounded a bit strange. The name of a horror movie. With such a mentality, I watched the movie once. I can say that I didn't understand it. What I saw was a plot. An autistic boy was actually liked by a lively and cheerful terminally ill girl. Later, the two fell in love. But it was because of an accident that the two were separated by yin and yang. This is the memory I have left from watching this movie two years ago, and my evaluation of it is a love tragedy.
But two years later today (November 6, 2021 20:26) I watched this movie for the second time, and at this time I had read the book "The Little Prince" and found that it was not only It's just a love tragedy, it also has this higher purpose-about self-redemption, the meaning of our life. I don't know if I can explain this lofty interest clearly, I can only say that I try to express what I want to express.
When I watched the film for the second time, I watched it with this question in mind - why do these two heroes and heroines with seemingly so different personalities fall in love and come together? I believe that true love must happen between two people with similar souls, so what are the similarities in the souls of the male and female protagonists? It seems that the heroine did not realize this problem. After reading it for the second time, I feel that I can answer this question. The similarity is - loneliness.
Let's talk about the male protagonist first. The male protagonist is a relatively autistic person. He doesn't have many friends in school, and he is not willing to take the initiative to make friends with others. There seem to be three episodes in the movie where another boy gives the male protagonist chewing gum. The first two times the male protagonist did not accept the chewing gum, which shows that the male protagonist is unwilling to make friends with others. Because the action of giving chewing gum means a goodwill from the other party. He wants to make friends with the male protagonist, but the male protagonist refuses. The meaning here is that the male protagonist is not willing to accept this kindness and become friends with the other party. Of course, this chewing gum has another function as a prop, which I will talk about later. Why is the male protagonist like this? I think because the male protagonist has a sense of inferiority deep in his heart for some reason, and because of this inferiority complex, the male protagonist closes himself up, so that he can live in his own world without having to connect with others outside. In this way, we can better protect ourselves psychologically and prevent others from discovering the true self who is inferior. In the movie, the male protagonist himself said, "I guess everyone thinks that I am an inconspicuous classmate, or the evaluation will only be worse." The male protagonist creates a reason for himself through such self-denial (because this reason is entirely his What I imagined, I didn’t really understand how others saw me, I could understand it by asking the heroine, “Did they tell you that?”), so that I have a reason not to have sex with others. Friends, so as to protect yourself psychologically so that you will not be hurt in your relationship with others. Such a closed person is actually extremely lonely in his heart, and such loneliness can easily make him unable to find the meaning of life. That's why he asked the heroine "What is life?" when he was playing Truth or Dare in the hospital. At this time, he probably still didn't know what he was living for, but because of the existence of the heroine , let him begin to understand what it means to be alive. This can be known from the "really, you really can tell me a lot" after listening to the female lead's answer later, he has begun to understand the meaning of life at this time, which is also one of the changes he later changed. turning point. When a person begins to understand the meaning of his life, he can take the initiative to make changes. It turns out that he did, as evidenced by the fact that the male protagonist in the movie finally accepted his friend's chewing gum and finally he actively wanted to be friends with Kyoko.
Let's talk about the heroine, although the heroine is enthusiastic and cheerful, and she behaves like this in front of friends and family, but she is a very sensitive, emotional, especially empathetic person who will take care of others' feelings. , These characters can be felt from the self-report in the heroine's diary. So she did not tell other people (including her best friend) the fact that she was terminally ill, because she was afraid of causing harm to her friends, and also afraid that her friends would take special care of her because of her terminal illness, so she would also feel feeling anxious. It is for this reason that the fact that the heroine is terminally ill has become a secret hidden in her heart forever. She can't tell others about her true feelings about this secret, and this secret officially makes her feel lonely. Although her character is enthusiastic and cheerful, it is only because she puts this loneliness in the deepest corner of her heart and does not want others to see it. Zhou, the physical indicators don't seem to be normal. A little bit, forget it, I won't lie here. Although I am very uneasy, I still try to be brave around me. Accidentally met the male protagonist. The male protagonist also saw her diary and learned the secret of her terminal illness, and did not act as shocked as she imagined. This made her curious about the male protagonist, so she took the initiative to ask the male protagonist to really understand the male protagonist's behavior. As she deepened her understanding of the male protagonist, she may have discovered the loneliness deep in the male protagonist's heart, and wanted to save the male protagonist, let him get out of his closed world, and feel the beauty brought by the feelings of the world. Just like when the female protagonist answered the male protagonist "what is life" in the hospital, she answered "to live is to connect with someone", "to recognize someone, to like someone, to hate someone, to be with someone will make you feel bad." Very happy, holding hands with someone" "If you are alone, there is no way to recognize your existence, and the relationship with other people is living" "My heart is here because everyone is here, and my body is here. It’s because we can get in touch with everyone, so people’s lives have meaning.” "By your own choice, you can live here like us." She used "we" here to separate the male protagonist. I hope that the male protagonist can walk out of the closed self through her own choice and understand the living Meaning, feel the warmth brought by feelings.
The hero and heroine know each other because of two similar lonely souls, because they can feel and understand each other's loneliness, and because they make each other more perfect and love each other. In fact, I think the female lead and the male lead are the same kind of people, but she is more psychologically mature than the male lead. Because she knows that they are a kind of person, she can understand the male protagonist. This can be seen from what the heroine's mother said when the hero went to the heroine's house to fetch the diary, "This is something Yingliang left for you, Yingliang told me, she asked me to take this book after she died. The diary was given to someone, the only person who knew her condition and the name of "Common Disease Library", and she also said that the person was very timid, so she might not come to the funeral, but she must come back to get the book", and The heroine mentioned in her suicide note, "When I said in the hospital that it's better to play the real box or challenge, I'll tell you what I was going to ask at that time, and that's why you didn't call me by my name? Put me somewhere in your heart. You like to imagine how people think of you when you are called by your name, so you are afraid that I will imagine the same as you. You know that I will leave eventually, afraid To become friends or lovers with me, am I right?" After that, the male protagonist smiled, which meant that the female protagonist had guessed correctly, and she really understood the male protagonist. So she understands how the male protagonist will change in the future, and she wants to lead the male protagonist to maturity through her own efforts. Just as she said in her suicide note, "But the relationship between us is not an ordinary relationship such as love and friendship." Maybe this is a relationship that redeems each other and helps each other grow. Because she had paid and the pay was not in vain (the male protagonist did change later), she found her value in the last stage of her life, and she could feel the happiness that she needed as a person.
Some may ask whether the heroine's sacrifice is worth it? In the eyes of outsiders, the heroine seems to have paid more. As a girl with a good image, good personality and popularity, it is incomprehensible to take the initiative to pursue such a withdrawn boy. But in the opinion of the heroine, she should feel that it is worth it. In addition to the happiness of finding her own value in this relationship, she also gets company when they get along, and the loneliness hidden in her heart is also there. gradually healed. This is from what the heroine wrote in her suicide note: "I told my mother that I wanted her to give this book to you, and I wrote letters to many people, but it's up to you to decide whether to show them or throw them away. It's a little thank you to you who gave me a lot." It can be seen that the heroine feels that she has also gained a lot from this relationship. The male protagonist doesn't seem to have paid a lot, but the male protagonist gave the company that is not so obvious. When he was with the female protagonist in the movie, he didn't complain no matter what, what did the female protagonist propose? He will still accept any request. The male protagonist has his own empathy and will think about the other side. And the heroine, as a sensitive and emotional person, has already noticed it, as she wrote in her suicide note. Because of the male protagonist's uncomplaining companionship and empathy that can empathize with you, he may not realize that he has entered the heart of the female protagonist. Two lonely souls are no longer so lonely because of each other's dedication to each other. This may be the magic of love. Because of the existence of the other party, we are willing to let go of our obsession with ourselves, and pay for the other party wholeheartedly and without any regrets. In the process, both ourselves and the other party are perfected, so that we feel happy from the bottom of our hearts.
Finally, I noticed a few recurring props in the film and talk about my symbolic understanding of these props. First of all, the first place to appear is the heroine's diary "Common Disease Library". The diary is actually a tool to express the heroine's innermost feelings. In the diary, the heroine does not need to hide her feelings, she is facing the real self, no need to hide, all her emotions - happiness, sadness, embarrassment, anxiety, fear, etc. - can be found in Really express it in the diary, instead of letting the emotions accumulate in the bottom of my heart. I feel that without this diary, the heroine might really be overwhelmed by the fact that she is terminally ill, and thus have a problem in her heart. Because once these negative emotions cannot be expressed, and they have been accumulated in the heart for a long time, they will really become ill.
Secondly, it is the chewing gum given to him by the male protagonist's classmates, which actually symbolizes the self-transcendence made by the male protagonist. The classmates gave him chewing gum twice before, but he did not accept it, because he was still in a state of self-isolation at that time and was unwilling to establish contact with others. And the third time he rejected the chewing gum at first, but then he accepted the chewing gum, which means that the heroine brought changes to the hero. It was a turning point from closed to open.
Finally, and also the most important prop, the book "The Little Prince", I think this movie is not only a one-step love tragedy movie because of the existence of this book. Anyone who has read the book "The Little Prince" must have an impression of an important concept in the book, that is, the concept of "taming" mentioned by the fox in the book. Taming actually means establishing connections with others. Establishing a connection to achieve a transcendence of one's own life may be one of the ideas the whole film wants to convey to the audience. And in the last part of the movie, the scene where the male protagonist reads the suicide note of the female protagonist is actually an imitation of the scene depicted in the book The Little Prince. This confirms that the ideas conveyed by this film are consistent with the ideas conveyed by the book "The Little Prince".
Finally, let me tell you my thoughts. In real life, we can't be so lucky to be loved by a kind-hearted person like the heroine. If we do encounter it, then I hope you will cherish it. If you can't meet it, then you should improve yourself. After all, people gather in groups and divide them into groups. Only when you become good enough can you attract equally good people. Love is a kind of ability, what we should do is to learn to love others, even if this love does not bring good results, at least it is worthy of our hearts. Perhaps we should not expect to rely on others to save ourselves, but should rely on our own strength to save ourselves and make ourselves better. The road of life is long, and it is precisely because it is long enough that we can spend a lifetime to achieve self-improvement and self-transcendence. Every little step you take, you will be truly happy.
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