Write yourself in a film review for the first time. During the time I graduated from university, like the male lead, I was in a state of being indifferent or even indifferent to the life around me. After graduating, I reviewed the postgraduate entrance examination, came back to look for work, changed jobs, and lived without pain. I was confused and numb. No other classmates left the campus and got employed immediately, and couldn't wait to be passionate about working hard for the future. I am full of inexplicable doubts about this kind of new beginning that everyone feels natural. The doubt is this: I am looking for a job, what is the meaning of my job? make money. Then why should I make money? Alive. Okay, then why am I alive? The problem is, it turns out that I can't find the meaning of my life. I don't have the slightest love and expectation for my life and the life around me, so how can I have the enthusiasm to fight for my future?
I don't like or are good at university majors. Finding a similar job naturally doesn't go well from the inside out. But then I didn't know what I wanted to do, or what else I could do. My family was constantly under pressure, and some relatives began to accuse me of being selfish, but I just got more and more entangled, more and more depressed, and sometimes even felt desperate.
I went to read Eckhart Tory and chat with Christian missionaries. I was even afraid that I would commit suicide and study psychology, and occasionally conduct self-psychological interventions. Two years later, the meaning of life seems to have some understanding, but it seems that I still don't know.
Then I started to watch a lot of movies. Until the year before last when I saw "Suyuan" adapted from real events, everything seemed to have an answer. 9-year-old Suyuan lowered her head and said, now she finally knows why her grandma always shouted "Oh, I'm going to die... I'm going to die..." because that is the meaning of life. I held that movie and cried out of my tears for more than 20 years. This sentence, spoken so lightly from the victim's mouth, is far better than the answers I found in various philosophical works and major religious doctrines in those years. Thanks to the screenwriter.
This year, I found a job that I like, and I am happily doing it. Begin to be confident, and gradually become enthusiastic about life, no longer tangled, still confused, but no longer numb. I started to learn guitar, started to try to draw, and started to appreciate photography. I started to have my own career goals, and I started to look forward to my future life.
Like in this movie, the male protagonist was insensitive to his surroundings from beginning to end, until he experienced the death of the female protagonist, he cried. I know that he finally came alive.
What can be more effective to find the meaning of life than to experience a pain or life and death?
Those who need to find the meaning of their lives in order to live normally are unfortunate. I hope all the unfortunate people...cry out soon.
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