2021.10.02
Crying every episode. I'm not sad because of anything specific, maybe a general sadness. The things we do, the songs we listen to, the movies we watch, and the people we meet all reflect who we are and who we want to be. What this show made me see is the inaction of my parents to me since I was a child, not to survive, but to live. All of them told me that the world is painful and difficult, that life is uninteresting and unenjoyable, that I have nothing, that I am prostrate and always at the feet of others, and that I must fight hard not to give in to others. I found that when I watch movies, dramas and books, I first notice the sadness and pain of the characters and the wonderful life experiences, and then I can see his artistic expression, the color of his pictures, his interestingness, or reminded by others. I still need constant healing in my heart, and maybe I can better perceive life. If you fall into the negative emotions of the past, you may become blind, just like in my eyes, my parents are so inaction, ignorance, and do not love me. This should be a prejudice, and now I am far away from home, seeking healing in a way of running away from home, and treating my parents, my future partner, and possible children better.
What impressed me was that during the epidemic at home, because of "girls should wash dishes and cook", I suddenly became angry and aggrieved, and I lost my temper with my grandma. It's just that things have passed year by year, your sadness and grievances are still there, the shackles in your life, but you don't know who to give them back. Maybe they are all perpetrators, but they are only part of it.
Melrose uses alcohol and drugs to ease the pain and escape the past, and I use it to stay up late reading novels and short videos. Those domineering, gentle and affectionate male protagonists, those relatives who protect the calf always make me feel that I am cared for; those big heroines and villains go their own way and strive hard to make me experience the joy of being myself.
Ideas are meant to be changed. Glad that in the end, Melrose went out, out of the past, out of the heart, and that's the hope of healing for me.
I still have a long way to go to learn to love myself and be able to be myself and love others.
Curly Fu has a good temperament! Nice suit! The color of the picture is solemn and elegant. The character in Jessica Ryan's drama is so temperamental
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