Having witnessed two deaths, I know that I will regret my unwarranted speculations about them for a lifetime. Because it is my prejudice that makes them lose a little bit of color in their lifetime. I thought it was no longer like that, but now I found that I misread life again when I was reading the film.
The stories of three women of different ages seem unrelated but are inextricably linked. The three stories are actually contradictory on the surface. Both the character played by Julian Moore and Virginia Woolf in the film chose to commit suicide. One chose self-salvation at the last minute, and the other had no regrets. You cannot find peace by avoiding life. The story of three women can be summed up in one sentence. I used to not understand that if the actions of the three of them are not an escape from life, then what is the purpose of such a stark contradiction between the roles of Woolf and Moore. Since the behaviors of the two are very different, one of them must be escaping from life. But I was wrong. Woolf's death was not the result of her escaping from life, but the price she paid for bravely facing life. Moore's self-salvation is another interpretation
Woolf chose London between her husband and London. She knew that staying in a small town was an escape. What was not available would always be in commotion. The only thing she could get from deliberate isolation was more turbulent waves in her heart. It was not that she was not grateful for everything Leonard had done for her. Without Leonard, i might have shot myself long before. Like the letter written by Woolf at the beginning of the film, they all need relief. She desperately wants to go back to London and make a choice between death and the surface tranquility. You cannot find peace by avoiding life. I know that your suicide is a life you desperately want to get rid of this tranquility but you don’t want to have a life at all. The price paid is also the result of your brave choice to face your life and your nature. I finally understand that your suicide is not an escape, it is just a derivative of your brave choice. You bravely pursued the life you wanted-London instead of Richmond, even if the price was perish. Before this, I have misread it as a means of relief that you desire. I know I completely misunderstood you.
"I am alone in the darkness, in the deep darkness. Only myself can understand the darkness I face. What I have to face is the turbulence and uneasiness. That is my inner desire and my nature. Because You, I wish I could be happy in the peace and quiet of this small town. But if I were to choose between death and staying in Richmond, I would choose death."
Every time I read this, I feel a powerful force. Strength, we always criticize the cowardice of suicides, but we don't know how much courage it takes to choose death. When we did not have the guts to witness the flesh and blood, they had to use their hands to complete the most solemn rituals to themselves. Moreover, suicide does not always mean escape. Woolf's suicide was due to the sacrifice she made by bravely pursuing her turbulent nature. For her, escape means staying in that remote place and deviating from her nature. On the contrary, death is just a reflection of her bravery.
Passers-by are full of speculation about other people's lives. Whenever I hear others put the cowardly name in front of the name of the suicide, I feel that they are the real coward. They don’t have the courage to face death, they don’t have the courage to speak of death openly in life, they always Avoiding the taboo, for fear that death will fall on them, they treat suicides so harshly, describing them as suicide. Their unprovoked guesses have blinded their eyes to see the essence. The most natural attributes of mankind are due to unwarranted conjectures. Become a demon. Death is not terrible, he is just the most serious thing in life. Sometimes, the choice of life and death is not our own choice. The reason for the apparent self-termination is only known to the person concerned. All we can do is close our worldly lips, meditate on blessings, and give full respect to each life. Not understanding does not mean disrespect.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Everyone has his own unique way of facing life. Unprovoked speculation about the lives of others is the biggest taboo. There are unknown stories and reasons behind every choice. But I think that even if my choice is not understood by others in the future, I will not leave any regrets, just like Woolf. Because, I always follow my nature, I am always facing my life, those things that I was born destined to pursue.
Dear Leonard,to look life in the face, always to look life in the face, and to know it, for what it is. At last, to know it, to love it, for what it is. And then ,to put it away.
You cannot find peace by avoiding life.
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