After watching "Mrs. America", the deepest feeling is that it is always more secure to stay within the conservative framework of the secular world, because one can imagine that there is an omnipotent big Other who is responsible for one's own happiness; Radical, idealistic people must pay the price of loneliness, and they can only take responsibility for their own choices. The thing that moved me most in the film was actually Betty, known as the mother of the feminist movement. She was the most out of place in the group portraits of feminists in the film. The public welcome, the men she's dating secretly ask about Gloria without feeling anything wrong (it must be hurt!); she has her own book, but she doesn't have as much politics as Jill, Bella, Shirley Status and powerful influence, because of character issues and frequent conflicts with others in the feminist body; most importantly, unlike all the other feminists in the film, she was cheated on in middle age Abandoned by her husband, she has no partner after that, and often gets drunk alone.
In a debate with the anti-feminist conservative activist Phyllis Schlafly, she passionately promoted the importance of affirmative action for women, only to be caught by Mrs. Schlafly on "personal issues". Mrs. Schlafley said, "The false promise of the women's liberation movement is happiness. Affirmative action doesn't allow you to have a happy family life, nor can the law prohibit your husband from being a beautiful young model for sympathy with middle-aged women. And leave you"; then, she directly aimed at Betty - "You are the unhappiest woman I have ever met". Betty, who was originally confident and calm, was first stunned, then angry and insulting, and finally hid in the bathroom and shivered by taking medicine to relieve the pain.
This was the scene that bothered me the most. Betty is unruly, but it can be seen from the fact that she chooses to date a man, she still longs for love and protection from the opposite sex, and still longs for a stable family; and for her ideal of equality between men and women, she will not go to flattery Men and women live as gentle, courteous, courteous women that men expect, so they cannot gain the love of men, so it is indeed difficult for her to obtain happiness as defined by Schlafly. In fact, Schlafly is not wrong on this point. This kind of happiness is indeed not guaranteed by the women's liberation movement. On the contrary, a woman who lives too individualistically and raises demands on men will often lose this happiness because of men's dissatisfaction.
Therefore, Betty's ideal of equal rights did not benefit her, but made her suffer, and she clearly saw this, as long as she changed herself, she could easily obtain that worldly happiness, but she still did not shrink back , she chose to endure this pain and pay the price of loneliness for her ideal.
What is happiness? Happiness is just an illusion, an answer within a certain framework. Even in the glorious era of the feminist movement, there must still be a thoughtful and good partner in the illusion of women's "happiness". If not, then something is missing. Although Betty is well aware of the importance of gender equality in the social and political realm, she does not seem to have crossed this illusion of happiness in the realm of private pleasure, which is why Schlafly's remarks can hurt Betty so cruelly. Although Eileen Chang's words are harsh, they truly describe the inner illusion of many women: "If a woman cannot get the love of the opposite sex, she will not get the respect of the same sex."
Betty's pain just proves that, for a feminist, the final step is to travel through the illusion, to redefine "happiness", to admit that no one big Other can permanently guarantee their happiness. Are women with conservative values really happy? In the film, Schlafly chose to obey in the face of her husband's obvious contempt and orders, and was accustomed to using mainstream illusions about happiness and love to comfort herself, creating an illusion of family harmony in front of others. Does she really believe that she is happy? ? I think although she is dissatisfied, she still firmly believes that she is happy, because under the logic of love, "happiness" itself presupposes the existence of the big Other, her husband, and thus includes "endurance, dedication, giving up" Some of my own dignity, prioritizing my husband’s needs” and other elements. With the Big Other guaranteeing its own well-being, this ideology has achieved a closed loop, and can thus be idling blindly and without reflection. I think the first step Betty is going to take, but has not yet taken, is to break with the Big Other completely and finally say, "I spurn your hypocritical, self-deceiving happiness."
I think that no big other can be responsible for our happiness. Happiness is not something that can be obtained by choosing which belief (the big other), and whether happiness is only related to luck: a happy marriage is a happy marriage. Unhappy marriages are unhappy, happy singles are happy, unhappy singles are unhappy. The only thing we can do is live our lives according to our own wishes and take responsibility for our choices. Hard work and strength may not bring us happiness, but we can avoid misfortune.
View more about Mrs. America reviews
