After watching the movie in one breath, I still feel unfinished, especially when I know that this is a real incident, it makes my whole body tremble, and I immediately find the original book "Out of the Wild" to read.
I really like to read the original book after watching the movie, the different perspectives between the two always give you new insights. In the movie, we are just a bystander, but in the original book, it seems that we have the ability to read minds. I like to listen to their inner monologues and follow the author to walk through the wilderness again.
Life is never smooth sailing, and sometimes there are unbearable hardships.
The author's feelings for their mothers are very complicated. It was their mother who gave them infinite love and care, but it was their mother who made them leave their father. At the same time, when their father was drinking and beating them, they still endured nine years before leaving completely. It was also the mother who made them leave. They lived in poverty and hardships, but they also brought them optimism and happiness.
She didn't prepare me for college, she occasionally abandoned her children, she smoked marijuana, brandished a wooden spoon to beat us, and told us to call us by their first names. She did not fulfill her responsibilities as a mother. no. And she let me down.
This is one of the few complaints she complains about her mother in the book. Most of the time she loves and misses her, but she may have trouble melting these emotions at the time.
She was only 26 years old when she went to PTC for a hike, and she was only 22 when she faced her mother's death from cancer. At such an age, I was still confused in my own narrow little world, and she certainly didn't have more concerns than us. Mature insights into the world and life.
The intertwined love and hatred for his mother, and the complex emotions of his youth, finally spewed out because of his mother's death. The elder sister and younger brother came to visit less because they could not accept the sickness of the mother, so she felt that the important bond between her mother, her younger brother, and her stepfather fell on her. After the mother left, the stepfather married a new wife. , the siblings have become less connected before, it seems that the mother is the glue of the whole family, and now the family is no longer a family. This was unbearable for her for a while.
Gradually distanced herself from her when she was not growing up, and then spoke ill of her in front of friends or questioned why she did it in the first place. Then as I got older, I gradually realized that she had done her best, and that what she had done was good enough, and finally we were reconciled. But her passing made it all become a memory, and it also left me at a loss. It cut off my adolescent arrogance before it had time to vent, forced me to grow up overnight, and forgave her for all the mistakes she made as a mother—but it also almost never allowed me to grow up, let me The death of an immature life opens up another immature life for me. She is my mother, but she has not fulfilled the responsibilities of a mother. She trapped me forever, but I became a person. She will always be the hole in my heart that can't be filled. And I'm going to keep filling, over and over again.
These unbearable and unbearable pains have turned into injuries again and again, injuries to those around you, and injuries to yourself. She spent the next four years promiscuous sex, abandoned school, drug addiction, divorce, and abortion, all to escape the shock of her mother's death.
Maybe she was too fragile, or maybe it was some kind of gene in her bones. Just like the beginning of the movie, when one of her boots slipped down the mountain, she threw down the other boot angrily and scolded her fate. At first, I was puzzled, thinking that there is still one boot left to be used for a boot, but in her conception, the boots are originally a pair, and if one is lost, the other will also lose consciousness. If the mother has taken away a part of her happiness, the rest of her life is meaningless and complete, and she destroys them with her own hands.
The wilderness has never rescued or given anyone or anything, it only keeps us out of the hustle and bustle, so that we have a space to face our hearts. As if she had thought she had to carry a huge, weighed backpack on the road, at the back she realized that there were some things that could be thrown away. The heavy backpack is like all the remorse from the mess of the past, even if the backpack is beyond her body's capacity, she silently endures it, because she thinks all these sufferings are wishful thinking as redemption under the ordeal.
If she doesn't want to hold on to everything and doesn't know how to give up some unnecessary things, just like her life, to heal her mother, unite her family, be a good wife, and be a good student, all requirements are devoted to perfection, If she could allow herself to be vulnerable, she wouldn't try to use sexual promiscuity to escape herself and ruin her life.
Wilderness leaves material nothing, but it fills the heart. Sometimes the more you want to grasp, the more firmly, the more powerless your body becomes and the more tired your mind becomes.
When you put aside foreign objects, you will find that you have only bravery left. I think that's why people often want to escape the colorful urban life of today and go to the deserted places on foot. What makes you fall in love is the courage to fight against the odds and the purity of survival. Having too much, wanting too much, constantly plays down the acuity of our happiness in life, after all, you will never cherish those things that are at your fingertips.
It's hard to give up, and it's hard to keep going. But she gave up everything to embark on the journey, insisted on finishing the itinerary, and returned to normal society with nothing, and found a world of her own. Life is always moving forward. It never stops for anyone, but it also tells you that it can end at any time, and then find your own new beginning. You will eventually grow on this road. May we can find their place.
Whether it is the movie or the original book, it is worth watching, and the constant pursuit on the road will be the source of strength to overcome the hardships.
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