A few years ago, my second uncle was diagnosed with esophageal cancer, and within a few months, he rapidly declined from healthy to an old man who was often out of breath in the hospital bed. I am not close to him, just a relative who can only meet during the Chinese New Year, when everything was only superficially heard. Later, when my parents took me to visit him, I walked into the ward and saw the old man lying on the hospital bed who couldn't even lift his eyelids. I suddenly felt an incomparable fear in my heart for the first time. So I sat on the sofa beside me, stared at the small TV hanging high on the wall, smelled the strong smell of disinfectant in the hospital, I saw him sit up slowly, the second aunt hit the wall breaker The pigeon soup that I had passed was injected into the stomach through the catheter on his body. I saw the second brother watching quietly with his hands behind his back. I didn't dare to look into his eyes. I knew that I couldn't understand it. Emotions, thoughts. I tried to stare at the TV, but his voice—a hoarse, saw-toothed sound, small but roaring into my ears. I really wanted to run away. A few days later, the second uncle died in the early morning.
Even now, his death has not caused any waves in my heart other than a little sadness, but the shock and fear left by that visit still make me terrified to this day. I have overheard from family chats that other people died of illness, left in a few days, or suffered great pain. For a long time, I had doubts about death. If dying from illness is so painful, why not put the brakes on them early to avoid the pain of illness?
Young people do not know the taste of sorrow, and do not know what "death" is.
I bought a new computer a week ago, downloaded the game "The Sims" that I thought about day and night, and pinched my first character in the game. From building a house, to later making friends and getting married, watching this character go from handsome in youth to potbellied in middle age, and finally into old age. The characters in the game did not escape the law of death. At the end of the game, when the characters died in front of my eyes, I was extremely heartbroken. I tried many ways to prolong the life of the character, but I finally found that when the god of death came to him, no matter how reluctant I was, how attached, how much I wanted to keep it, it was useless. All I can do is bury the two’s urns in the front yard, or cover the house with pictures and paintings of the two of them, and occasionally stare at the two small graves in a daze.
At noon, I talked to my mother about the nostalgic work "The Tree Is Like This" written by Mr. Bai Xianyong for Wang Guoxiang, and the three Italian cypress trees that were torn apart talked about a sentence in "Xiangji Xuanzhi", "There are loquat trees in the courtyard, my wife What was planted by hand in the year of death is now covered." The great sorrow of the world, the passage of time, the regrets and nostalgia in life, all seem to remain on the canopy of the pavilion, and the vicissitudes of life are all on paper. For some reason, the topic turned to the game, and when I mentioned the departure of these two characters, I choked up for a while, and even left a few tears. The game does not have real feelings, but my sadness is also real. It was also at that time that I learned about death in a daze.
There are some parts of this movie that touched me deeply, especially when the two of them were unwrapping Christmas presents, John looked at his lover and said, "Before I regained consciousness, there seemed to be a moment when my soul flew out of my body, and I It's so relaxing. Tim, can you take what I'm saying?" His lover nodded, then shook his head, "No, I'm not ready."
At that time I thought, I can no longer question things, I can no longer question people who are reluctant to press the stop button for their patients. Because I understand that this is not selfish.
It takes courage to give up. But Ren is not a cold-blooded animal, just like the second brother who stood quietly watching his father at that time, why didn't he know his father's situation? But he'd rather hold on to a straw of hope that didn't exist.
Many times we are forced to do things, and accepting death is one of them.
I have always wanted to raise a dog. I have raised him since I was a child, and watched him grow and accompany each other. If I eat, he must eat, and if I don't eat, he must eat. But recently I was thinking, what would I do if he died one day. Later I came to the conclusion that I should have a turtle and let him be sad when I die.
It is easy for people to give up their lives, and it is sad for those who are alive. I think that people who are in pain should try to live a little longer even if they are desperate, probably not because they are reluctant to die, but because they are thinking about what to do with those who love him after he dies.
no no. I'm not ready yet.
Sometimes we avoid intimate relationships, and we oppose any form of relationship, not because we don't want it, but because we're too afraid to lose, and we're afraid that others won't be able to lose themselves.
Trees are like this, grass and trees have feelings, so why not people?
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