I wish it was a world we never knew

Katheryn 2022-10-15 13:46:09

There is a world most people don't know about, full of contempt, insults and violence.

When we were not involved, the characters in it were alienated by me as "others" until I contacted Emily from Know My Name and Mary from Unbelievable.

Emily, 24, two years out of college, a beautiful, independent life has just beckoned to her, and everything is slowly unfolding.

On one occasion, I went to a friend's party with my sister. I woke up unconsciously in the hospital the next day and was told that she had been sexually assaulted with her fingers, lay naked next to a trash can, and was rescued by two school students.

She had fragmented memories of that night. It was such an unimportant, lazy and relaxing night. Things that were originally innocuous would take her four or five years to recall and digest. As far as what color pants you wear, what position you stand in, and how many words you say, all of them need to be cut, measured, calculated, and then presented to the public for judgment. The knives are densely pierced to the victims, and it is the "he" who is manipulating all this with bad intentions.

She knows all too well how the crime of sexual assault depends on the silence of the victim, and how she is afraid of the consequences of knowing the victim's voice. So she chose to fight back.

She thought that what she was fighting against would be cunning and articulate abusers, but she was far from expecting that behind this small hill there was a big mountain bag of the system, which was extremely stubborn and rigid because it had been entrenched for a long time.

Emily's account as a survivor provides a realistic perspective on the complexities of the healing process. In her space, it's easier to understand that money can open the door to prison. Well, I have to admit that money can make a ghost run the mill.

But I am amazed by the sophistry of moral standards and codes of conduct.

Never thought that when violence happened, if a woman was drunk and dressed differently, she would be accused of bad behavior and therefore not taken seriously, and women's ambiguity would be an opportunity for men to defend, and when When a man is drunk, people will sympathize with him, thinking that he is not an active choice in a rational state, but an unconscious and confused act.

When the abuser used to be a swimmer, he could be privileged because of his so-called potential, and let the moral scale tilt in his favor. The judge would think that as long as he was sentenced, no matter how mild, he would be stigmatized for the rest of his life. And losing the opportunity to become a general, letting him lose "so much" is enough to make him suffer.

This preconceived judgment discusses what he will be based on his potential rather than what he is, which is unfair. No one can promise another person the future, one step at a time, the future must be built day after day, if you don't work hard for it or do something irreversible for a while, then your dreams will definitely disappear. . Just like when I did something wrong, my mom would comfort me while admonishing me that you always have to learn to take responsibility for your actions.

The truth is, gender is not privileged, potential is not privileged, and color is not privileged.

Everyone is a free individual and should be disciplined by morals and laws. When women are given more shackles because of their gender, we regard male behavior as a constant constant, and female behavior is a variable expected to change. We passively lose freedom of clothing, cannot go out alone, and have to walk in crowded places. place.

Thinking of this, I couldn't help roaring, why must we be the ones who are highly sensitive and vigilant? Loose and loose slings are our way of liberating our bodies. Walking on empty streets in the middle of the night is our language of communication with the city. Drinking and eating meat is our right to enjoy food. When those who have bad intentions can have higher standards, always remember the yellow line and don't go over half a step.

Because the victim's clothing, alcohol intake, and haunting times are used to explain insults and assaults, it's just an attempt to confuse or downplay the individual when the individual is demeaned. Low morality and inhumanity are the essence of things.

I also want to talk about Mary of "Unbelievable", she is really strong! (starting to cry) She has experienced many bad foster homes, and it is very sad to say that she has even been fed dog food by her parents. Because of the turmoil in her life, she has been exposed to the "system" since she was three years old.

One night she was raped again and again by a man who came through a window, and threatened to not tell anyone by taking pictures.

When she plucked up the courage to tell her adoptive parents, they didn't believe her, telling the police that she was a child who was keen to attract attention, suggesting that the experience was likely made up. Since your relatives are belittling you so much, the police officer who is the "other" also begins to do things on a perfunctory basis.

Facing everyone's indifferent attitude, Mary broke down in the process of dismantling her experience over and over again, and she could only painfully admit that it was an event she imagined. He was later charged with making a false report, occupying police resources, and was fined $500.

For the abuser, it was just one of the countless nights in the victim's life, but it wasn't. This night will make a normal person's life shattered into pieces. I don't know at which moment, when something unstable comes into view, it may cause a series of stress reactions in the victim, and the emotions are involuntarily out of control, resulting in the driver's license test. The fading of traffic lights, the inability to think at work, the mechanized behavior, the tears in the hair roots in life, the sleepless nights of the pillow,

I tried to figure out how to survive this lost life. I don't know, but Mary and Emily gave me a less than perfect answer.

As Emily's mother told her, "Good things and bad things always go together. Wait for the good things to come."

So Mary finally waited for the truth that belonged to her, and she also got an apology and compensation from the police officer and the city government, although these were not enough to make up for what she lost.

In the play, the psychotherapist asks Mary, "Even so, is there anything you can learn from this rape? I know it's hard, but this is real life, misunderstood, distorted, imposed. The incident of the crime may happen again, and you have to be prepared to deal with it again."

"You know what you'll get when you make this decision? You'll get more", yeah, being brave and fighting for what you want is the most coooool! This is why confident and thick-skinned people can navigate life more calmly and freely.

I know that I am not strong enough to have the courage to expose the brutality of power, gender violence and class privilege in our society, including in the face of some misunderstandings and stigma, even if I love my feathers very much, I will hesitate, Hesitating.

But these two brave girls made me see another aspect. They faintly revealed a kind of gentle but firm power, and this power is infecting me little by little, making me believe that good will triumph over evil.

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