Original Huang Sisilian psychology today included in the topic #family education16#emotion60#personal growth62#marriage11
"Kids don't know their parents, they know the details, the obvious - what they need to know so they can take sides. But they don't know, the first time I saw you on stage, I shuddered The whole band is laughing at me behind my back that I'm in love."
This is what an eighty-year-old father and husband said calmly, facing the back of his dementia-stricken wife. Before that, he had been reluctant to visit her for many years.
No wonder his daughter and friends said he was indifferent. When his daughter was born, he had already begun his long punishment for his wife. That's why when a daughter is betrayed and abandoned by her husband, she gritted her teeth at her father:
"You've had a lot of women, but she's still holding on, not just for us kids, but mostly for you. She loves you, so she forgives you, and she wants to be with you no matter what."
"At home, you'll just say to her: Quiet, Melanie. Mom will explain to us: Quiet, Dad is writing. Quiet, Dad is resting, he has a concert tonight. Quiet, Dad is playing with someone important. telephone."
"You didn't know anything about your mother, you never cared. And that letter. The letter in which you confessed your love to another man. Mom had to endure that shame. You didn't care what you did to her. pain."
But the same father, in order to keep the feeling that he and his wife are still in love, twice refused the invitation to be the band conductor at the birthday party prepared by the Queen of England for the prince.
Faced with the urgent and rude questioning of the Queen's Ambassador, he finally explained intolerably: "Because "Ode to Jane" was created by me for my wife, only she has sung it, and only she has recorded it. As long as I am alive, only she can Sing! And the point is, my wife can't sing anymore."
The film begins with the first invitation from the Queen's Ambassador. The retired composer was spending his holiday in a hotel in the mountains of Switzerland and was invited by the Queen's ambassador, which he decisively declined, citing "retired" and "personal reasons".
He chatted casually with his friends in the garden, and talked about the fact that he and his wife used to come here for vacation every year. Friends also know that, after all, they have known each other for more than 60 years. They are like two old liars, telling each other unspoken lies, maintaining a long friendship, and at the same time, maintaining the secret of a holy place in their hearts that only belongs to them.
My friend is a Hollywood director who has won numerous awards. In order to combat the anxiety at the end of his life, he pulled a group of young people to come here to make a posthumous work of his own.
The male protagonist, the world-renowned composer who wrote "Ode to Jane", "Black Prism" and "The Life of Hadrian", stopped his career when his wife couldn't sing. While rejecting all job offers, he hypnotized himself that he was already an old man with physical problems.
If it wasn't for the director's friend who stood up in front of him calmly and desperately after being hit, walked straight to the balcony, and stepped out calmly, he would not have experienced the real death.
The actor has been in a symbolic state of suspended animation with his Alzheimer's wife, pretending it's over. In the dream, the tide of desire drowned him. When he was dying, he called out his wife's name, but there was no response, and the water continued to rise.
This may also be a form of their marriage for many years. His indifference was on the surface, her unresponsiveness was hidden beneath submissiveness. So disappointment and desire compete to grow, over the navel, over the chest, over their necks. Love is dead, and there is only endless guilt and resentment left in life, killing each other.
Until the death of the director's friend made him stop pretending to be dead. He went to his wife's sanatorium and recalled the back of his unfamiliar wife:
"They didn't know you sold your mother's jewelry to support my second tune. Everyone else rejected me at the time, calling me a stupid and arrogant musician. You thought so too. But you're right Yes. You cried a lot, not because you sold your mother's jewelry, but because you betrayed your mother."
"They didn't know that we were together. You and I were exhausted, painful and difficult. They never knew that you and I, regardless of everything, regarded each other as a "Song of Jane."
It is a set of simple and beautiful songs that appear in the books of children's violin etudes, and also exist in the world's top concert halls. Its lyrics repeat: "I'm out of control, I'm out of control...that's what it's like to fall in love." Do you remember?
I once had a visit from a woman in her forties who couldn't help recounting her husband's bad behavior in counseling. She was going to get a divorce, every day. I asked her how they got together in the first place.
She hadn't sincerely recalled it for many years. The heart is filled with resentment that has been repeatedly counted. In this way, how can there be a sincere response between husband and wife. Without sincerity, it may be a lack of response.
So I remembered this movie. The movie is called "Youth and Vigorous", but the posters show two old people. Near the end, only through the mouth of the male protagonist's medical examiner, he said that the male protagonist is not only not sick, but there will be a youth waiting for him outside. He eventually accepted the Queen's invitation to conduct "Ode to Jane", allowing another person who was not his wife to play the soprano.
It's a bit sad to see it here, but "Ode to Jane" is still fascinating. Perhaps this is why he finally got rid of the curse that bound him and his wife for 60 years to love and kill each other. Only in this way can we live in death.
In front of everyone, he was a noble and ruthless old man. But he and his wife knew that he was a man with a broken heart. So he hurts her, longs for her, and falls into an individualistic pursuit because of longing and unresponsiveness, which evolves into more violent injuries. Until she was also covered in bruises, completely extinguished, and could no longer respond.
Are women the only ones with Scheherazade's patience?
Men have the wisdom of Shakyamuni
It is only possible to kill each other to despair
Give yourself and the other half a chance
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topic of men and women
Perhaps a topic that will never be outdated in human history
Practicing psychology and exploring together with you
#couple emotion#
For men, the backyard is safe, and the front is flat
For women, when the emotions are smooth, everything can go well
For children, when the relationship between parents is stable, they can worry less about snacks.
For families, once the relationship between husband and wife is settled, the core strength is enough
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