Many people think that the heroine is a bitch. Actually, this is normal because intuitively, the entire movie, including the comics and the original novel, is viewed from the perspective of the hero. The heroine's mental journey has not been described.
This is also the reason why the male protagonist is afraid of being in contact with others and being hurt, so he always chooses to avoid facing this relationship. He has always just guessed what others think of him and does not know the real thoughts of the female protagonist, while the female protagonist wants to get the male protagonist's opinion My own opinion and constantly testing and covering up hurt the male protagonist
In the end, the heroine first completed the transformation from being needed by others to maintain her own existence to her own existence and then needing the male protagonist to make such a timid male protagonist no longer escape and achieve mutual needs and complete a two-way redemption
—————————————————————
In my opinion, Pancreas is not only a work that simply tells about love, it also tells about thinking about existential philosophy. Therefore, the heroine said that she did not want to summarize the relationship between them as love or friendship, but a higher relationship, a relationship between two ways of existence to achieve recognition and blending.
The heroine's way of existence is Heidegger's "I am therefore I think". To live is to live with others and live with the emotions of interacting with others. And the male protagonist's way of existence is Descartes' "I think, therefore I am". He does not depend on anything to live but only exists by himself. This is an authentic state, and the world has only oneself.
But man is a temporal animal. If people live forever, they can always be in a state of inauthenticity. But death is irreplaceable, and everyone needs to face their own death. But because the heroine has a terminal illness, she needs to face death alone. She was in a non-authentic state before and needs to return to her authentic state.
Everyone seems to be paying more attention to the heroine's redemption by connecting the male protagonist with the world, but this story also tells the story of the heroine who lives towards death, finds her own meaning in the process of facing death, and faces the redemption of her true nature.
The story begins in a hospital where the male protagonist, Haruki, picked up the diary written by the female protagonist after she was terminally ill. But Haruki is someone who isolates himself from others. Just like Sartre's "others are hell", when one looks at the world as a subject, oneself is the core of the world and is completely free. But under the eyes of others, I become an object and will be influenced by the values of others, and the world I perceive as a subject collapses. Haruki advocates freedom, so he cuts off the connection with the world and only relies on the world introspection in the book to provide himself with the value of existence.
In such a state of mind, I learned that the female protagonist of my classmate had a terminal illness. Although there was a slight fluctuation, she would not show it because she did not want to have contact with others.
And the heroine Ying Liang is just the opposite. She knows herself completely by the relationship between people and provides herself with value from the opinions of others. With a terminal illness, the doctor told her the cruel truth, and the family avoided the truth. She was afraid to tell other friends that it would destroy the connections she had made and lose her worth. If she wants to maintain this value, she needs to laugh and comfort her friends, but she is clearly the most sad and helpless, so she can't tell others. She squeezed out the most natural smile and told Haruki that she was about to die in the lightest tone. When Haruki learned that Ying Liang was terminally ill but did not fluctuate, she seemed to have found redemption.
She wants to recognize the truth and have ordinary happiness at the same time.
So Sakura Liang fills the vacancy of the library committee member and wants to get close to Haruki. Haruki said that instead of wasting a lot of time in the library, it was better to do what he wanted to do before he died. Sakura Liang used this as a reason to let Haruki accompany him to spend his last daily life. Haruki had no reason to refuse. In fact, Yingliang noticed early on that Haruki always exists alone. During the process of approaching, he found that he could give his existence meaning without having to connect with the outside world. He also longed to become such a person without pulling others. Be sad with her.
As for Haruki, Ying Liang was terminally ill, but he did not show any sadness at all. He infected the people around him with happiness, which made him doubt more than once whether this optimistic and positive girl in front of him would really die. Will answer with a smile, really yes, she doesn't want her departure to bring sadness to others. This is also the reason why the heroine is vulnerable. She is happy with others, but the sadness can only be digested by herself. Haruki also began to gradually become interested in her.
And Ying Liang has already begun to like Haruki. When they were at the beach together, Ying Liang revealed her intentions for the first time and carefully probed, "If you want to fall in love before you die, will you help me?" But Ying Liang is not confident , he can't maintain himself without getting feedback from others, but Haruki is someone who doesn't easily express his views on anything. Before getting a positive answer from Haruki, he immediately covered it up, "Don't think that every word I say has a deep meaning."
In order to shorten the distance, Ying Liang went on a long trip. In the night at the hotel, Yingliang asked Haruki to help her with the facial cleanser in her bag when she was taking a bath, and it was only when Haruki saw the bag of pills and syringes in the bag that she felt that she was going to die for the first time. Before, I was just escaping the fact that Ying Liang would really die, but when Ying Liang recognized the truth, he still infected others with laughter.
After Haruki came out of the shower, Ying Liang looked at the night scene outside the window with a solemn expression on his face, but when he saw Haruki coming out from the reflection in the glass, he immediately cheered up and put on his signature smile. They started playing Truth or Dare, and Haruki began to want to understand how she grew into what she is now. The questions he asked didn't care about her appearance, her communication, her illness, it was all about her, and he also I want to be like her. When Yingliang asked the last question, she was silent for a long time as if she had fallen asleep. It wasn't until Haruki turned off the light that she trembled for the first time to express her fear. "What if I said that I was very scared at the thought of dying," Haruki thought of those syringes and pills, escaping the problem and taking a big risk. Ying Liang asked him to lie down on the bed together, but he did not refuse, he knew that all he could do was accompany him.
On the train at the end of the trip, Haruki expressed for the first time the positive emotions that he was very happy with her. Ying Liang was very happy and felt that not only did he need him, but he also needed himself. To prove it, Ying Liang did not take the initiative to contact him in the days after the trip, but Haruki was also waiting for her to contact him.
At this time, Ying Liang's best friend appeared and told Haruki that Ying Liang was actually a very fragile person who was cheerful and optimistic on the surface. Haruki was lost in thought again.
On a rainy day after school started, Ying Liang couldn't hold back and tried to prove that Haruki actually needed her too. She invited Haruki to her house to lend him the little prince to see. When they were playing games, Ying Liang began to test again, "You don't want me to be your girlfriend anyway." This time, Haruki escaped. Ying Liang began to cover up again and said, "Very good, I'm relieved." Haruki felt that the first connection he wanted to establish was rejected and wanted to leave. But he was hugged by Ying Liang and wanted to kiss him. At this time, Haruki remembered that the heroine's best friend said that if you can't accompany her well, don't approach her, and his eyes began to dodge. Yingliang began to cover up again, "It was just a prank just now", Haruki felt that his feelings were insulted this time, and became angry, overwhelmed her and held her down, the heroine was frightened and cried, at this time Haruki Just calmed down and left immediately.
Yingliang cried alone for a while, and then chased him out immediately. She knew that if he just let him go, their relationship would worsen in the future, and she didn't want that. Haruki felt that being in contact with others would hurt others as well as herself, and it was better to be alone. Haruki said that they were completely opposites, everything they met was just by chance, and she should be with people who really care about her. Yingliang said that all this is not accidental, it is every choice they have made since they were born that has brought them to the present step by step. What we're talking about here is freedom of existential choice. Haruki had always thought that he was like a grass boat drifting with the flow, but after listening to Ying Liang's words, he realized that not choosing is actually a choice. He never rejected Ying Liang. It is inevitable that they will be created, perhaps they are born to meet.
This time, the strong intention of wanting to be with Haruki made Yingliang no longer try. Although she was not sure of Haruki's intention, she still expressed that she wanted to be with Haruki before she died. He fled, she chased, he couldn't fly. Ying Liang stopped letting him escape, and they reunited. Yingliang has changed here, she no longer relies on Haruki's opinion of herself to make choices, but on her own will.
Later, Sakura Liang was hospitalized because of abnormal values, and Haruki came to visit her. This time, she let God decide whether to ask Qing Haruki's heart or not, and played Truth or Dare again, but she lost. Haruki asked her what the meaning of life was, and she said that to live is to connect with people. Haruki also begins to recognize her way of living, thanking her for learning a lot from her. The heroine who felt recognized was also happy.
Ying Liang's hospital stay was extended for another two weeks. In fact, the doctor told him that his life expectancy had been shortened by half, but instead of telling Haruki, he said that half of the summer vacation had passed. Haruki felt that she was trying to be brave again. This time, he will no longer escape the need for the heroine. For the first time, she expressed anxiety and asked Yingliang if she was still alive, and expressed her worries and needs. Yingliang finally felt for the first time that he was needed by Haruki, needed by the person in front of him who didn't need anyone, and he was regarded as an important person even though he was about to die. happy things. Ying Liang also began to think about herself in the eyes of the other party like Haruki. The questions that were not asked before also got answers. Haruki did not call Ying Liang's name because she was afraid that she would become an important person. Ying Liang knew that in Haruki's heart He already has an important position. In the past, Sakura Ryo felt like all ordinary high school students, but now because he is needed by Haruki, he has a unique meaning unique to him. It's like the little prince has his own rose. But it was the first time that I cried so sadly in the middle of the night, just like the cherry blossoms in full bloom, they were about to wither after the arrival of spring.
At this point, Yingliang has completed what she must do before she dies. She is not afraid of Haruki's opinion of herself. She likes Haruki by her own will and gets a response. She has lived for 17 years to wait for this moment. Just like the withered cherry blossoms, the new buds are just waiting for the arrival of spring. Because of this, the author was immediately sent a knife. The beauty of a flower is that she will wither.
Finally, she is about to be discharged from the hospital. On the day of her discharge, the heroine, who was about to leave soon, suffered indiscriminate murder. In the novel, Ying Liang said that ordinary people are not interested in life and death, but in fact everyone may die at any time. This ending also tells us that everyone should actually live towards death and find the meaning of their own life. She knew that she would die at any time, so she also wrote a suicide note to express her feelings for Haruki. Before his death, the "message of wanting to eat your pancreas" sent by the male protagonist was also passed on, and he also wanted to merge with her soul. This corresponds to what Haruki said when you were in the library when you were in the library. If I continue to live, I will be sad and afraid of losing it all when I am alone every night. In the absence of a cure for this disease, dying here is the best outcome.
View more about I Want to Eat Your Pancreas reviews
