The 14-year-old was captured by the big sister and then sat on the eva. I've read this opening many times, but this time I want to take a closer look at what Shinji thought and how he went from resisting to accepting as a pilot.
Well, but I still don't quite understand it. The first time I drove was to avoid Ling Bo's second injury, which was reasonable and could convince myself. Sure enough, as a novice driver, learning while playing is still staggering. On the surface, it looks unsatisfactory, but I feel wronged when Suzuhara beats me at school. It could be worse without me, why should I be hated? In this case, it is better not to do it, because it is less wrong to do less. Seeing these thoughts feels very natural, the words of saving the world sound a bit vague, but when it comes to Shinji, it is thankless, at least for now. When I saw this, I thought if I would give up, I would definitely run away.
After the practice and preparation to meet the fifth angel, Shinji looked confused. He seemed to want to become a tool man, as long as he was driving, in order to cater to "Dad's, Miss Misato, and Lingbo". Because escaping also requires courage (laughs). Going with the flow, that is, listening to the arrangement to participate in the training seems to be easier and more passive. However, Shinji was not set to be a genius of the sky, and he was hit by the fifth angel head-on. Afterwards, Suzuhara and Aida were discovered under the fuselage. I think it gave him a real sense of "protecting others". Although he was sitting in the cockpit, facing the apostles, although it was not very strong, it was better than flesh and blood. Click. Why didn't he escape here, I think it's like this kind of feeling like being brave, or like a little awkwardness. You can't lose in front of people like me. You can get angry with adults and say I can't, but to my peers, he says I won't retreat.
But this little "popularity" doesn't seem to be enough to support him in finding a reason to drive. In the face of Misato's question, "Why don't you listen to my command?", he still said passively, "I won anyway, as long as I drive." Later, he told Miri that driving was for the expectations of others. Miri said, "What about yourself? You can leave if you don't want to drive." When I saw this, I thought it was quite ingenious. I let go of my "expectations" and put the responsibility entirely on Shinji. If you don’t drive, even if you can’t see your father, that’s fine. After all, he values Lingbo more; you don’t have to be hated by classmates, or innocent citizens who are affected; you don’t have to endure the pain of fighting and training, but Lingbo may be very hard . Knowing this, Shinji may have a hard time giving up driving. I couldn't help but wonder, was Misato really giving him this option, or was he using his kindness to make him voluntarily put on shackles? Are you supposed to be an adult?
Facing Ling Bo, who is also a driver, he seems to want to get close, he will take the initiative to talk to her, and he will also say some of his own thoughts ("How does he look like a father", I think), but at this time Ling Bo has not given any specific response. On the train in Shinji's mind, the image of Lingbo appeared, and Shinji's later speech was "Why do I need to live, if I am no longer needed. So I must drive." In other words, does he regard driving as his only way of expressing his value? So isn't his motive still based on the needs of others? Isn't that just internalizing other people's expectations? Isn't this scarier than before? Afterwards, he said that I was very scared, it was too dangerous to be on the front line, and the commanders were safe. Then Miri took him to see the Central Dogma, and said that everyone here is conscious of sacrifice. I'm a little bit confused here. Is it to tell him that we are all facing the same danger, to give him a sense of security, or to say that if you fail, we will all die, which increases the sense of responsibility?
Regardless, Shinji returned to the pilot's seat. Chatting with Limbo before Operation Yashima, seems to have accidentally discovered Limbo's vulnerable side ("I'm driving for everyone's ties. I don't have anything else"). I think this may also arouse his inner desire for protection. The companion who looks strong (?) seems to be lonely (?), which makes people want to accompany him. In addition to the messages from Suzuhara and Aida before the start, this is also the voice that was played repeatedly when Shinji struggled to climb back after the first machine missed the first shot. It may also remind him that someone really needs your protection, and someone I believe you. And the support of his teammate Ling Bo might have made him feel that he was also worthy of protection. In addition to being needed, it may have a little other meaning. (This film) In the final battle, he seems to have received some connections from "people" rather than organizations. How can this not rekindle hope.
I forgot what my impression of Shinji was when I first watched the eva series, but now I don't expect him to be an all-knowing, all-powerful, hot-blooded boy, and of course his positioning is not like that at all. I think he is a 14-year-old boy, and he will be confused, vulnerable, awkward and cute as a 14-year-old. Faced with such a story, what would he think, or what would the main creator think, is the message that these pictures want to convey to me.
Driving an eva, is it someone else's expectation for him, or is it a responsibility that he wants to take on for some purpose, or is it a burden that comes with his parents? do not know. But as described in the preface, everything is too heavy. Listening to Shinji howling in the cockpit several times, I feel that even the trust of others is too heavy.
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