9.17
In order to make her child feel like she chose the moment to come, Martha chose to give birth at home.
In the film, the painful production takes up a quarter of the time. Those painful, screaming, and even somewhat dignified births are a great chapter for her as a mother.
But before he could enjoy the warm touch of the child, the tense first aid of the midwife and the long chirping of the ambulance cut off the excitement and joy brought by the cry coldly.
10.9
Martha went back to work as if everything was back on track as well.
She seems to be dealing with her work calmly; she is calmly traversing the streets, in the supermarket, and in the store; she is even calmly discussing the donation of her daughter's body. Without the role of mother, it seems that it does not affect other life rhythms.
However, she will pay attention to those delicate girls' dresses, she will pull out a smile full of regret when facing the little girl, her body naturally retains the reaction after giving birth...
These details tell that the role of mother has come and has already carved her own traces in life.
Although there are other roles, it will always fill the void left by this loss.
Like a sleeping volcano, it is still churning hot magma.
The mother, who was moved just by hearing her child's heart rate, felt more "calm" at the moment, the more sad it was.
11.7 1.13
The previous calm seemed to be the vacuum state of being alone in a dream. When faced with the inscription on the tombstone, the family's different attitudes towards the matter, the friction and departure between husband and wife, Martha's vacuum safety cover seemed to be like a yoga ball. The little fireworks that burned through the small hole fell apart.
It is also the loss of the child, and the expression of the husband is more obvious. It is undeniable that he is hurt. He also wants to deal with the death of the child in his own way, and because of Martha's unwillingness to compromise, he becomes more and more desperate.
But I always feel that the role of this husband is rambunctious, as if he regards the handling of children's problems as a way for him to grow up and take power, and as if the world is ashamed of him.
Forcing Martha to have sex, cheating on a lawyer relative, getting paid to leave, how could he do such a disgusting act in these moments.
He has his own pain, but he shouldn't feel that he is the only one suffering.
Because of this incident, the conflict between husband and wife has become prominent, and the relationship has become more and more distant.
Martha loves her husband and is considerate of him, otherwise she would not have promised him not to send the child away at the beginning, nor would she have put on her husband's hat at the end to see the child off, giving him a chance to be present.
But the mother's role, though lost, is more alive and powerful in these moments, as if it were the chief who governs the action.
2.5
If Martha is a sleeping volcano, it must be her mother who made her erupt.
She has always had a lot of friction with her mother. She defines her husband as "betrayal" for following her mother's advice. She is tired of facing her sister because of her mother's questioning.
The mother's suggestion that Martha appear in court ignited the fuse.
The mother said she needed to go to court, to get justice for the matter, and to turn the page around.
This is a mother's preaching to her daughter.
Martha felt strongly offended, and she yelled in anger. Because the mother's words, in her opinion, seemed to be just for the mother's own face, as if the loss of her child was just something she felt ashamed of.
The mother's pain is that the mother's daughter does not live up to its expectations, not that she also lost a granddaughter.
Until, the mother told the story of her mother, and said that her heartache was that she could not protect her daughter well and let her become a mother smoothly.
This is a mother's regret for her mother.
After Martha listened, she was silent for a moment. Although she escaped the hand that her mother wanted to touch at the moment, I think at this time she began to get closer to her mother and began to re-examine the role of her mother from the perspective of a mother. At this time, she became more aware of her role of daughter.
This is also the first outbreak of Martha in the movie after losing her child. Maybe it's because the mother's actions really challenge her bottom line, but I feel more that it is a daughter's "request" from her mother, and it is also the beginning of a daughter's reconciliation with her mother because of her motherhood.
3.22
The trial segment is the most touching moment in the entire film, whether it's the joy of seeing the photo or the relief of the original midwife. The most surprising thing is that Martha said that the child smelled like an apple.
The previous ones, which, to me, seemed boring, began to reappear in my mind mixed with some sweet aromas.
No wonder Martha sniffed the apples carefully in front of the fruit shelves in the supermarket.
No wonder Martha researched how to sprout apple seeds,
No wonder she hesitated and planted a lush apple tree instead of burying the child.
No wonder she could forgive the midwife.
I guess, for her, the lovely child who only stayed in the world for a moment, since it can no longer be revived, any repayment obtained in other forms cannot replace her value, not to mention the memories of the child, no matter what Is it not the best hope for her or others, leaving only a sweet fragrance instead of resentment and pain? This is not only the best way for Martha to love her daughter, but also the way for a person who is unwilling to shirk responsibility for pain. She has never lost her most authentic role - herself.
4.3
The loss of children is the footnote of life, and the long river of life will always flow forward.
There are more identities, and more pieces that need to be carefully pieced together.
But just like the sweet smell of apples, being yourself is the most fragrant.
The film moves in sequence, telling the story of a mother who experiences the loss of her various identities following the death of her newborn baby.
Just like wanting the audience to be more immersed in it, there are a lot of slow, real time-lapse shots in the movie.
It will feel really dull at first, but then I calm down and think about it, those times of losing children really need a kind of confused emptiness, a walking corpse-like emptiness.
However, this is probably not the original intention of the film, and it may be really boring to arrange it.
And, really can't figure out why the husband has so many scenes, is that part of the struggle trying to explain?
If it weren't for the trial segment, this movie would be really off the mark.
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