I watched Never Rarely Sometimes Always (" Never , Rarely, Sometimes, Always") after watching PiecesOf AWoman (" Women 's Fragments"), both of which are from a female perspective, with a subtle and silent way of moisturizing things A way to tell women's stories and how women have traveled a secret, lonely, long journey. It is sad to see, but also happy.
He's Got the Power
"Never Rarely Sometimes Always" has a long, tongue-in-cheek title, but it's a simple plot about a 17-year-old Autum who gets pregnant unexpectedly because an abortion in Pennsylvania, where she lives, requires her parents' help. Agreed, and her cousin, Skylar, came to know the story of going with her to New York for an abortion. Director Eliza Hittman called their journey "heroic's journey".
Much of the story in the footage takes place on the road, with Autumn and her cousin walking a long way with a large, bulky suitcase. From Pennsylvania to New York, I took the train and then took the bus to Planned Parenthood in Brooklyn, New York. weeks), and abortions can only be performed at clinics in Manhattan. Carrying heavy suitcases, they struggled up and down the long stairs and took the subway late at night. Because I had no money to stay in a hotel, I spent the night at the subway station and returned to the clinic early the next morning. When they arrived at the Manhattan clinic, the doctor said that because they were 18 weeks pregnant, and in the second trimester, the operation would take two days to complete. At night, because they didn't even have enough money to take the subway, they had to contact the boy who had chatted with them on the bus before and hang out with him. one night......
Autum lives in an environment that is very unfriendly to women. In the film, she plays and sings emotionally on the school stage, and the male classmates call her "slut"; after school, she and her cousin work as a cashier in the supermarket, When reaching for money through the small window, the male boss would kiss their hands disgustingly before giving them the money; her stepfather had no patience with her and called their dog "slut" at home; she and her cousin were late at night On the New York subway, suddenly encountered perverts masturbating directly in front of them. Not to mention the hurdles she faced during the abortion process.
The film did not explain how Autum got pregnant, who the father of the child was, and why it never appeared. The director said in an interview "It's no one's business but hers", the film tells the story only about Autumn, which is her body , has nothing to do with others.
The only scene where the hidden sexual partner is mentioned is when Autum arrives at the Manhattan clinic and the female staff member asks her a few questions before starting the abortion procedure to ensure her mental health. In order to make her less nervous, the staff told her softly that she just had to answer like a multiple-choice question, never, rarely, sometimes or always. Questions range from "In the past year, has your sex partner refused to use a condom?" "Your sex partner has interfered with contraception, or tried to get you pregnant when you don't want to?" "Has your sex partner threatened or intimidated you?" ?” to “Your sexual partner hit you, slapped you, or otherwise inflicted bodily harm on you? Your sexual partner forced sex with you against your will?”
At this time, the film had reached its climax, and Autumn's surging emotions finally broke out. In the process of answering these questions, only Autum's very difficult and painful face and the voice of the staff were on the screen. Without the company of her cousin, the father of the hidden child did not appear, and Autumn, who had been calm and restrained, burst into tears, unable to restrain herself. She was sobbing softly, but she quickly refrained from telling more about the story behind it. In front of the screen, I had already pieced together the cause and effect of the story in my mind, and I finally understood the meaning of the tongue-in-cheek title.
I also followed Autum to answer each question, remembering the song "He's Got the Power" that Autum played and sang on the school stage in the opening credits:
He makes me do the things/I don't want to do/He makes me say the things/I don't want to say/And though I try to beak away/No, I know I can't stop saying I adore him/Can't stop doing things for him/He's got the power of/Power of love over me/And he makes me stay/When I don't want to stay.....
At this time, this song is even more heart-warming, and the unequal relationship between power and rights between men and women has already laid the groundwork from the very beginning. Some men who are not decent will take advantage of women's liking and love for him to push the boat, and even force the other party to do things they don't want to do, but they never think about taking responsibility.
When I watched the movie, I happened to see a post about a paradoxical phenomenon, people avoid talking about sex, and prohibit the publication of condom advertisements. Painless advertisements can be seen everywhere, and some men will also coax girls. , It doesn't matter, the big deal is that I will take you to do a painless abortion. One of the podcasts of "The Imperial Physician is Coming" also mentioned that there are no good sex education courses in China, and it is often when you go to have an abortion that the doctor asks you if you know how to avoid contraception, putting the cart before the horse.
At that time, I also chatted with the people around me that some of my friends got married in a hurry because of unexpected pregnancy. In this regard, whether the decision to marry is coerced by an unintended pregnancy is only known to the parties concerned, and we should not speculate. But it has to be said that domestic sex education courses should not be limited to the fertilization content in biology classes, nor should they be sloppy in just one class. It is also recommended that every man watch this movie and learn more about the huge physical and psychological harm that forcing women to have sex or refusing to use condoms. Women need to go through a painful, lonely and long period of time. journey to heal yourself.
In order to understand the process of legalization of abortion and the gradual introduction of anti-abortion laws in the United States, I found the documentary R eversing Roe ( "Reversing Roe v. Wade") to watch. Roe VS Wade was the first case to legalize abortion in the United States. In 1973, nine justices of the U.S. Supreme Court ruled 7 to 2 that the law prohibiting abortion was unconstitutional. After conservatives tried to overturn Roe v. Wade at one point, a growing number of states introduced bills that added many stricter restrictions on legal abortion. The documentary opens with a pro-abortion woman in the Texas House of Representatives who firmly says we don't need to complicate matters and drag women into the shadow of illegal abortions again, because there's no way they can stop them, abortion It happens all the time, if you want to refuse an abortion, stop the unwanted pregnancy.
take back your body
Director Eliza Hittman mentioned in an interview that the film was inspired by a tragedy that was published in the newspaper, in 2012, a 28-year-old woman in Ireland died because the law did not allow abortion, and some women would choose to do it within a day Travel to and from Ireland and the UK to complete an abortion. Hittman then did a lot of reading, thinking it was the subject she wanted to explore, about the untold journeys women have traveled.
Under the background that abortion has already become an important political issue in the United States, and many states in the United States have passed anti-abortion bills, "Never" is not a movie with strong political appeal. It follows the characters in the film and slowly develops It tells a story and a journey, without hysterical shouts and slogans, but with delicate techniques to quietly and powerfully express women's desires and demands for control over their bodies and their lives.
Autum is a very independent, strong, self-aware girl. When she went to the clinic to find out that she was pregnant and clearly realized that she was not ready to be a mother, she firmly chose to have an abortion. She came back from the clinic and didn't tell anyone, as if declaring her control over her body, she pierced her nose with her own hands in a very primitive way, put on a shiny nose ring, and was violent and decisive.
But Autum is only a 17-year-old girl after all. The first time she went to the clinic to test with a pregnancy test stick, the test was positive. She asked the staff if there was any way to make it negative. It's always been positive. Listening to the baby's heartbeat during the ultrasound, the staff told her it was probably the most beautiful sound you've ever heard. She looked indifferent throughout the whole process. The staff told her that many people want children but can't have children. You can give birth. I will help you contact the adoption agency, and then ask, are you considering abortion? Autumn asks, is abortion an option? The staff should not avoid answering and show her an anti-abortion promotional video first. After she got home, she found that the minor was under 18 weeks pregnant, and legal abortion in Pennsylvania required the consent of at least one parent. She stood in front of the full-length mirror in the room and kept beating herself on the stomach until she was bruised. Took a ton of pills and tried to get an abortion on her own, but it didn't work. Very real, and very sad and powerless.
There is a very intimate detail that impressed me. On the first night of Autumn's abortion operation, taking off her pants on the toilet was a scarlet patch of blood. The doctor said that if there is bleeding or pain, she can call her at any time, but she No, she endured the pain and sat on the toilet with her stomach pressed for a while, then stood up and threw her panties into the trash can with a blank face. I silently squeezed a sweat for her. She must be scared in her heart. After she came out of the toilet, she called her mother's phone, listened to her mother's voice, did not speak, and hung up again. This detail reminds me of "Women's Fragments", after Martha lost her daughter quickly after giving birth, she returned to the company with great sadness, after asking her male colleagues to go back to her office, she went to the toilet, far away She gave a shot of her taking off her panties and diapers. Such powerless moments are known only to them, and only to those with similar female experiences.
Whether it is pregnancy, childbirth, or abortion, it is only undertaken by the female body, which has a deeper connection with the female body and has a deeper impact on the female body. Autumn needs to shoulder all the unforeseen burdens alone, make choices, travel long distances to states where abortion is possible, face soul-to-heart inquiries from staff, anesthesia, surgery, and waking up to the world and herself.
I remembered what the female House of Representatives said emotionally in "Overturning Roe v. Wade", she said that when a woman is pregnant, she gives a part of her body to another person, a big Some people want to go through this beautiful process, but not everyone wants to. We can sit here and think we know everyone, but we don't.
Unlike the United States, which has fierce arguments against and in support of abortion, there are few arguments and restrictions on abortion in China, and abortion cannot be done because of gender selection. On the contrary, China's family planning policy does not prohibit abortion, but restricts births. When the family planning policy is in full swing, it will force abortion because of superbirth. For family planning, the birth control ring (a contraceptive device placed in the uterine cavity) is an important "ring". In a podcast, the gynecologist Lao Liu mentioned that many women never take out the birth control ring after putting it on for the rest of their lives. Some even developed rust inside the body, causing many diseases. Whether it is against abortion, forced childbirth, or forced abortion and forced birth control, all women are forced to hand over the control of women's body and their own life and destiny to the state.
But women are waking up.
Women are taking their bodies back. They work out, take control of their bodies, and get the fit, strong bodies they desire, and then a stable, rich spirit. Women in developed Western countries have gone further. They hate the inconvenience and pain of menstruation, and choose to take contraceptives for a long time to prevent menstruation from coming. They believe that women are not born to suffer, they are not born to endure, and they can control it. own body. Some women began to choose to freeze their eggs to give themselves greater freedom of choice. They also gradually realized that getting married and having children are both options that they can choose, and they can also choose not to choose.
bond between women
In "Never," it's worth mentioning that the bond between Autumn and cousin Skylar is one of the highlights of the entire grayscale film, with one critic writing that it "infuses a moving heroism" into their journey.
When my cousin found out that Autumn was pregnant, she checked the route to New York and bought a ticket. The two of them went out before dawn, and their cousin helped drag the bulky suitcase the whole time. At such a moment, it is extremely valuable to have someone who can tell the secret. What's more valuable is that Skylar provided unconditional support, did not ask the cause and effect of the pregnancy, and did not blame her for being so careless, and did not hurt her twice. The more sophisticated Skylar stuffed Autumn's schoolbag with cash without saying a word, and after the two made up after their quarrel, smeared concealer on Autumn's dark circles. Because they had no money to stay in a hotel, they wiped themselves in the subway bathroom, Autumn was in a down mood, and the cheerful Skylar made her laugh like a French prostitute. After the operation, they were eating bread at the bakery, and Skylar asked her how she was feeling, and Autumn said it wasn't painful, but uncomfortable.
Because they had no money to take the subway, Skylar had to contact the boy who approached her on the bus. The boy took them to eat chips, sing K, drink and bowl. Later, Skylar borrowed money from the boy to take the subway. On the way to withdraw money from the ATM alone, the boy kissed Skylar. Under the camera, she was forced to kiss a strange boy in a perfunctory and painful manner. The most touching thing is that Autumn saw that she hadn't come back for so long, and found her on the way to find her. She went around a pillar and quietly hooked Skylar's little finger with her little finger. They didn't bring it up again afterward, both of them seemed to be in a bad mood, and Skylar took off the rubber band with his long hair, and made Autumn's magic trick to make her happy. The empathy and connection between them flows silently between the hooked pinky fingers and every moment of mutual support.
The director said that she had considered Autumn's boyfriend to accompany her to New York for an abortion, but she chose to be accompanied by a woman because she remembered that she had accompanied her best friend to have an abortion several times during her adolescence. This option is clearly better. Because women have similar experiences, they know more about empathy.
In recent years, people have paid more attention to the friendship between women, and more women's friendship has been seen in film and literature works. Earlier, female friendship was always devalued, thinking that there was no real friendship between women, and it was always mixed with competition or some other factors. To be honest, when I saw that the boys who approached him clearly preferred the more sunny and cheerful Skylar, with almost no Autumn in his eyes, I thought for a moment whether Autumn would be unhappy because Skylar was more popular. But then this stereotyped and narrow-minded idea was quickly dispelled.
Yesterday I listened to a podcast, when the debater Zhan Qingyun talked about the inspiration brought to her by the US justice RBG, the host mentioned that the connection between women often happens between you and people you don't really know , even if you do not belong to the so-called contemporaries. I am reminded of the female congressman who fought to legalize abortion in Overturn Roe v. Wade, the female doctor who quietly provided abortion services to women, and countless other women who fought for women's rights.
Together or alone, they have traveled a long heroic journey.
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