If I watched this movie and TV series before getting married, would I still choose to get married? I am skeptical. After reading it, I am in a state of marriage, and I have calmly accepted the possibility that I may walk out of this marriage at any time. People who have not entered into marriage have unrealistic illusions about marriage. Everyone thinks that their marriage will be a special case, but everyone knows that no one can escape the universality of human nature. In the end, most people's married life can only be fragmented, deceived each other, and what's more, hate each other, what is worse than husband and wife hate each other, choose to leave before the situation is so bad, maybe also. Still a wise choice.
A perfect marriage life is essentially the result of suppressing human nature, and it is only possible to deceive each other and self-deception to the extreme. Loyalty needs to be given voluntarily, it is not an obligation, and it is not a rule. It is a "tendency" of people to like the new and dislike the old. After a few years together, you touch her like your left hand touches your right hand, no more throbbing and heaving. You know all his sex skills well, and they are no longer as fresh and exciting as they used to be. In a tired state of life, the passion for sex is day after day or disappears. Not to mention, marriage makes people lose their ability to listen, and it is difficult for both parties to have real spiritual communication. Just like when Marian and John met again after half a year of separation, when Marian read her diary of reflection on her life, John fell asleep. In the state of marriage where there is a high probability of no passionate sex and no deep spiritual communication, no matter which party makes a small difference, it is possible to fall into a state of spiritual derailment or substantial derailment. At this time, the only way to continue the marriage is to rely on deceive each other. Or one party uses all means to stay away from another person who has fallen in love with or may fall in love during the marriage, telling himself that this is immoral, and it is not allowed by courtesy and honor, and self-deception continues the marriage life without feeling . But a perfect married life is not necessarily a good married life, does a good married life exist?
In the play, Marianne's experience is also used to explore the personal growth of women in marriage. It tells the story of a woman's marital state from the initial ignorance of taking happiness for granted and leaving all negative thoughts behind; to the husband who can't stand the feeling of cheating others but can't suppress the tiredness of the stupid life and tells Marianne that he loves After marrying someone else, Marianne was unwilling and struggling, and even begged her husband not to leave; after six months of separation, she sometimes regained some of her sanity and thought about herself, and sometimes she was still thinking about John, worried that she would not be able to live well after John left her. She still has the responsibility to take care of John; after a longer separation, she chooses to live in reality, no matter how good or bad the reality is, she will face it, and finally find an outlet, find her self and freedom, and decide to divorce her personal journey. The process of going through a divorce is a way for women to grow up. All identities are a kind of self-kidnapping, and only losing is the road to freedom. A woman's freedom is always after the breakdown of love and marriage, and a woman's reason is always based on a tragic marriage and love story. Once a woman is no longer attached to a man, she is free. From this point of view, I am not at all afraid to come out of a marriage that is still bad after all the hard work, but I will more calmly accept this choice that may seem unbelievable to others. Just like Marianne in the play, when she signed the divorce agreement for John, John said when he wanted to save the marriage of the two. "Should I be your mother's replacement? Always nagging that I neglected the family, that I always put my work first. I didn't hear anything else in our first year of marriage. Your only contribution , is to trouble my conscience, you, your mother, your parents. I feel guilty when I go to work. At home, I feel guilty too, and then I should feel guilty for not being a good lover. You are bound by countless demands. I've had enough of the whining, whining, and demands. I'm burdened with pressure I can't resist, from you, your mother, your parents, and this damn society. Thinking of everything I've endured and everything I've finally gotten rid of makes me want to scream. I tell you, I'll never do this again, never again." "I wish I had a chance in my life. , Can you not suppress yourself when you are angry." "In the days of cohabitation, I put too much priority on your feelings." A marriage without self is not a pity.
The self-analysis diary that the heroine read while the hero was dozing made me sleepless all night after watching the drama, thinking about the marriage life I was going through for a long time and thinking about myself.
"I turned around and saw an old photo, taken at school when I was ten, and I seemed to find something I had never seen before. I was surprised, but I must admit, I didn't know myself Who. No, I do what other people say. I only insisted on my own opinions once or twice when I was young, and my mother would punish me severely if my behavior went against tradition. My sisters and I were brought up Lovely kid. I used to be ugly and disembodied. It was a fact and I couldn't escape it. Then I realized that I had been thinking that way and I was only making myself a flatterer. The biggest deception started with Adolescence. Sex was on my mind all the time. But I never told my parents, never mentioned it to anyone. My father wanted me to take his mantle and become a lawyer. I implied to him that I wanted to be a lawyer Actors or other jobs in film and television, but they laughed at me, and since then I've continued to pretend, pretend to be in love with other people. With men, it's always a play. Desperate to please people, I never think about what I want , just thinking about what he wants me to think. It was never selfless, I always thought it was cowardly. Worse, it came from me ignoring who I was. I never lived like the drama. I don't have that talent. But for the first time, I felt emotional. I was eager to know what role I played in life. John and I have always lived in our comfort zone, all things for granted. But it's actually cruel .Every time I think about it, I get more and more scared. Security is a trap and it takes a lot of money. You have to accept the erosion of your personality. Kill children when they are careful to stand their ground. It's often easy to think of. In my case, it's just an injection of a perfectly potent poison. It's guilt. At first with my mother, then with others, and finally with God. For a split second, I Wondering what I would be if I hadn't been brainwashed in the past. I wonder if I'm lost and hopeless. I suspect I've lost the ability to be happy. Or is he just dormant, waiting to be awakened. I wonder what kind of wife and woman I would have been if I had stood my ground. Would John and I still be married in that situation?"
At the end of the film, two people who have entered into a new married life, but because of an accidental encounter, their lives are intertwined. "They can't be separated, and they can't live together. They do all kinds of cruel harm to each other. Only two people in this situation can become so cruel. It's like dancing to death together skillfully. dance."
Even if you have another person by your side, maybe years later, you will still miss the person who hurt you, the person you once loved.
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