Every Friday night is our culinary night, where we follow the recipe together, add our own creativity, and make a whole new dish. While drinking, chopping vegetables; cooking and chatting. Then we take turns sitting in the village and choose a movie to share.
I knew this movie for a long time, it looks like Ang Lee's "The Wedding Banquet". The last time I showed him "The Wedding Banquet", he liked it very much. First, he realized the difference between Chinese and Western cultures. Second, the protagonists of the movie were also a same-sex couple. But because of Alex's illness, I've been afraid to share the film with him, for fear that he would be saddened by the thought of his illness.
Alex has been improving recently. After repeatedly confirming that he can accept movies with this theme, I recommend watching "Don't Tell Her" together this Friday.
To go with the movie, we decided to cook an Asian dish together. There was still a big bottle of coconut milk left at home and no one could drink it, so I decided to use it for Thai food altogether. To stop drinking, we used grape juice instead of wine and had a great first half of the night.
Eat and drink enough, the movie is about to start.
Alex seems to be still in the happy mood of just cooking, running around the room. I reminded him that this movie is relatively literary and needs to be watched calmly. Many details have been missed, and it may be difficult to enter the context of the movie.
But he was still very excited, took a bag of potato chips from the kitchen cabinet and poured it into the basin.
The movie begins with a phone call between the heroine and her grandmother, speaking in Chinese. The heroine's accent means that she grew up in the United States, but it's a pity that Alex can't speak Chinese at all, so he can't feel this information.
While chewing on potato chips, Alex complained, why does he keep speaking Chinese? It's so troublesome to read subtitles!
This paragraph is indeed a bit long, and he has finished all the potato chips in his bowl. He went to the kitchen and poured some more. Later, when the heroine returned to his parents' house and began to speak English, he began to concentrate on watching movies.
He looked surprised: "What? Don't tell her? This, this is not right, what if she has something she wants to do?" to repeat it again.
"It's illegal, at least if the doctor doesn't tell you, it's definitely illegal!" Alex's tone seemed a little angry, complaining about the grandma in the movie.
I wanted to immerse myself in the movie and ignored him. Seeing the second half of the movie, it is true that the heroine's father also said almost the same words, and the movie showed the heroine and the doctor's rivalry. Once again, I sigh that the movie is so real. I really heard the exact same words in the mouth of my foreigner. I feel that he traveled through time and space to give me spoilers after watching the movie!
In the movie, the heroine dragged her suitcase to China alone. Alex was very interested and asked me if this was Wuhan, thinking it was exactly the same as the photo I sent him when I returned to China last time. I said, this is an ordinary residential building, and Chinese cities are similar, so I can't tell which city it is. I searched online and it turned out to be Changchun, which is interesting.
As long as China appears in Western movies, several landmarks in first-tier cities cannot escape, such as ancient tile buildings and red lanterns hanging high. It's like going to France to collect scenery, if you don't take a picture of an iron tower, you're embarrassed to say it's France. And what Alex and I wanted to see more were ordinary people in the streets, and this movie did it.
Although I didn't grow up abroad, but only lived abroad for a few years, I can still relate to several parts of the movie.
When you go back to China, you must not be able to escape from your grandparents who want you to go back to China, and you will burst into tears as you talk; the seven aunts and eight aunts who can’t escape your broken mouths point fingers at you, if it’s a girl, they will criticize your appearance, if it’s a boy Discuss achievements; you can’t escape from strangers who don’t know you well and give you multiple-choice questions. Even if you answer “depending on the situation” or “hard to say”, they still want you to complete this multiple-choice question, but in their hearts There are standard answers.
After returning to China, there are too many bizarre things, such as the bathing city that is resplendent and luxurious like a European palace, the old property market hidden in the corners of the city full of wires and underwear, and the same-sized residential buildings that rise from the ground. Returning to China, getting off the plane is a brand-new airport and efficient subway, leaving the subway station is a dilapidated residential area and lonely old people, and entering the old man’s house is a luxuriously decorated apartment. Here, the old and the new are intertwined, and the fireworks are dazzling. It is the future of the world and always reminds the past.
Alex has never been to China, so he first asked about the hotel's ventilation system, why is there a small flag? Having lived in China for 22 years, I have become accustomed to it, but I have never thought about the reason. Maybe it's to see the wind and wind direction more intuitively. I just thought of a reason, but I can't convince myself.
In the movie, the cousin's wedding is getting closer and closer, and a scene of taking wedding photos directly tells the audience that their wedding is the background wall of the story, and it is not important. Alex is also getting more and more angry, how can such an important event be a child's play? Isn't this both delaying grandma and hurting cousin? "That's a huge lie!" he fumed.
I want to give him another angle, "Look, everyone has worked so hard to act, and the heroine can't bear to pierce this beautiful bubble."
"It's wrong to lie!" He still couldn't agree.
In the movie, there are several rival scenes between the heroine and other people. In fact, they are all discussing. Do you want to tell her? The film objectively shows the views of both sides, allowing the audience to think for themselves. I read a few comments before watching the movie, and many people said that after watching the movie, their views on the matter changed, or they understood each other better. I actually hope from the bottom of my heart that Alex can also stand on the Chinese point of view and understand this absurd decision for him.
Alex and I are a bizarre international couple. Before he met me, he knew almost nothing about China and had no interest in understanding it at all. He doesn't speak Chinese and feels that learning Chinese is a waste of time. But now because of my relationship, I'm starting to have some interest in understanding China. But these interests have nothing to do with China's social history, he just wanted to understand how I think and prepare for dealing with my family in the future. So, to say that he is interested in China, it is better to say that he is interested in me and my family.
Watching the scene where the grandfather was buried, Alex asked me if the Chinese custom was burial. I'm curious how he knows. He explained, "I feel that soil (earth) is very important to Chinese people. At the beginning of a movie we watched last time, it said that people are made of soil. When God blows it, they become people." Shine, like the kind of light a parent discovers that his child is a genius. Although I don't know which movie he's talking about, I know the story he's talking about is that Nuwa created a man.
In the movie, the family burns offerings, has money, and has cell phones. We both looked at each other and burst out laughing. "My God, you really have to change your customs. There are so many cemeteries, everyone burns so many things, and it pollutes the environment!" I rolled his eyes at him and reminded him to respect cultural customs. He still had a serious look on his face, and felt that he did not mean to insult Chinese customs, but now that the environment is so bad, this custom can really be changed.
At the end of the movie, the climax is the wedding. It turns out that grandma has a military background. What war are they talking about? Anti-Japanese War? Resist U.S. Aid Korea? No wonder it's ironic to arrange for my eldest brother to live in Japan!
"Why didn't he take his mother to see a doctor in Japan!" Alex still felt that he had a solution and was unwilling to give up.
Throughout the wedding, everyone was very sad. The elder brother cried as he talked, thanking his mother for his training. The groom, who has been unknown in the whole film, also burst into tears after three rounds of drinking. Everyone is silently dedicating to grandma and enduring this pain individually.
I thought the ending would be that my grandmother actually had insight into everything, just for everyone, to complete the play, just like the mutual sacrifice that often appears in Chinese TV dramas. But this movie is really refreshing and refined. Grandma is the only happy person at the wedding. At least everyone's efforts are worth it.
I asked Alex, look, at least grandma enjoyed a wedding, wouldn't it? Alex still couldn't agree more. "If she knew the situation, she might be able to enjoy it. And she can make better use of the last moments of her life and do what she wants to do most."
"The thing she wants to do most is to see the younger generation reunited and the family is neat and tidy. The old people in China are very simple and don't want to travel around the world or anything." I know what he thinks, we are right The opinions on this topic are very consistent, they all feel that they have the right to know, and they will definitely use the last time to do something that has not been done before.
Alex still questioned my point of view, "She doesn't have to travel the world, but maybe she has other important things to do, like saying goodbye to someone important. You see, when the heroine hugged her grandma, she knew it was It's not fair to say goodbye while grandma is kept in the dark!"
Indeed, one of the strange things about the movie is that the granddaughter loves her grandmother very much, and her granddaughter is in no hurry in the United States.
"Can you admit it? When the background of the discussion on this topic is in China, and the object is an old man, this is the correct answer. When in a society, everyone is doing a certain thing, this is the custom. If you can Accepted by so many people, it justifies it," I continued.
"I think grandma and everyone, to a certain extent, feel that it is not worth continuing to treat, and they are just doing it. Believe me, when people know that life is coming to an end, their thinking will change, and there will be a different survival from ordinary people. Will. We should respect her free will," Alex said. I reminded him that a firm will to survive is a choice, and a passive suicide may also be a choice.
At this point, we begin to discuss the free will of man. Will the will when hormones are out of balance, or thinking in extreme cases, or free will? Press here not table.
As we talked, we found that there was absolutely no need for us to confront each other, we were clearly in the same camp. Putting ourselves in our shoes, Alex and I would make the exact same choice as the heroine, because I understand Chinese culture, and he because he doesn't want to disobey the rest of the family. And if we were both grandmas in the movie, we both wanted to be told directly.
I think of the once free bird in the movie, whether it was an apartment in New York or a hotel in Changchun, all of them flew into the same predicament.
View more about The Farewell reviews
