2021, the second film.
I always inadvertently think of a sentence in the excerpt from the beginning of the book, what is love? It is a whole-hearted devotion, a selfless devotion, a baptism of innocence, a brave effort, a reckless pursuit, and an unstoppable rush. I also ask my husband what love is. It seems that he never answered me seriously, this kind of straight steel man is hopeless.
I sometimes ask myself if I've ever really been in love over the past thirty years or so. The love here is not as limited as pure love. In the eyes of many people, I am a very hard-working person, at least pretending to be a very hard-working person. I love life, my parents, my relatives, and even my colleagues and my patients. At least, on the surface, in fact, maybe, probably, maybe, really.
I have "made" a positive person like this, and I should be very happy.
However, many times, I was so pessimistic. Except for actively studying homework in my student life, and working hard for the future life, it seemed that, for a long time, I didn't love anything anymore. There is no particular favorite thing, no persistent hobby, and it is easy to make some decisions impulsive, but it is difficult to persevere. So, maybe in the final analysis, it's still not enough love.
The hero of "Shining Demeanor" really loves the piano. He is shy and nervous, but he still can't hide his love. Under the pressure of his father's severe and "perverted" pressure, it is difficult to hide his love for music. He is timid and cowardly, but he can resist his father's authority for this love. Life hopes, even if he forgets who he is, he still remembers this love.
How sad and beautiful, sometimes I can't help but yearn for it, of course, it is more admiration. After watching this movie, I impulsively looked for a place where I could learn seal carving. I think this is my latest love, but when I saw the registration fee, this impulse cooled by 99%, which is pitiful.
Another point of the movie, my father's extreme love, maybe because I'm getting older, it seems that I can see many things, I'm no longer that black and white girl, this society is more gray, it's not 100 % and 0, it is not 50%, not necessarily 70% and 30%, it may be any number in between. Looking at the father's love from the perspective of God, he is paranoid, selfish, and vain. Because he has been persecuted, he restricts the freedom of the child with his own ideas. In fact, he also restricts his own freedom. Because of his love, the child discovers his love , but also because of his love, let the child lose his love. In life, the people who hurt us the most are always those who love each other. When I think of that sentence, it is understandable but not forgivable.
I have loved a lot of people, I believe, and have been loved by a lot of people, but, have I really loved or been loved, I don't know.
2021.1.16
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