When I was in college, the foreign teacher once played the movie "The Cramers" in the audiovisual class, which was said to have won multiple Oscars, but I basically didn't understand it, and I still don't have any impression of the plot. Now when I pick it up again, I can't see tears. Now and then, 23 years ago, I never even tasted the taste of love, let alone marriage? I also don't understand another thing: when I was in graduate school, there were often older doctoral students who had already married with us and said that you are really good to be single. Keep asking, and they will tell you that the hand is really stinking. I was unfortunately still an old virgin at the time, and I didn't understand what was good about being single. But as there is a line in the movie "Moving the City" said: Marriage is brutal (Marriage is brutal)! This sentence is far more than the empty promise of living together happily after marriage. Andre in "War and Peace", in order to escape the mediocre married life, went to war. In the history of mankind, there have been endless battles, knowing that they might return to the shroud of horse leather, or even become unclaimed bones by the river, but there have been people going there all the time. For an idealist, what is more terrifying than being cannon fodder is that life is consumed by trivialities. There is a huge difference between people’s pursuits and people’s pursuits. If you accept the differences and don't try to change each other, you can barely survive, otherwise it will be really difficult. I don't know what the leftover women and bachelors are so anxious about. "Running in" may be something that will never be accomplished in a lifetime. I went to the home of an old professor who taught music yesterday. His wife is doing a wedding business at home, and the old professor is very annoying. I don't know how they cooperated together. When I went out, I saw the secret. Their garage is not connected to the house, but in a separate place, opposite the yard. There is a small room by the garage. The lady's client came to see the wedding dress, and the old man went to the house next to the garage to do his own thing, and the two sides did not interfere with each other. Many things in the world, including marriage, would be much simpler without anyone's participation. People, such weird animals, make it possible to cut off the roots of the house, and it is difficult to cut it off. Before the filming of "The Kramers", the director approached Dustin Hoffman, and the film was almost tailor-made for him. But Hoffman was breaking his nerves and making a divorce. Compared with reality, he felt too superficial after reading the script. Many women have no empathy, can't go through each other's situation, and only think of their own unsatisfactory expectations. Unexpectedly, the frustration of marriage is also harmful to men. Hoffman himself was walking in the valley of the shadow of death, and it would be too cruel to himself to take this film. The first time I met with the director, he came down from the hotel room and arrived in the lobby, because he didn't want him to go to the room for a long conversation and was ready to dismiss it in a hurry. As a result, out of consideration for spiritual healing, he took it. Before filming, he and the director lived in a hotel, polished the script for a long time, and then started filming. This is the same thing as quitting smoking, hiding a cigarette without finding a cigarette is also quitting smoking. Some people put cigarettes everywhere. This is also a way of prohibition. Hoffman finally chose to face the various stimuli of the divorce topic, and used filming divorce to deal with the divorce in reality. This film is about the issue of raising children after marriage fails, and it almost involves all aspects of the placement of children in divorce: abandonment, parenthood, contention and return. The film is adapted from the novel "The Cramers", the author is Avery Corman, His most famous works are "The Cramers" and "50" published in 1987. These two works are full of talents, but the author did not do much later. One of the reasons may be that the priorities of the family's occupation and life have not been dealt with properly. His wife is the publisher Judy Corman, who brought Harry Potter to the United States. When she died, she was the vice president of Scholastic. They have two sons, two people who are prosperous in their careers are together, and they have children, so one has to make some sacrifices. In a family, if both husband and wife care about themselves and refuse to compromise for the family, the unlucky ones will be the children and then the whole family. When the original author wrote the book "The Kramers" in the 1970s, the feminist movement had not yet dissipated, and the topic of women going out to pursue themselves was still very new. The heroine, Joanna, is also a woman with a high degree of education. Her husband was so busy with work that she didn't pay enough attention to her, so that she decided to leave her husband and ran away from home. At the beginning of the film is a close-up of Joanna (Meryl Streep), who says goodbye to her child affectionately because she is about to leave. Just looking at it from the facts, a woman is so cruel that even a child can be willing to abandon it. If people make judgments, there is nothing wrong with it. But after three feet into the water, I saw a different scenery again. When watching this film, I hope everyone will dispel any prejudice that this woman is a bastard. Joanna is actually motherless, she loves children, She often goes to the cafe opposite when the child is out of school, looking through the glass from a distance. She realized that she was mentally unsound and belonged to the type that exploded in silence. She has thought about it, and staying at home will not only go crazy, but will also affect her children. What she left was not material. Before she left, she only took away 2,000 yuan from her pre-marital partnership. She wants to find herself. Emotionally, most people may still be more sympathetic to husbands who are both fathers and mothers. Teddy, played by Hoffman, finally understands the reason his wife ran away. He blames himself more and does not let his children resent his mother. In the film, he tells his son that when someone tells you I'm sorry, don't hold your grudge anymore and make him feel uneasy for a long time. This father is an extremely responsible real man. Such qualities are usually hidden, but when the wife ran away, they were all inspired. It is also possible that the love of licking the calf made him reborn. In order to fight for a son, the husband and wife confronted Bo Gongtang. Although the lawyers were merciless, these debates also upset their own five-flavored bottles. The husband and wife really knew each other after the divorce, but it hurt so much that it was impossible to reunite with each other. The movie breaks many prejudices about the roles of husband and wife and parents. Teddy's speech in the court debate was very classic. He said that he can understand that housewives go out to find themselves, and he can also accept them. If society can get rid of this prejudice, why can't it be a better "parent" fallacy if it doesn't break the mother? After the screening of "The Cramers", Teddy's questioning forced the entire society to rethink the role of parents. This even changed the minds of many judges in the marriage court. In divorce cases, young children are often sentenced to their mothers. Fathers only send money to support them. Only obligations are left. There are not many visits, and they cannot fully enjoy the family relationship between father and son. The child was sentenced to the mother in the film, which is a portrayal of the social reality at that time. Now, children may not always be awarded to their mothers. The qualities of "permanence" (including whether a relationship can last for a long time) and "constancy" (including professional stability) mentioned by the male lawyer in the film can affect the judge's more than pure gender differences. judgment. Judges are more concerned about which side is the best for the child to grow up. This change also has credit for this movie. A mother may also go to Qin Muchu and make her child lose her sense of security. When thinking about the failure of marriage, people often think of the reasons for their husbands, such as eating, drinking, and gambling, only care about work and not family. The existence of these people is a fact, but don’t forget, Irresponsible women abound. They put all the responsibility for the frustration of the relationship management on the man, blamed the man for lack of love and attention to himself, etc., and formed too high expectations of the husband, and made no demands on themselves. Women may also be the main reason for relationship failure. It can be said that there are no bad people in marriage. Both husband and wife may be good mothers, good fathers, and it can even be said that everyone is good, but it is common for the two to not get along together. It is hard to establish a distance and suffer the child again, which deduces countless joys and sorrows. At the end of the film, the mother who won the lawsuit took the initiative to return the child to the father considering that the home created by the father is more beneficial to the child. This can be said to be a small reunion in the unreunion. This result is artistically good, but in reality, it is too romantic. Most of the divorce and breakup process is very ugly. The struggle for property and children is full of ugliness. Outsiders can't stand it, but no one can intervene. Any decision is a painful one. A divorce is like an amputation operation. No matter how successful the operation is, the arm is gone, or the leg is gone. This shortcoming is lifelong and cannot be repaired. It can solve some problems, such as finally not having to pay attention to the spouse’s family, but it creates many new problems, such as the parenting of children. These new problems may not be easier to solve than the old ones, and each one is different, so there is no experience to learn from. Marriage is a path of no return, and it really cannot end until death. The only relief may be to become indifferent. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifferent. But once adults start to be indifferent, children may follow along, eventually being cynical and lacking the ability to love. So there is no perfect solution to this matter, no matter what kind of result is harm. In the event of a divorce, it is best to hurry up before having children. There are some who deal with it very well after having children, but after all, they are rare. Knowing that the divorce results are messy, the divorce rate in the United States is still very high, and even half of the marriages end in failure. It is not easy for them to succumb, succumb, and improvise. If the tooth is broken, Chinese dentists will not pull it out as a last resort, because they believe that the tooth is closely related to the appetite and other parts of the body. In addition, parents who suffer from the body's skin should not give it lightly. American dentists are very radical. They tend to let you pull out when they can be pulled out or not, so that the bad teeth will not affect the whole body and the quality of life. This kind of thinking is also reflected in marriage and family. For poor-quality marriages, most of them choose to end and each find a new life. At this time, the placement of the children became the biggest problem in the middle. China has survived economically for many years, and people have paid too much attention to the sense of security brought about by materials. Even now, even if the survival problem is solved, most people still regard materials above all else and are sloppy about other aspects. When it comes to divorce, such as I read a lot of comments about Li Yang's divorce not long ago. The first thing people mentioned in the comments was the division of property. When Americans get divorced, they are more concerned with the mental health of their children. This is more important than anything else in divorce. I think they are right to do so. If you hurt the child's mind, what can you do to win the gold and silver mountains? People live a lifetime, even the happiness and peace of their children can be ignored. What is the difference between living and walking dead? Children after divorce usually blame themselves and suspect that their own mistakes or shortcomings have caused the breakdown of their parents’ marriage. The father played by Hoffman in the film is very responsible and dispels the child's worries in this regard. Teddy's grievances are great, but after all, adults are better able to deal with misfortunes. It is too cruel to allow children to deal with problems that are not commensurate with their minds. Teddy firmly refused to let the child go to court to answer questions. In addition, during the divorce process, the husband and wife are noisy and hate, and the children are very embarrassed. One side is the father and the other is the mother. Who do you want them to choose to stand in line? Some scumbag parents in the process let their children be spies, spy on each other's actions, or let their children serve as messengers, and those who force their children to do such things are really unworthy of being parents or even human beings. It is immoral and sensible to instigate children to hate each other or their family so as to win their love. Children will have a clear day, they will despise the selfishness and smallness of their parents. Be a parent, become a parent, This is a very important responsibility. A person who only cares about himself and only expects others to take care of himself, and does not intend to take care of or care for others, being single is a better choice. Cultivating qualified parents is what a nation should focus on. It is far more important than filial piety. At the same time, marriage is already fragile enough. If the big family cannot take care of the small family and let it develop harmoniously and healthily, this is also the irresponsibility of the elders. One generation passes and one generation comes again, and mankind always has to move forward.
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