In the void of nothingness, those who exist in it cannot distinguish themselves, because there is no conscious contrast. People need to see their own existence through the difference between them and others, and they can see their own existence in the eyes of others. Without the existence of others, it is impossible to distinguish whether they exist or not. The awakening of human self-consciousness and the construction of self-identity largely come from socializing and interacting with others. Conversely, human beings cannot construct themselves without others. Shinji floats in a world where there is nothing and is not bound by anything, obviously absolute freedom, but he can only wander aimlessly, because absolute freedom also reflects no constraints, that is, there are no other people who are also human. Bonding with others is a restraint on the self, but it is also the only bond that confirms whether one exists.
Such a blank world could not bring peace of mind to Shinji, and at this time a line appeared, dividing the originally blank world into heaven and earth. Although the freedom to float was restricted, he felt at ease, and Shinji could control himself Walking on the earth, the meaning of earth restraint is to allow human beings to control their own consciousness.
The existence of others is to allow oneself to build everything except heaven and earth. The self in the eyes of others in the eyes of oneself builds all these things. All this will change with the change of one's own state of mind. It can be a wilderness, a lakeside, or a Morihara, or in other words, all these things only exist in one world, but they are in different positions at different stages of life. And he can be any object in it. If Shinji's self-world is likened to a lake, then he may have been a ship that existed for others, just to please others, to prove his self-worth. Like the one who drove the No. 1 aircraft to seek his father's praise and craved everyone's approval, but he was not the one who really wanted to drive the No. 1 aircraft.
But in a world that breaks through the walls of the heart and eliminates estrangements, Shinji gradually realizes through self-examination that other people's views of himself are only constructing a world of self-consciousness, and the self-shape in this world can not only have One, looking at the problem from different angles often leads to completely different conclusions. He understands that the proof of self-worth is not limited to driving the first aircraft (as a manned tool ship), but can also be any Things, like being a fish in a lake, an eagle in the wilderness, seeking self-worth in freedom. Only by finding your own form can you be alone and maintain yourself in any environment. We need others from the outside world to act as a mirror to look at ourselves to establish a self-concept, but relying too much on the evaluation of others will only lead to the failure to find the true self.
Shinji's lack of love in his childhood created his character of low self-esteem and seeking recognition and love, which was then worsened by despair over and over again. His father's compliments were only for his synchronicity in driving eva, and Misato's concern was only for herself. Redemption, the only Asuka who can bring him empathy hates him, and Nagisa Kaoru, who really likes her, is the last straw that crushes Shinji's craving for love. For the first time, he has someone he can talk to, but He is an apostle who is inseparable from the human position, and his fate makes him more and more convinced that he is not worthy of being loved.
The disgust and rejection from others eroded Shinji's heart all the time, causing him to constantly avoid contact with others, thinking that he was a weak representative who only brought trouble to others. It turned out that it was more just because of his own inferiority that distorted the evaluation of the outside world. Shinji once accepted the indoctrination of other people's subjective cognition without hesitation, and the cognition instilled by others will subjectively feel that the mood in rainy days should be gloomy. Disgust may also be just a whimper. To sum it up in the words of Ikari Gendo: "You're just not used to being liked." Fortunately, in the end, Shinji completed his self-completion and reached a reconciliation with himself.
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