A person, if she just wants to be herself, then she is not wrong.
Does each of us know from birth who we should be? Can we live in this world with our hearts? Can we stand strong in the face of the pain of this world?
What is the difference between men and women? Is the genitals different? Is the level of estrogen and androgen in the body different? Or is the secretion of hormones different?
Can we choose to be ourselves? What do we want of ourselves?
In 2018, a Belgian film "Girl" released at the Cannes Film Festival stunned the audience and brought the topic of transgenderness to the screen again. The film begins with being transgender, but it's not just transgender. It contains complex emotional forbearance. Like a huge jar full of pain and joy. In fact, the topic of transgender people has existed since ancient Greece.
movie inspiration
The film "Girl" is based on a true story, and director Lucas Stunt was shocked by the story in 2009 when he saw in the newspaper that a boy wanted to be a ballet dancer. A 15-year-old boy actually has the courage to confront the world's perceptions, change his characteristics to become a ballet dancer, not hide himself, and dare to look directly at himself.
The casting of the movie was actually very difficult, but when Victor appeared in the casting room, the director decided that the movie could only be played by him. As soon as the film came out, Victor showed Lara's sensitivity, forbearance, persistence and tenderness to the fullest.
trueself
The beginning of the film is in a calm camera language, the doctor's encouragement, the father's support, the school's trial permission, the sweaty ballet practice, Lara's soft words, gentle and peaceful. All this is full of peace and hope.
Until the teacher told him to close his eyes in class and asked if there were any girls in the class who felt uncomfortable with Lara changing clothes with them in the locker room. At that moment, Lara's eyes revealed panic and doubt.
We've all experienced this feeling, when your secret is spoken out without hesitation, the balance you've carefully maintained is thrown, and there's nothing you can do but panic.
Every day, he had to wrap his genitals tightly with tape, and he had to work several times to catch up with others, and he had to be cautiously afraid of being discovered by others. But when my father asked him how he was, he would always just say, I'm fine. Whispered and smiled silently.
He makes people feel distressed. He just wants to be a girl, not for others, not for being a role model, not for the so-called glory, he just wants to be himself.
The turning point in Lara's mind was when other girls noticed his difference and asked him why he didn't bathe with them, asking him to show his genitals. Because of the difference, he was excluded. He did nothing wrong, did not hurt anyone, he just wanted to be himself, to be his true self. It's also that he meets the boy he likes, but he can only smile, kiss, block, and escape. He was afraid, had low self-esteem, but could not do anything, so he asked to increase the hormonal medicine. It was his outlet, the only outlet he could find for his predicament, which he desperately wanted to change.
But the reality could not conform to people's wishes, his health was getting worse and worse, the doctor told him not to be under pressure, let him wait, wait for his body to be strong, and wait for the right time to come.
But the final blow to him was not being able to perform on stage, he did so much. After working hard for so long, he could only burst into tears in the audience. He was not reconciled, but he was powerless. Many times, it was the last straw that broke the camel's back. Many people looked no different from usual, but their hearts became a wasteland. Nothing happens without a reason, and all outbreaks are a slow accumulation of pain.
He was trapped, and the reality he once thought was within his grasp gradually lost its outline.
He puts on a beautiful dress, smiles tenderly, and accepts the care of his relatives. You think that nothing has happened to him, but his heart has already turned upside down and changed his appearance.
At the beginning, although he had difficulties in learning ballet and the danger of surgery, he had hope at that time, and his happiness was sincere.
The next day, when he was alone at home, he cut off his genitals with scissors, screaming torn from his heart. Maybe he thought about the consequences, but the oppression of reality and the broken heart made him unable to find an exit, so he decided to end it this way.
Either live or die, you must never live like this again. I think that's what he was thinking at that moment.
At the end of the film, Lara is walking down the bright sidewalk, and I think he's finally done it, he's a girl. So confident, elegant, like rebirth.
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