I watched Dapeng's "The Beneficiary" in the theater a few weeks ago, and my friends and I also lamented that it seems that I haven't seen a comedy on the screen for a while; and today, after watching "Don't Tell Her", I also sighed how I can connect now. It's rare to see family films like this.
The movie "Don't Tell Her" released this Friday, adapted from the family story of the Chinese female director Wang Ziyi, starring Asian actress Awkwafina, presents us with a Western perspective in just 98 minutes. See the visual feast of Chinese families. The story tells the story of a Chinese family's grandmother who was diagnosed with cancer, but the family chose to hide her illness, and let all the family go home to see her for the last time under the guise of a wedding. But Billie, who grew up in New York, disagreed with the "white lie" and believed her grandmother had a right to know about her condition. As a result, a cultural conflict between China and the West, a family comedy seeking roots, was staged.
First of all, let me talk about the overall feeling of the film to me, delicate and too delicate. The sophistication lies in the director's very detailed control of the screen, lines, character movements, etc., which makes the whole film full of logic and does not easily waste any elements; and it is this sophistication that gives people a sense of discomfort, as if Life should be orchestrated so perfectly that there is no room for error. Furthermore, I think that the director is actually looking at Chinese-style family and Chinese-style society with his own thinking mode, rather than feeling them in them, so the points about these aspects may be a little superficial, and the point is limited.
But after integrating my own feelings, I still think this is a work worthy of praise. In particular, the relationships of several groups of characters in the film intuitively reveal the current family conflicts, the problem of children going abroad, the conflict between Chinese and Western cultural differences, and so on.
The first group, Billie and grandma.
Billie was sent to live with her grandmother at the age of two. She moved to New York with her parents at the age of six. At the age of 30, she failed to apply for a postgraduate position. Grandma, a native northern woman, is optimistic and cheerful, and has her own way of dealing with life and problems mode. The relationship between this group of characters most directly shows the strong affection between the two. Although the distance spans the Pacific Ocean, the two still call each other from time to time to greet each other.
But behind this intimacy is that both of them are getting what they want from each other. Billie cried with her mother before the wedding, "You know, one of some fond memories of my childhood was those summers at my grandma's house where there was a garden...and then we moved to America and everything was different... ..." Those summers were Billie's childhood, and her grandmother was a symbol of her childhood. Maybe when she was not having a good time in the United States, she would choose to call her grandmother to talk about the most common concerns and listen to her. The warmest voice from the bottom of my heart, using childhood to heal my life. As for grandma, she actually doesn't know how Billie is doing in America, but she is willing to use such beautiful words as independent, beautiful, and returning from the United States to describe Billie. I think, such Billie may be exactly the same. What she yearns for most in her life, and what she longs for may be what she lacks in her heart, so she will teach Billie to loudly "ha" out of the poisonous gas in her body, exercise more, keep healthy, and find a man who can take care of her, be happy and safe live a lifetime.
At the beginning of the film, the two appear, one is quiet and the other is noisy, but they both deliberately conceal their true living conditions between words, and white lies are actually everywhere.
The second group, Billie and her parents.
Billie's father, Haiyan, a translator who immigrated to the United States for 25 years, has been Westernized from the joke about death told at his dinner table. The most interesting thing about Bi Li and her father is that the father acted as her daughter's translator in China, helping her translate Chinese, explain Chinese culture, etc. He did not interfere too much in Bi Li's life, and our ordinary father In the same way, the biggest concern is whether the daughter has enough money to spend. Compared with Billie and her mother, equality and respect are more reflected between the two.
Billie's mother, one of the most dynamic characters in the film, has a relationship with Billie that actually presents a sick family relationship. When the mother heard Billy's cry, she said the words "We did what we think you should do", which revealed the most powerful and obvious mother-daughter relationship between control and control. In fact, this sentence is very common in China. Before a child is 18 years old, parents do not need to consult with their children when making decisions for their children. They have the right to control everything. And it is this kind of morbid thinking that has created so many psychological shadows for children, so many social news and social tragedies. When her mother complained about her grandmother, she said that grandma is a person who likes to command others, and only in this way can she find a sense of existence. On the other hand, isn't the mother's attitude towards Billy the same? So even if Billie is far away in the United States, she still cannot escape such a fate. In fact, the children have long seen through the lies carefully prepared by parents for their children.
The third group, Billie with strangers, relatives and friends.
The conversation between Billy and the hotel staff, "Which do you think is better between China and the United States? You should prefer life in the United States!"
Billy's conversation with the doctor, "I've always wanted to go to New York, a very beautiful city."
Two people who have never been to New York, their minds are full of assumptions about New York. Because Billie is from the United States, she is willing to look at people more, and make a few more similarities.
The several conversations between Billy and her uncle Haibin are not only the peak of the difference in thinking between China and the West, but also a contest between tradition and modernity. For example, at the dinner table, when my uncle heard that "the two children are not very good in Chinese", he would quickly ask Haohao to speak a few words of Chinese to listen to him, just like asking us to perform our talents in front of adults when we were young; When Billy asked her father why he was smoking, he immediately threw out a sentence, "Don't worry about it, he is your father". The most interesting thing is that on the way to take Billy to the hotel, my uncle told Billie not to tell the truth to her grandmother. I bought it from the doctor?", but he replied, "I bought it online." I think at this moment, compared with my grandmother's illness, my uncle is more afraid that someone will challenge his authority and question his decision. For the eldest son in the family, where will the face be.
"Westerners talk about individuals, while Chinese people talk about families and groups." In fact, cultural differences are nothing, and each culture has its own brilliance; the scary thing is that we use these cultural differences as propositions and deliberate conflicts. , in order to achieve their goals, which is chilling. "White lies" are nothing, what matters is what is revealed behind the lie. Everyone has what they want.
The article ends here. Now comes the very emotional part of me, I miss my grandmother so much, but I never say that miss. My grandfather died before I was born, and my grandmother lived alone for so many years. I also have a cousin who is shy and does not talk much. Every time at the dinner table and during the conversation, my grandmother always prefers me a little more. She always puts my favorite dishes in front of my bowl. I didn't go home during the National Day holiday this year. When my grandmother asked me, I always said that there was something wrong and I couldn't go back, so she could only say one thing, take good care of herself. In fact, I know exactly what the elderly want, a simple phone call, a brief door-to-door visit, but I don't want to do anything. So after watching the movie, I blamed myself very much. I suddenly didn't know how to deal with my relationship with my grandmother. I always asked for it from her, but I didn't know what to give to her. If one day she would be like the grandma in the movie. I'm sick, what will I do?
What will I do, my mother said it's better to start with the simplest. Tomorrow, call her old man.
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