(1) Talk about the heroine
The original family of the heroine:
From the movie, it can be inferred that the female protagonist and her younger brother have not been in a good family material situation since childhood, and the relationship between their parents and their children is also very bad. Therefore, the heroine did not grow up in a loving environment, and the heroine hopes to make up for it when she is an adult. From the submissive family role after the heroine, I feel that the heroine may have been harshly treated or even abused for a long time in her childhood.
The heroine's life choices:
The heroine has had rebellious experiences and dreams (it can be seen from the scene where the heroine met an old man by chance in a cafe when she was pregnant, this design actually has a lot of information... Please make up for her growth experience by yourself), But she also has a strong need for a stable life, so she chose to marry early and have children early (having multiple children may make her feel loved too - the heroine equates "being needed" with "being loved" - the reason behind can speak).
The heroine's family roles and character causes:
In a marriage relationship, she is trying her best to be a good wife in the eyes of her husband (needs), and in a sexual relationship, she is a very pleasing partner, for example, she is very sensitive to her husband's sexual needs and will not refuse according to her own needs. In the parent-child relationship, she tries her best to be a good mother (what her son needs), even with a big belly, she still worries about her second son and endures problems...
Just writing this, I feel tired and aggrieved... However, our heroine often refuses the care and help of others! For example, she made excuses to refuse her brother's suggestion to hire a night-time nanny to lighten her burden, for example, she deliberately emphasized her husband's homework for one of the children in front of others... From these, it can be speculated that her husband may have also proposed to share the responsibility of family life, but repeatedly rejected by her. why? Because the heroine is a person who is extremely lacking in love, and has high self-esteem and low self-confidence. This has created a strong appearance, she will take care of everything, take care of everything, and satisfy everything, but her heart consumes a lot, unable to take good care of her own needs, and is often on the verge of collapse. There are no clues in the movie, but since I can't understand the setting of the heroine's neither divorce nor collapse, I can only make up my own mind, the heroine must have a masochistic tendency.
(2) Talk about the male protagonist
Basic personality:
The income is obviously not rich, and it seems that it can barely meet the family expenses of the two children (the second son has been eating hormone chicken, and has no money to hire a teacher for the second son alone, and no money to hire a night-time nanny for the third daughter), but he still lives on. Doesn't seem like a very thoughtful and planned person.
Family roles:
The wife had postpartum depression after giving birth to the second child, and after giving birth to the third child, she was actually manic (with hallucinations - the night-time nanny was a product she fantasized about to support her mentally from collapse and depression), and the heroine may have a bidirectional disorder. However, he seems to be ignorant of the physical and psychological family pressures his wife bears during multiple pregnancies and parenting children, and has always lacked a sense of responsibility for new life and new responsibilities after family structure changes.
What is even more terrifying is that he has no awareness of the physical and mental state of his wife who lives with him every day (the principal and doctors can see at a glance that his wife is exhausted and irritable under tremendous pressure), and he has no doubts about his wife's manic symptoms, but he does not go into detail. Communication, in this case, I can play games every night to relax and sleep peacefully (this is not a husband and father, it is a giant baby). When I was about to lose my wife, I began to realize the seriousness of the problem (this sudden change and idealized ending really scared me...). As a husband and father, being so slow, with very limited sense of responsibility and ability, with high self-esteem (hating his wife's rich brother), yet being able to build such a loving family relationship (often very emotionally connected couples feel empathy for each other's state of affairs) , at least not particularly dull), the authenticity of these love scenes is highly questionable.
The bloody ending:
If it weren't for Theron's acting and the first half, I could only give two stars. When I saw the play, I even had a feeling: as long as the heroine and the "night nanny" are enough, there is love and fun, and the existence of the hero is only annoying... This film goes from realism at the beginning to magicism in the middle , and then go to the ending fairy tale world...step by step toward the "altar"...ORZ
(3) A little advice 1. For you who want to be a good parent
It is recommended that all parents who want to be responsible for themselves, their children and their families study Developmental Psychology before giving birth. Learn to be a qualified intimate partner before you consider parenting.
2. For you who want to be a good father
Modern psychology emphasizes the importance of the mother-infant relationship, which actually includes: from the beginning of the gestation period, the father's support to the mother and the baby from material support to real companionship! ! ! Only when the relationship between husband and wife and parent-child relationship is well established can children grow more healthy and strong psychologically.
3. To you as a mother
Women should never feel that having children is something that they can undertake all by themselves. What we are talking about is that scientific parenting is not the moral standard of women in feudal society. It is definitely not conducive to creating a good parent-child relationship for fathers and children. Studies have shown that fathers' participation from an early age is beneficial to children's physical and mental health and all-round development.
Moreover, you have just given birth to a child, and you are facing a major physical and mental adjustment, and you need to recover and be taken care of. Caring for yourself is a very priority. Except for breastfeeding, everything that an adult can do, as long as the father is around, can let him do it. For children, no one is born a good mother or father. After the family structure changes, everyone needs to reposition themselves. This is to give each other the opportunity to grow.
4. Thoughts on Love
Bare mouth sweet is not love, rich is not. They can often feel each other's needs, can often get each other's responses, often help each other, miss each other, and feel distressed, that is true love.
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