Jenny's family has neglected her parents. In her films, she communicates pitifully with her parents. Her mother gave her stupid rules, and that was the only bond between them. Her family often had quarrels over trivial matters, and her grandmother was making her fear life. Without the correction of love, this fear turned into a cowardly but not completely cowardly. Because of the stupid rules, she couldn't have the experience of being respected. In this way, a life injury is inevitable.
Jenny does she understand that's not right. When her coach poured out her love to her, when her coach asked her to take off her clothes, when her coach took her step by step, let her go deeper into darkness. Why, why didn't Jenny stop herself from continuing to fall into the endless darkness in the first place. Because she cant. She just cant. This is a perverted rebellion against her parents, an incomprehensible confusion about herself, a madness for lack of love. She is obsessed with love, obsessed with the interesting two, obsessed with expecting others to save her meaningless life. So she knew that it was darkness, and she couldn't refuse, because the other way was endless loneliness.
For Jenny, she consciously made herself suffer. She thought that her loneliness (painful but silent) so far had made her numb and indifferent and unable to feel the joy of life. That is the panic and neglect from the family. She needs a visible pain to make herself truly valued and understood, and her heart is reborn in the second sense in the real pain (violation). Pain is better than loneliness.
The loneliness of youth is a monster or a demon. Just like the pact you signed with Satan, your soul is forever imprisoned. If this loneliness is a little cold and fearless, it will not be so numb, she will turn loneliness into cold blades and pierce the boundless emptiness. But the threats from the family made her look forward to the kindness of people's hearts. This is the worst. She couldn't stand loneliness, and she couldn't have the courage to break through the bondage, so the only thing left was that she was constantly in the gray emptiness and numbness, unable to perceive the existence of love.
Jenny understands that her confrontation with the coach is to face her desolate heart, her playful life, and her boring and unlovable nature. She can't come out, her wounds have been there, because of her stupid decisions when she was young. After all, it was just a weird smile that fate gave her.
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