Text / Dong Xiaolin
On January 12, the 24th day of its release, the film "Ip Man 4" broke the 1 billion mark at the box office, becoming the highest-grossing kung fu movie in Chinese film history.
I know that many friends went to the cinema for the "last martial arts movie"; some people commented that this is an "action movie", and the storyline is as thin as "Master Luo's fist" and is vulnerable.
But none of that is our focus today. After watching the movie, the things that come to my mind from time to time are:
If in reality, we encounter exclusion and bullying, should we "endure" or "fight"?
So, in addition to forbearance and fighting, is there a better way to punish the "villain" and protect yourself?
01 If you can't bear it, you don't need to bear it anymore!
In my opinion, "Ip Man 4" not only pays tribute to "ten years of kung fu", but also focuses on the principle of "no way out, must break out" .
Act 1: Children's "forbearance".
Not long after the movie started, Ye Zheng (Ye Wen's youngest son) was robbed of comics by his classmates at school. He, who came from a family of martial arts, pressed the opponent to the ground and beat him, and was finally expelled by the school on the grounds that it was "not the first fight".
It's obviously the other party who grabbed things first, shouldn't they take back their own things?
It's a pity that the grandmaster in the play did not have a theory with the principal, but led Ye Zheng home silently, trying to find another school that would accept him.
"Since he is so active, it may be more suitable for him to send him to study abroad." (God knows, where does this logic come from...)
So, Master Ye went to the United States and met Wan Zonghua, the president of the Chinese Federation, and Master Wan.
So, will President Wan, who is the representative of the local Chinese, get better?
Wan Ruonan (President Wan's daughter) was bullied by classmates at school. Not only was he beaten by the group, but even a hair was cut by the other party. Seeing the embarrassed daughter, the president slapped him: "I hate lying when others lie!"
My dear, it was your own daughter who was beaten, okay?
"You want me to endure, how can I bear it? What is the use of my martial arts training?" Finally, from Ruonan's mouth, I heard the voice of the "second generation of forbearance".
But President Wan's explanation is: All Americans have to drive the Chinese back to China, so no matter what happens, we can only bear it! (Where does this fairy logic come from?)
Therefore, the value of the existence of the All-China Federation is left to perform a few martial arts shows at the Mid-Autumn Festival Gala.
The second act: the "forbearance" of the masters.
As the saying goes, righteous people must be righteous first. The masters in the movie are naturally not "double-standard" characters.
They let the children knock out their teeth and swallow them in their stomachs, and they endured even more aggrieved.
In order to find a school for his son, Master Ip Man, who has been subjected to all kinds of scorn, contempt, bullying, and provocation, is always restrained; President Wan, who was arrested by the Immigration Bureau on "unnecessary" charges, followed the other party without any resistance; ...
Forbearance is the main theme of the first half of the movie.
At the same time, it also laid the emotional foundation for "fighting back" for the "burning" in the second half.
Act Three: Deceiving Too Much! I can't bear it anymore!
Seeing his daughter kneeling and begging in front of the foreigner, Wan Zonghua finally got angry: "Ruo Nan, get up! You can't kneel down for him!"
"Child, you are right. When you can't bear it, you don't have to bear it anymore."
Under the coercion of the US Immigration Service and the Marine Corps, President Wan and Master Ye understood:
It is not the children who dare to resist, but the self who always believes in "a knife on the head of forbearance" who has always made mistakes!
As a result, the masters embarked on the competition stage of "no rules until they fall".
The result was naturally that Master Ye Wen, who represented justice, turned the tide and the good guys defeated the bad guys.
I have to say that these few martial arts fights are really exciting, and the blood is boiling, and a strong sense of national pride arises spontaneously!
But I was excited, and after calming down, I thought of a few questions:
- What kind of performance would the "good people" and "bad people" in the film look like if they were put in reality?
- If it was me and encountered similar exclusion and bullying, would I also "endure" it?
- If you "can't bear" and you don't have Master Ye's punching skills (even if you have, use it with caution), how should you deal with it?
In a word, in the face of bullies, is there a more advanced method than "forbearance and fighting" to let them know that it hurts!
02 Don't think you don't need it
You might say: what bullying? I haven't encountered one since I was a kid. Even if you meet an unfriendly person, just ignore him. Does it need to rise to the level of "you or I live"?
If you are still relatively unfamiliar with the term "workplace bullying", I think there is a high probability that you cannot escape the following three situations:
First of all, you are lucky enough to be one of the few who escaped bullying.
You know, authoritative data shows that 83% of European employees say they have been "bullyed in the workplace" mentally and physically. Among them, the proportion of the Netherlands has reached 93%. In the United States, which pays attention to "democracy and fairness", this figure is also as high as 65%.
Although the percentage of Asian employees is the lowest at 45%. But who knows, among those 55%, how many people, like Ye Wen and Master Wan, follow the philosophy of "forbearance"?
Second, you've been in the workplace for so long that you're numb to everything. There is no sense of happiness, no pain, and no sense of crisis. When encountering something, it will only respond mechanically: it doesn't matter what bullying is not bullying.
Or, you're experiencing bullying and you just don't realize it.
After all, in a human society, it is quite "common" to help leaders buy a cup of coffee, clean up, perform a show at a party, and be punished for drinking. However, in the "Prohibition of Workplace Bullying Law" promulgated by South Korea last year, the behaviors just mentioned are all defined as workplace bullying!
Therefore, no matter what state you are in now, it is very necessary to learn a correct and effective "anti-bullying" posture.
You can not, but you must not!
03 Three ways to distinguish "true bullying"
Before talking about the countermeasures, I would like to clarify a concept with you: what exactly is "workplace bullying"?
--Didn't you just say it? All that was unfair, unfriendly, and uncomfortable to me was workplace bullying.
uh... best not to think so.
The so-called "bullying" must have the element of "bullying". If you feel that the other party is bullying you because the other party occasionally forgets to inform you of something, or walks without seeing you, it is too "glass-hearted".
The workplace is no better than the family. No one is born to be nice to another. It is normal for people to be warm and cold. What's more, some people are not sociable by nature, and they are very cold to people and things. If you regard the normal interactions between colleagues as "bullying", I am afraid that in the end you will get nothing but a bunch of enemies.
Interpersonal relationship expert Xiong Taihang once said: workplace bullying must meet 3 conditions-
- occurs at work;
- hostile;
- There are clearly unfriendly words and deeds.
These three, words and deeds and time are good judgments. But when it comes to "one day, Xiao Li and I were facing each other and ignored me", was the other party hostile, or did he really not see it?
It's hard to say.
So below, I will give you 3 more small ways to see the true face of "bullying".
The first trick is to find an opportunity to praise each other once.
"Little Li, I heard that you have become an advanced player recently, congratulations."
"Don't say that, it's not because the teachers have guided me well, give me a chance to improve."
If the other party responds very positively, it is estimated that there is no hostility.
Because bullies don't turn around just because of a nice word from you.
The second trick is to make a friendly suggestion.
"Xiao Li, I received your email. It's good overall. Can you write the main content of the email in the header next time? If I see it, I will give it priority."
"Well, what you said is, I will pay attention next time."
If the other party accepts it readily, there is probably no hostility.
But if the other party refuses directly, or violates the situation, it's hard to say.
The third trick is to ask the other party for help.
"Xiao Li, you see I have something to do at home this afternoon, can you watch it for me?"
"Okay, okay, go ahead and find me anytime if you need it."
If the other person responds to your compliments, accepts your advice, and helps you dutifully, then he is 99% not your enemy.
But if after these three moves, you find that the enemy's hostility is very strong, you must fight back.
04 Learn to fight back from Master Ye
In the movie, Ip Man asks the United States to find a school for his children, but the other party refuses to say, "Chinese people are all fugitives" before he sees him; Master Wan forbears at all times, but he is still arrested for no reason; the karate coach goes directly to Chinatown to provoke him openly.
We might as well take a look at the judgment criteria just now. These are all non-adulterated bullying behaviors, so we must respond.
But in the movie, it is solved with fists. In reality, force is not necessarily easy to use. Especially when the opponent is doing bad things in the dark, even if you want to punch, you don't know where to punch.
so what should I do now? Well, let's put aside martial arts first and look at Master Ye's coping strategies.
First of all, emotional stability, humility but not humility, sensitive but not angry.
Did you notice that, from beginning to end, Ye Wen's expression didn't change much.
Whether it is facing a strong enemy or President Wan who refuses to write a letter of recommendation.
Calm language and steady manners make people feel "very reliable" naturally.
So, no matter what kind of words and actions the other party has, don't mess with yourself first.
Then, analyze calmly, seize the loopholes, and defeat the opponent with evidence.
Competition is not about being harder than someone's fist. It is to see who can quickly catch the opponent's weakness, and then kill them with one blow.
Therefore, in the workplace, you need to be able to calm down, analyze the other party's routines, discover the other party's loopholes, and then use irrefutable data and materials to expose them.
Speaking of which, I think of the two interns I once brought, a man and a woman. When they joined the company, I made it clear to them that the company had regulations that employees in the same department could not fall in love. As a result, just when the internship period for the two of them was about to expire and only one of them could stay, the girl came to me and said that the man was after her. So, I found a boy.
"I heard you had a girlfriend recently?"
"Ah, you even know this~ Hehe, we talked about one."
"Our department doesn't allow employees to fall in love, you know? Now that you admit it, have you started looking for a new owner?"
"What did you say? My girlfriend doesn't belong to our company."
"XX told me that you are pursuing her."
"Nothing! Leader, don't believe her words. She spreads my rumors just to stay."
"Uh...you two, it's hard to say...how do you prove it?"
"Well, after get off work tomorrow, I will ask my girlfriend to come to the company to find me, and it will be clear."
As a result, the next day, there was a girl waiting for him at the door of the company, and the two walked away intimately.
Rumors are self-defeating.
If the intern at that time heard that someone framed him, he would be excited: why don't you believe me, but only her? Well, you all think I have a problem, then I have a problem! Or, in addition to defending himself, he did not show actual evidence to prove himself, and I am afraid that he will not be able to achieve a "jedi counterattack".
Finally, learn a few tricks of "yin", an eye for an eye.
When fighting against the ultimate boss, Ye Wen, who was seriously ill, began to struggle and retreated step by step.
Seeing that he was about to fall on the stage just like President Wan. At this time, Ye Wen suddenly used several "ruthless tricks": kicking the crotch, poking the eye, and indexing (hitting the throat), and took down the American officer in one fell swoop!
Some people commented that Ye Wen won the battle.
But I want to say, in the face of an unscrupulous bully, why can't he use his own tricks to defeat him?
In the recent hit "Elite Lawyer", I actually saw the same scene.
Knowing that the other party is playing a rogue, but suffering from the fact that he has no real evidence, Luo Bin, a gold medal lawyer, will lay the groundwork first, and then suddenly tell the other party: I have obtained your recording in the car/secret information in your notebook... and beat him Unprepared!
Because the other party knows that he is wrong, he is likely to admit that the non-existent evidence is true without asking for evidence, thus supporting Luo Bin's claim.
As the saying goes: The heart of harming others is indispensable, and the heart of preventing others is indispensable.
Mastering the opponent's "harmful tricks" is to prevent and protect yourself at a critical moment.
Well, we're almost done talking about today's content.
Regarding workplace bullying, I would like to ask you to remember at least two things:
First, emotions are your cornerstone;
Second, strength is your weapon.
In addition, we talked about: 3 tricks to judge bullying, 3 steps to deal with bullying, I hope it can inspire you.
It is said that "Ip Man 4" will be postponed until after the Spring Festival. If you haven't watched it yet, it is strongly recommended to go to the theater to experience the style of a generation of masters who uphold the righteousness of the nation.
"Forbearance" cannot solve any problem, and "fight" also requires corresponding judgment and skills.
I wish you all the best in the new year, and you can't use the content in today's article at all!
Read growth from movies, learn success from entertainment, and use psychology to analyze the rules of survival in the workplace. I am a Fortune 500 executive, and I am a dedicated person who reads 300+ a year. I will "grow my heart" with you. If you like it, you may like it, leave a comment, and forward it to your friend Ou~
View more about Ip Man 4: The Finale reviews
