The story of the movie "Don't Tell Her" (The Farewell) is very simple. The old man has cancer. Everyone hides it and uses the name of holding a wedding to let everyone abroad go home to see their grandma for the last time. During this period, he grew up in the United States. Granddaughter Billi has been hesitant to tell Grandma the truth.
In the eyes of the American granddaughter, concealing the illness from close relatives, which is commonplace in Chinese families, is undoubtedly a great challenge to the individualism she believes in. Growing up in the United States, she believes that individuals have complete knowledge and control over their own lives, just like the dialogue between her and her mother, completely equal and direct; she firmly believes that people should do the right thing and speaks out The father should not smoke, but the uncle said that the child should not control the parents.
From the perspective of the ABC child returning to China, the director unfolded the picture of Chinese social customs one by one. From the taxi drivers who grabbed customers on the street after entering the country and the neat and tidy buildings, to the relatives’ baby fights at the dinner table, the custom of wedding banquets, and even the experience of massage, cupping, etc., she began to understand this mysterious Chinese society little by little, and gradually understood her uncle. The fact that "Western life is individual, but Eastern life is collective" is a slightly heavy fact.
In the end, the diagnosis report issued by the hospital was revised by her and her aunt, and the concealment from her grandmother seemed logical. After all, when the family asked her about her own situation, didn't she have a certain degree of avoidance and lightness?
The film was originally conceived from the director's personal experience. She had written the story three years ago. The shooting of this film is obviously a re-examination of the hometown in memory. I think that when she was growing up, she must have also been confused and puzzled by the differences in certain concepts between China and the United States. How to deal with this kind of cultural tear is a difficult problem that traverses the immigrant family. Therefore, the same It was the directors of ABC who chose to make a film to answer these questions.
Therefore, in this film, the audience can see people discussing the pursuit of money, the attitude of children towards their parents, the reasons for studying abroad, and the differences between Chinese and American cultures are highlighted everywhere; those who may seem strange but real abroad Chinese-style issues, such as grandma's worries about Billi's single life, taking into account the doctor's consultation when filming the film, and not allowing grandsons to speak out about the taboo of marrying after only three months of acquaintance with the bride, etc., are all created. Contradictions and conflicts.
Grandma and the family of three children, to a large extent, are the epitome of the times. They compete in secret, speak from their respective positions, and confront each other, but they cannot tell right from wrong. Because people's choices in different eras are all self-knowledge, and there may be endless bitterness behind what they say on the scene.
In this film, it is not the above-mentioned conflicting scenes that are amazing, but the casual and seemingly redundant scenes, such as when grandma is on the phone, she sees Grandpa Li accidentally spilling water on the ground and hurriedly slaps the back of the ear Grandpa Li reminded him; for example, Billi watched the New York subway whizzing by, and the camera immediately cut to the aunt who was standing blankly in front of the domestic subway; or grandma asked Billi to exercise together in the morning, and showed her fitness slap skills, etc. The rough and textured shots of real life show the triviality and mediocrity of life at a glance, and have no direct effect on the plot, but they are what makes this film more full and real.
Other shots, such as the bird that appeared inexplicably at the beginning, and the overhead shot of the hotel attendant carrying luggage upstairs, added a touch of light to the film, making it a little lighter, especially the cry in New York and the periwinkle tree at the end. The flock of birds that startled at the same time made people feel a little poetic.
The most successful character in the film is undoubtedly the grandmother, whose love for her grandchildren and adherence to family rules is vividly displayed in her. Her orderly arrangements for family affairs, her emphasis on the wedding menu, and her request for everyone to obey the worship etiquette and the order to bow three times in front of her grandfather's tomb, thoroughly played a typical Chinese old lady who was both loving and strict. The background of the veteran soldier in his career is clearly explained through a photo and a few words posted on the wall.
The director put a lot of effort into Billi's ABC's inner transformation process. At first, she asked her to ask questions continuously, then she had conversations with her family and relatives, and participated in various activities such as weddings and massages. She gradually realized that everything in the world is not all black and white. The slow-motion footage of her running wildly on the street to retrieve the medical records, completing the transformation of her role. Actor Awkwafina has recently become a rising star with another film "Crazy Rich Asians" that reflects the similar theme of Chinese overseas and the Hollywood commercial film "Hiding the Sky: The Beauty Plan". The hunchback portrays a tormented granddaughter very vividly, especially the forbearance burst of playing the piano violently.
Billi's parents are typical symbols of the elite. In their time, it took extraordinary effort to travel from Northeast China to the United States. The eldest brother's family who went to Japan also worked hard to get ahead. These hardships must have been hard work. He gave up a lot of things, but the director didn't explain too much, just let the eldest brother feel at the wedding. As for the sister-in-law who stayed in China, she decided early to let her son go abroad sooner or later, so this film touched another thorny question intentionally or unintentionally: if China is so good, why do you still go abroad to study and live without hesitation? This question was raised at the dinner table, people looked at each other in silence, the question was always hanging in the air and no one answered.
No answer is the true face of life. In the world of middle-aged people, there is no right or wrong opinion, only stakes. This is also what I think the film lacks. The director is eager to throw out the argument that the Chinese and American cultures are opposed, and deliberately sets up a lot of plots to clarify the theme. Even the waiter who meets the hotel for the first time will care about your relationship between the two countries. For example, the discussion at the dinner table about whether the United States is good or China is good is a little stereotyped. What my mother told at the dinner table about providing the key to the church to let Billi freely enter and play the piano has an obvious sense of superiority, but in my opinion, it is not. Some overexertion.
The Chinese and American cultures are not completely different. What the film cannot reveal or oppose, it is enough to objectively show it. The subtle influence of traditional culture and values is actually infiltrating into the details of people's lives, all kinds of words and deeds. Culture is only a difference, but there is no distinction between high and low. At the beginning, Billi emphasized that the elderly have the full right to know about the disease, while the father chose to hide it and bear the consequences that followed. Who is more responsible? Which one is correct?
Obviously, this problem is also unsolved, and a movie may not be able to support this kind of in-depth discussion. Therefore, at the end, the director chose to let Billi return to New York to continue his life, walking alone on the streets and shouting loudly.
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