Text | Late summer evening sunny day ZMH
35-year-old Joey Mangano is a single mother. She has worked as a waitress, airline ticket reservation, etc., just to support a large family, including 3 children, parents, stepmother, half-sister. mother's sister. She was busy with both housework and work, but she could only live a life beyond her means.
In 1990, Joey, who was good at inventing since childhood, invented a mop that can be wrung out automatically, and personally went on the TV shopping station to sell it, and successfully sold 18,000 in 20 minutes. Joey is thus called the "Queen of Mops", and it is precisely with this "magic mop" that Joey has transformed from a grassroots into a billionaire.
Still, Joey didn't stop inventing. At present, the total sales of "Magic Mop" has reached 5 million, and Joey also has more than 100 invention patents.
In 2010, Joey Mangano was named one of the "10 Most Creative Businesswomen in the World" by the famous American business magazine Fast Company.
David O. Russell directed the film "Joey the Fight", which was adapted from the real experience of Joey Mangano. The film was released in 2015 and won the 88th Academy Award and the No. 1 Academy Award. Double nomination for the 73rd Golden Globe Awards.
Many people who see this film for the first time will think that the film mainly tells the inspirational story of how the heroine Joey successfully counterattacked from a grassroots with her own efforts. However, what few people have noticed is how Joey handled the complex and intertwined family relationships, and it was the right choices she made in the face of complex and bizarre family relationships that laid a solid foundation for later success. .
1. An unfortunate life begins with a pair of bad parents
In the film, Joey showed his extraordinary manufacturing talent as a child.
In high school she invented the multifunctional dog collar. Originally, I expected my mother to help me apply for a patent, but my mother didn't take it seriously at all, and made an excuse for myself "I don't know how to apply for a patent". The invention was then registered by a company that made a fortune.
However, this is not the worst. The worst thing is that Joey's parents used their mediocrity, ignorance and selfishness to completely drag down Joey's life.
Joey's father, Rudy, ran a garage, and he was a playboy himself. After divorcing Joey's mother, he threw himself into his next relationship non-stop. At the beginning of the film, Rudy is abandoned by his mistress and comes to join Joey.
Joey's mother, Terry, is Rudy's second wife, and since the two divorced, Terry has locked herself in her room and watched soap operas incessantly. No matter what happened, she ignored it and indulged in TV dramas all day. Even if the water pipe burst in the room, yogurt was spilled on the floor, or even wanted to drink water, she would only call Joey to do it.
Parents themselves are mediocre and have a bad life. But they also have to tie their own daughter's life together and drag it down.
2. A happy life dragged down by a toxic native family
In the movie, Joey as a child not only has strong hands-on ability, but also has excellent academic performance. By the time she graduated from high school, she was not only the most valedictorian (the brightest student in the school), but also successfully admitted to Boston University.
The original Joey could go to college and have his own life. But her parents' poor marriage forced her to stay and help her with the divorce. Joey, who missed the opportunity to go to college, also began a nightmare-like tragic life.
She first went to work as an accountant in her father's garage, but was tricked by her half-sister. She went to work as a conductor for an airline but was tragically laid off.
During the day, Joey needs to work to earn money to support his family, and when he comes back at night, he has to do all the housework and solve all kinds of troubles caused by family members. Joey, who was so tired, could only lie on the bed and tell himself, and I took a nap.
Even after Joey, through his own efforts, invented a mop that can be wringed out automatically. Her career gradually improved, but her unreliable father found an unprofessional lawyer for her and gave her wrong opinions, which made Joey's business a fatal blow.
What's chilling is that after something went wrong, the father did not reflect on himself, but blamed Joey side-by-side, believing that he made Joey mistakenly think that he could surpass himself. He also quickly called a notary, forcing Joey to file for bankruptcy to protect the loss of his new girlfriend's investment further.
Joey is talented and has a business acumen. If her parents pay more attention to training, it is entirely possible for her to become famous at a young age and live a happy life of her own. However, she is unfortunate. She is in an unsound family of origin. The bad parents not only do nothing, but also attack and accuse her. She personally ruined her originally beautiful life with her own ignorance, shortsightedness and selfishness, making her busy all day long. Unable to find a sense of self-identity, falling under the heavy burden of life and unable to extricate oneself.
3. Facing the toxic native family, have the courage to say goodbye to the past and embrace a new life
At the end of the film, Joey succeeded in starting a business and became a respected female entrepreneur, not only because of her ingenuity, but also because she had the courage to face the toxic family of origin after realizing that her parents were dragging her down.
Joey's parents were emotionally incompatible, and his father lived in his girlfriend's house. He would only come back when he was abandoned by his girlfriend. And her mother indulged herself in TV dramas all day because of her failed marriage. They were nominally Joey's parents, but in reality they didn't take on the parental responsibilities they deserved. Instead, Joey has been taking care of them.
In "Family of Origin", such parents are classified as "incompetent parents," a toxic family model. Toxic family patterns can subtly affect a child's character and adult life.
In the face of the character flaws caused by such incompetent parents, "Original Family" points out that we can reduce the influence of our parents on us by sorting out the entanglement with our parents, self-definition, and venting our inner anger, and use actions to communicate with our past self. Say goodbye and start a new way of life.
In fact, Joey is embracing his new life through these methods.
First of all, clarify the entanglement with your parents, have the courage to say no to unreasonable requests from your parents, and no longer always put your parents’ needs first. Joey interviewed his father and asked him to move out of his home and stop letting his parents' never-ending quarrel affect his life.
Second, take a stand. After Joey started his own business, his father always wanted to interfere in Joey's decision-making. At this time, she publicly stated her position to her father, clearly told him her bottom line, and prevented her from crossing the line and causing her endless trouble.
Next, express anger appropriately and clarify the impact of other people's negative emotions. No matter how dissatisfied Joey was in the early stage, she would not express her anger and kept enduring it. After the failure of her first venture, she finally had the courage to express her inner anger in the face of her father's groundless accusations, so as to end the negative influence her father had always imposed on her.
The movie "Joey of Struggle" is an inspirational film of grassroots counterattack, but through this film, what we see is far more than a simple inspirational story. It is more like the director borrowing Joey's inspirational life story to take us to explore how to face the imperfect family of origin.
No one can choose their own parents, but every parent's words and deeds will have a profound impact on their children. Some people spend their entire lives living in the shadow of an unsound family of origin and dare not face the harm and negative influence their parents bring to them. They long for a new life, but do not have the courage to say goodbye to the past.
Through the story of Joey's struggle, the film allows us to feel the power of the grass-roots rise, and also see how wide the life can be after being brave to face the unsound family of origin and carefully clarifying the entangled relationship with parents. Take action to bid farewell to the past and take the initiative to embrace a new life. May everyone born in an unsound family of origin be as brave as Joey and welcome their own future.
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