Analysis from Nic's point of view

Annette 2022-03-21 09:02:25

I really feel that Nic is very tired and very tired. He is careful with everyone and tries his best to play the image of a good son and a good brother. Giving a lot, craving little, but never being satisfied. He really did nothing wrong, but he kept apologizing. He has been growing up in a torn family environment since he was a child, running around to adapt and please the two families and satisfy the demands of his father and mother. I have been giving and begging at an age when I should be cared for and given love. If love is quantitative, I think Nic was depleted in childhood. At my father's house, looking at the happy growth environment of Jasper and Daisy's model, and comparing what I have experienced before, how could I not compare, not be jealous, not be sad? Dad learned the lessons of educating his children from him to take care of his other children who were only half blood related to Nic. At this time, what else could Nic be other than a guinea pig? How sad would Nic be if he saw Jasper and Daisy make similar mistakes as he did when he was a kid, when he got a roar or not understanding, and they got a softer, more sensible way of teaching? I didn't relapse for more than 400 days on my mother's side, but it relapsed in just a few days at my father's house. Who can't see how depressed it is? When I come back, I have to play a good brother and accompany Jasper and Daisy; my room is treated as a utility room (this is really the most obvious manifestation that he has been marginalized at his father's house) and he can only endure it silently. He doesn't have his own home, he only has his father's house and his mother's house, and he is always a guest. For his parents' mistakes, Nic will have to pay for it with his whole life, and he will also be misunderstood and isolated. When his father gave up on him for his current family, and even let him go home that night before talking about the next step, it really made people feel speechless. He wants to pursue and protect his new life, what about Nic? His new life was built on Nic's sacrifice. Forcing Nic to accept his life, and then asking him to play the role of a good son and brother, did not give him the right to choose at all. It is undeniable that his father loves Nic very much, but it is a conditional love.

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Extended Reading

Beautiful Boy quotes

  • David Sheff: There are moments that I look at him, this kid that I raised, who I thought I knew inside and out, and I wonder who he is. He's been doing all sorts of drugs, but he's addicted to crystal meth, which seems, uh, to be the worst of all of them. And I guess I'm here because I just want to know all that I can about all of it. Know your enemies, right? So, my two big questions are, what is it doing to him, and what can I do to help him?

  • Nic Sheff: One day, I tried methamphetamine... Yeah. That felt good... and I thought, "This is what's been missing." I felt complete. Today's a good day. Yeah, I've been chasing that high ever since. No matter... how much meth... or whatever else I can find to shoot up into my body... I do, it's never enough. And I went to a couple of rehabs, I detoxed, they would talk about disease, sure, but... it never clicked. Until one day I woke up in a hospital and someone asked me, "What's your problem?" And I said, "I'm an alcoholic and an addict." And he said..."No, that's how you've been treating your problem."I know now I need to find a way to fill this big black hole in me. Anyway, so I'm fourteen months clean. I have a job at a rehab. It's fulfilling to help other people get sober. I have a sponsor, Spencer. He shows me how great my life can be sober. And, um, I still have family. My mom's been amazing. My dad's been amazing, too. I want them to be proud of me.