This article originated from the WeChat public account "Watching Movies with Heart"
Watch movies with your heart, watch movies with psychology, and heal yourself from other people's stories. Welcome to pay attention.
Brad's Midlife Crisis is an American film released in 2017. Unlike most movies, in this film, the protagonist's thoughts are all expressed through narration or pictures, and the audience can clearly "see" how Brad "thinks". It's more of a cognitive crisis than a midlife crisis.
Playground or battlefield? It all depends on what you think.
Brad, in his forties, has his dream job at a nonprofit, a contented wife, and a college- and possibly Harvard-going son.
He lost sleep the night before sending his son to college. Lying in bed, I thought of what the former employee said, to make money and engage in charity, instead of letting others donate money. Then I took my mobile phone and browsed the "circle of friends" in the United States at night, and saw the achievements of my classmates in the past. Although I knew that it was stupid to compare with others, I finally came to the conclusion, "I think I have failed." .
"Cognition can also be called the information processing process. When we receive information from the outside world through various channels, the mind will process the information. After interpretation, the information will be converted into internal psychological activities and affect the external environment. the behavior of.
Brad lay in bed thinking about what he saw (outside information), after his interpretation (mind processing), he felt that he had failed (inner mental activity), and he made some differences in the subsequent journey on everyday things. (external behavior). In conclusion, the whole film tells the story of how Brad's cognition affects mood and behavior.
After an unbalanced comparison, Brad considered himself a failure. Regardless of whether the employee leaves or the development of his classmates, he feels that he is a failure (cognition) if he does not make a lot of money. After feeling like he has failed, he becomes depressed and distracted (emotional). What unusual behavior did he do after that? Ask your wife how much her parents’ house is worth, and whether the old man will keep the house for himself after he dies; at the airport, he has to change his plane ticket to first-class, because it was bought from a discount website, but it didn’t work; he took his son when boarding the plane. VIP channel, was told that only gold and platinum cards are available, and his silver card is not good. These are all things that he hadn't paid attention to before, otherwise his wife wouldn't be inexplicably asked, and it's impossible for him with a flying silver card to not know what kind of tickets can be changed to first class and VIP channel. Because the above actions were unsuccessful, which in turn strengthened his previous conclusion that he was a failure. What he saw and felt in his eyes darkened. The old man, the cry of the baby who became especially harsh, and the homeless and entertainers who followed on the road. Watching the flight attendant close the curtains between the first class and the economy class, he began to imagine that a classmate working in the White House was enjoying champagne in the first class, another classmate was flying on his own private jet... Then he swiped on his mobile phone. Brush the circle of friends. After reading it, I came to a conclusion: For his classmates, this world is not a battlefield, but a playground.
In the second half of the film, Brad gradually learns the truth, it turns out that the world is not just a playground for his classmates, business suffers, children get sick... classmates who work in the White House, that The classmates who once made his heartache and jealousy were a bit unbearable in the eyes of his son's friend and an excellent Harvard girl. After hearing this information, he was mentally balanced. Before he was going to have dinner with that classmate, his son said sorry to Brad that he was going to dinner with the nasty people because of his schooling. Brad said lightly, no, I like him, all old school. Without any change in the objective facts, Brad felt that he had failed, and he felt that he was okay. These transformations depend entirely on his cognition, that is, how he processes and interprets the information he receives. Is this world a battlefield or a playground? It all depends on what you think.
The world is your own, nothing to do with others.
The achievements of his classmates made Brad feel like a failure, with nothing to show for his work, and absentmindedly accompany his son on his college journey. When eating with my son, I also comforted my son not to be frightened by the names of universities such as Yale and Harvard, and other universities are also very good. When he learned that his son was likely to go to Harvard, he suddenly cheered. (Cognition: my son went to Harvard, which shortened or even leveled the distance between him and those classmates. The following are emotions and behaviors)
He feels that it is worthwhile to raise such an excellent child. He called his wife to thank him; back at the hotel, he even played with his son, as he did when he was young.
So, when my son said that he remembered the wrong time for the interview, he went to quarrel with the people at the school, saying that his son was excellent and that they had come all the way, so they must arrange an interview. Make my son feel ashamed.
So, when his son got an interview again, he was giddy with joy. He imagined his son getting into Harvard, buying islands for him and his wife, and getting on the cover of magazines like his classmates.
When he suddenly thought that his son might ridicule him on TV, that his son was studying music, he might not make a lot of money, and he might not be able to feed himself like a street performer, he asked his son: If you only want to be in a band Do I need a Harvard diploma to play music? Tuition is not cheap... my son was asked inexplicably.
When his son saw the Harvard professor he admired, Brad asked his son how he felt. The son said that the professor was a little uncool, as if he was trying to please himself. Brad immediately denied his son's feelings, don't define what's cool now, define it again in 30 years, blablabla...
Brad's thoughts and actions above were all his own, and he didn't even know that his son was going to get into Harvard until he felt that he had failed. After feeling like a failure, his son's admission to Harvard became crucial to him, the only place he could compare to his accomplished classmates. So he tried his best to help his son find acquaintances to arrange interviews, and wanted to change his son's opinion of the professor...
Brad's every thought and every behavior about his son's admission to Harvard has something to do with himself, not his son.
This is the case with many things in life. When we cannot understand what others think of us and give us advice, it is very likely that it has something to do with the other party and nothing to do with ourselves.
The world is your own, nothing to do with others. This sentence can also be said from another angle, the world belongs to others and has nothing to do with oneself.
Finding the real stage and audience The son's friend, like Brad, majored in politics in college, and the girl asked Brad what advice he could give her. Brad said, go and make the big bucks. Then I shared with the girl how I felt neglected and disrespected... When others pour out their inner feelings, all they want to hear is comfort and approval. He wanted to learn from this fine Harvard girl, this girl who was dismissive of her accomplished classmates. But the result is, the girl said, you are so happy, you are fifty years old, and you still feel that the world revolves around you... don't make me feel bad for you, trust me, I promise you, you have enough.
At the end of the film, Brad sits in the hotel. The son may have noticed that he was a little different these two days, and asked him if he had a nervous breakdown. 'I worry about people looking at me and thinking I'm a failure,' he said. The son shared his feelings with Brad. Brad was embarrassed by the fact that he was clamoring for the school to schedule the interview. "I've been thinking, if I go to this school, people in the school will always remember this, and I'll never get over this hurdle," he said. But you know, no one will remember because everyone only thinks about themselves. The only person thinking about you is me, so if anyone's opinion is something you need to care about, it's mine.
Brad said yes? So what do you think? The son thought about it and said, I love you. Everyone has a stage in this world, but there are big and small. For ordinary people, the audience to watch our performance is limited, and we need to pay attention to the audience who are usually the most important people in our lives. Find your own stage and put on a good show for a real audience. Brad's midlife crisis was nothing more than a sudden cognitive crisis. How we process the information we get determines how we see the world. Welcome to follow
The article has been modified on 2019-11-03
WeChat scan and follow the public account
View more about Brad's Status reviews
