Author / Bai Miaomiao
Edit / Ruixue
Starter / Women in New Media
Introduction: The story of the intimate relationship of three women of different ages ushered in the finale today. Is it the same as you thought? The secret to the popularity of "Deadly Woman" lies not only in its delicate theatrical arrangements and visual presentation, but also in its exposure to the unavoidable and difficult to recognize pitfalls of intimacy. From trying to maintain a marriage relationship to taking the initiative to separate, we have experienced wonderful and difficult growth with the women in the show.
one
Betrayal, deceitful, cunning, these are my first impressions watching Deadly Woman. Three generations, three families, and different eras write family stories that are also full of lies, and the murder cycle like a haunted house makes the audience full of viewing expectations.
Like many female stories, the first episode of "Deadly Woman" throws out the most common and unforgivable problem in a man's marriage: cheating - from female third parties in the 1960s to the 1980s Gay men, to contemporary "open marriage interlopers". Although the circumstances of the three heroines are different, they face the same problem of betrayal, and they all share a certain degree of weakness - the old-fashioned housewives are reluctant to face the fact that their husbands have little communication with them; She never thinks about it, even if she hasn't had sex for many years; the Pioneer Woman never thinks about the balance between herself and her husband.
Changes From the second episode, the three heroines are aware of their own problems and begin to think about the efforts they can make in the marriage relationship. Housewives in the 1960s began to change the way they dress and have sex. In the 1980s, socialites cut the mess and started underground romances with young boys. Contemporary female lawyers compromised their girlfriends to join a threesome and accepted her as a family. The tone and development of the story is always upward, each woman is full of courage to face the problem, but their husband is unrepentant and angry.
With the development of the story, it seems that the three marriages are getting better and better—the husband in the 1960s changed his mind, the husband and wife in the 1980s had fun and supported each other, and the contemporary three-person family gets along happily and makes life easier for life. Brings stimulation and balance.
However, behind the development of the story of the positive curve, there are problems that have become more and more serious over time. The third party makes the heroines devastated - as the two-person tango at the beginning of the third episode said: when two-person tango becomes three-person tango, passion can turn into jealousy, and love can turn into violence. The third person in all three stories adds a destabilizing factor to the story: the fertile female third person who may win her husband's favor again at any time; the jealous, frivolous young lover; gun buddy. They have the elements that the heroine wants: the housewife of the 1960s fell in love with the rebellion, independence and ego of a third party, the ladies of the 1980s fell in love with the flesh, passion and possessiveness of a young lover; contemporary female lawyers I fell in love with the virtuous, considerate and understanding of the friend.
So where is the problem? All three female protagonists have what they want: control of the overall situation, financial power over men, dominance in the family, and a third person who brings balance to the marriage appears in their lives. Why is marriage still not happy?
Among them, the problems of the male protagonists are the first and unforgivable, followed by the troubles and disturbances caused by the third parties, so do the female protagonists themselves have "problems"? I think, perhaps the "problem" is that the three female protagonists have never jumped out of the circle of marriage. In their hearts, marriage is a compulsory course in life, not an optional behavior that is the same as the type of work. And in marriage, they place their hopes and expectations more on their partners and others than on themselves.
No matter how much a housewife changes, she hopes to gain her husband's change of heart instead of finding the value of self-survival. She said to her neighbor in episode seven: "What if he doesn't choose me?"
The celebrity and her husband maintain their superficial appearance, just to avoid losing their dignity in the eyes of others, so that everything develops according to what she considers a "perfect marriage": a decent marriage and a decent divorce.
When the female lawyer learned of her husband's relapse, she was not thinking of divorce to stop the loss, but hoped that she could help her husband get rid of drugs and restore the family to the past.
Like other systems, the marriage system has loopholes and imperfections. Reforms to the marriage system (such as open marriage) are not as effective as adjusting one's own views on marriage. If housewives don’t erase their edges and corners because of marriage, celebrities don’t think marriage is a piece of the puzzle of their perfect life, female lawyers can realize that it is both parties who need to be responsible and paid in marriage, and the story is going in a different direction. .
Marriage is a choice in life, not a must. Some people are good at handling marriage, and some people don't even need to complete marriage. Maybe marriage can give you support and even self-realization, but marriage can also make you anxious, disappointed, and hopeless. And striving to find the value of self-survival is far more valuable than maintaining a marriage in name only.
Fortunately, at the end of the story, the three women realized this, and they finally found their self-worth through their constant choices and achieved a "happy" ending.
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In addition to the heroine herself, "Deadly Woman" also has many other female supporting roles, some of which help the heroine a lot in the story and become like "sisters". The former neighbor Sheila, the third party and the later neighbor Mary are to housewives, the former plastic sisters and the latter gay husbands are to celebrities, and the sisters are to lawyers.
When the housewife Ann encountered the problem of cheating, the neighbor Sheila did not choose to gossip about it to the neighbors, but chose to stand by her side and give her the help she could. She teaches Ann her secret recipe for saving marriage, pretends to be Rob's wife, and gives Ann her own advice when she thinks it's not right. Her presence gave the bewildered Ann a boost of heart. She conveyed to her that marriage is not about making herself a slave to each other, and made her have the courage to solve problems. April conveyed the concept of independence and dreams to Ann, and the commonality and fetters of the two also enabled them to support each other even when the dust settled.
Naomi first appeared as a plastic sister flower, but she chose to tell the celebrity Simone about her husband's affair at the right time, and she was able to bluntly expose Simone's inappropriate behavior, allowing Simone to step out of his own thinking circle and become a smart woman. Consider the feelings of others. It's a pity that there was an irreconcilable conflict between the two, and the two sisters also broke up. For the later Simone, her husband Karl was more like her sister and confidant, helping her out. The tacit understanding and bond between the two that span life and death is touching and is one of the biggest highlights of this work.
Lawyer Taylor's sister sings harmoniously but is sober and rational. They remind Taylor of the consequences of introducing wolves into the house in their own way, and become the most solid support for Taylor when he has nowhere to go.
In "Deadly Woman," the sisterhood runs through three threads, and it may have some hypocrisy, and it may judge the situation - but the important thing is that the heroines need it to temporarily avoid confronting the marriage: listen to others and re-establish yourself The dividing line with marriage that has been broken, look at the problem more calmly.
There is no doubt that marriage is a relatively closed system, which separates the people in it from others to some extent. It seems that it is difficult for married women to communicate with their friends without any barriers and worries as they did when they were unmarried. The sense of boundary is suddenly formed with a marriage letter, and the "closest person" has changed from a friend to a partner. But at the same time, friends have also become an important bridge for married women to communicate with the outside world. With the existence of friendship, they can temporarily free themselves from the marriage that has formed a fixed pattern, and look at the marriage from the perspective of a third person.
In addition, friendship is also a key factor for married women to recognize their self-worth. In the process of comprehensive married life, many women had to give up on themselves - the housewife Ann never played the piano again, never skating again, nor did she disregard her husband's face and speak according to her own mind. The appearance of the third party, April, made her find the joy of life again. They went to cocktail parties together, went ice skating and went shopping together. April told Ann about her dream of being a singer. With the communication between the two, Ann gradually regained her self-love, and she awakened in the marriage - she disregarded her husband's request and immersed herself in the piano. At that moment, the fingertips knocked out not only a beautiful note, but also a cry of self-liberation - much more beautiful than the note itself.
At the end of the story, Ann and April took their children to New York to pursue their dreams, which is believed to be a moving and shocking scene for many audiences. The relationship between a woman and a woman is not that simple, but it is not that difficult, is it?
Marriage makes us at a loss, we have to take care of the conflicts in each other's lives, take care of children, take care of parents and friends on both sides, and the focus of life gradually shifts to maintaining the family. It is the existence of friendship that allows us to breathe, to find the self that we have neglected, and to find fun outside of marriage. It is friendship that allows us to put aside the identities that marriage has given us—a wife, a mother—to become a lovely, lively, energetic and beautiful woman.
Of course, I hope you have a good friend like Sheila, not a bad friend like Lamar who sends her best friend to a threesome because of her curiosity and desire. (laugh)
Superb shooting techniques, sophisticated fashion taste, ups and downs stories and the theme of seeking new from the old have made "Deadly Woman" a good reputation.
It does not fall into the trap of mainstream narrative. It is not a simple story of a big heroine who beats a third party, leaves a scumbag, and gains self-worth. It shows the traps that are difficult to detect and avoid in intimate relationships in all aspects.
Women may have all kinds of problems, lying, arrogant, and controlling, but in intimate relationships, they do not passively wait for rescue, but face the problem, always running on the road of "fighting fire", even if they come up with There are many flaws in his tricks, but this kind of tenacity and initiative is what we rarely see in the mainstream stories of "the prince saves the princess" and "the overbearing president bravely pursues love".
In addition, when telling the story, this work deliberately includes different races—whites, blacks, yellows; different classes—the rich who spend a lot of money, the middle class who have no worries about food and clothing, and the commoners who need to work; different sexual orientations— - Heterosexual, gay, bisexual. With the most obvious different eras, the story spans time and space and forms a historical chronology.
Marriage is not something that a person, a family, or a region needs to face. It runs through the development of the world and has different attitudes with the development of economy, politics and culture, but love, responsibility and self are changing marriages. Invariant proposition.
It's not as beautiful as we think, it's ordinary and unique, solemn and casual, private and public, it's just a choice in our lives. Maybe you picked the right one, or maybe you got the wrong one. Regardless of men and women, most of them are faced with insatiable anxiety and dissatisfaction - not so much to solve the problem of marriage, but to solve the problem of the self under the collision of different souls, bodies and identities.
This article is an original manuscript by new media women, please do not reprint without authorization
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