On a whim, rub a hot spot. Recently, the love song queen Liang Jingru got divorced. The voices on the Internet can be roughly divided into the following categories——
One is not worth it: all kinds of Liang Jingru's husband's net worth and income, plus there is a suspected cheating incident, the general idea is, look, married a wife who can make money and fame, why don't you know how to cherish it? Is that right? If Liu Luanxiong, who was rich than the rich, would not be cast aside for his almost public three wives and four concubines, no wonder the style of painting Cambie has changed now. All kinds of temperament kneeling and licking the new richest woman in Hong Kong. In fact, this kind of argument is nothing more than based on the traditional view of choosing a mate in which marriage is to live together and choose the best option in all aspects. On the surface, it seems that Liang Jingru is not worth it, and it is nothing more than marrying someone who is not rich. A handsome husband who ended up being cheated and divorced is not worth it.
One is to stop the loss in time, all kinds of poisonous chicken soup, simmering away from the man who doesn't love you, divorced, the next stop is true love, and dragged out Xiao Yaxuan to compare. In fact, it is nothing more than the fact that men have no good things. For such a derailed scumbag, isn't divorce the best ending? Stop the loss in time, or cultivate into a handsome young lady like Xiao Yaxuan, it seems that it is too cool to change small fresh meat every day. Or like the ageless goblins like Guan Zhilin, even at the age of grandma, at least they are surrounded by Uncle Qian. The question is, why expect marriage? It is said that a good marriage is about love to the depths, the love is hard to restrain, and both parties voluntarily go to the grave?
Of course, there are also all kinds of rude remarks. You can compare the reports of divorced actresses such as Ma Yili and Yang Mi. For example, after two months of divorce, she took a photo with a male star of the same group, and when she put her hand on her shoulder, someone jumped out immediately. Crying for the article, or complaining about Yang Mi's addiction to teasing Han, just talking about the chaos of private life, don't the dreams of the Canadian gun king and the 900 million girls always live at the top of the traffic?
It can be seen that whether it is to sympathize with a divorced actress, or to secretly say that there is a lot of right and wrong in front of a widow, there is nothing but to avoid the humiliation of slut women, or overdo it, and insist on learning from the so-called scumbags, pursuing superficial sensuality to reflect the independence of women. Even rich and famous female stars living in the upper class of mainstream values can't get around this.
What is the right way to approach marriage? Take a classic American drama "Desperate Housewives" to illustrate. Each housewife in the play represents a problem of women's survival in a marital state.
For example, most girls have been taught since childhood to be a good girl who is reserved and self-loving. After marriage, it is best to close the door of the hall and the kitchen, and not too bad on the bed. It's a pity that the most perfect housewife Brie, her husband not only has SM hobbies, but also calls prostitutes. The second boyfriend was psychopathic and poisoned her first husband. The second husband not only has a good personality, but also has a very harmonious sex life (the first time he went to bed, he let the reserved lady Brie experience the legendary xx, and exploded the half-mountain party in the barrage that could not be asked, haha) , this is just the plot of the second season I saw, the most despairing is a pair of children who are particularly white-eyed, the eldest son hates him to the bone, slept with the man she liked (guy's character), and fell into the streets to rely on Ducks make a living. The younger daughter eloped with her boyfriend to steal money and almost killed her mother, and then slept with the married history teacher. Maybe Brie's story is too bloody, the question is, do you think your noble lady husband will not cheat? Do you think that a good wife and good mother means a happy family, and that your husband and children love you? This theory of the screenwriter is the truth of marriage that many good girls hide behind in the real world?
Another example is the popular saying that if you want to become richer, better, and stronger girls, you will be happy. In "Desperate Housewives", Lynette is also such a strong woman. However, not only in the workplace, but her husband needs her to eat a whole plate of raw pork to save her. When she gets home, she is harassed by her ex-girlfriend who fell out of a one-night stand before marriage, and her scheming husband's illegitimate daughter needs to be dealt with. Isn't this the kind of pastoral feminist who turns over and sings? Although, for a long time, in a patriarchal society, women were almost in a state of oppression. However, the feminism we should pursue is definitely not to ride on a man to take revenge, but because it is precisely because we do not do what we want to others, we should be able to better appreciate the true equality between men and women. In "Desperate Housewives", many of the barrages about Lynette complained that her husband Tom was useless, or that she had four children and was trapped, or that even if she had an illegitimate daughter, she didn't rush to divorce to stop the loss. The question is, why does it have to be politically correct to have a husband who can earn a living better than you? What about the big woman? And as for having more children and being locked up, seeing her husband unemployed, and provoking illegitimate daughters because of absurd things before marriage, isn't this the kind of husband and wife who are originally from the same forest, and they fly separately when disaster strikes? I like Lynette's approach very much. If her husband can't make enough money, or his personality is immature, then whoever does it will do it. It's not that she cheated after marriage, and it's not intolerable for illegitimate daughters to do things before marriage. Among those who are full of complaints about Lynette's stupidity, they may never understand the truth that when they love someone, they actually love their shortcomings.
Of course, the most ridiculed Susan in the show is a middle-aged woman who has been in love with all kinds of handsome guys after her husband cheated and divorced. There are all kinds of green tea bitches in the barrage, and all kinds of sluts should not be humiliated too much. I think there are probably a lot of compatriots among them. This almost reflects the attitude of everyone towards divorced women in the real world. If a divorced woman wants to be recognized by the mainstream society, there is almost only one way, and that is to quickly find a reliable man to marry her. Or, if a woman is worried that she will seduce her husband, a man may see if he can get close to take advantage of it, and then secretly lock up and complain about her to his wife. nice one! ! ! The question is, after the divorce, I am still single. Is it wrong to fall in love with all kinds of people who have a good impression? Do I need to be struck by lightning? If it were a divorced man, what kind of public opinion would it be? Could it be that men envy his freedom and women find him infinitely attractive?
And the most interesting thing in the play is Gabriel. It stands to reason that such a character who cheated on the underage gardener because her husband was busy making money should be more criticized than Susan. However, the comment in the barrage is that everyone wants to be Gabriel. Because, she is beautiful (from a supermodel background) and has the means (to kill the mistress without blinking), her husband loves her infinitely and tolerantly, and Xiao Xianrou never forgets her. What more needs to be explained? Isn't this the idea of Xiao Yaxuan, the popular Bodhisattva Hsiao, when they find out that infatuation can't be exchanged for love, and when they become more and more independent financially, many people overcorrect and take on the mirror image of scumbags. Why don't we play the world together, okay?
The question is, what about love? Have we really evolved to the point where we don't need love, as said in "Sex and the City", and think romanticism is ridiculous? Or is it degenerated to only animal instincts, as long as we sink into pure sensuality?
In fairy tales, the perfect ending of love, the prince married the princess, and they lived happily ever after. Is this really just something to deceive children? Is marriage really just a form of stable sexual relations needed for social progress? Monogamy is really anti-humanity, will it be launched on the stage of history sooner or later?
I don't have an answer.
I just, when I reach middle age, I will still remember the first time I fell in love with a boy. Just a glance from a distance makes me feel that I have the happiness of the whole world, and the unexpected surprise of an ordinary life is that the scumbag I once thought , and many years later, I will remember the moonlight on the day of the first kiss, the way we walked on the snow. Is all this pointless?
And what is marriage? Most people have a sweet love period, and also have a unique wedding whether it is romantic or not perfect. They will experience the mixed feelings at the moment when the first child is born, and they will share all the life situations of poverty or illness. , will slowly remove the disguise in the day after day, and expose the most real or most of the less beautiful real self in front of a person.
Could it be that all of this is meaningless because of one sentence: I don't love it anymore, or the other party can't resist the ugly human nature of liking the new and disliking the old? When scolding scumbags and scumbags, ready to wave, stop losses in time to bid farewell to a failed marriage, isn't all this worth nostalgic?
A friend told me about her ex-boyfriend who cheated on her. After breaking up, she said Tianwen,
I may be scum, but we are together, aren't we happy?
When I heard this sentence back then, I would definitely scold the scumbag with my best friend. When I was four years old, I began to review my life, began to watch closely or experienced life, old age, sickness and death, I think, I understand this sentence .
His scum is true, and when he says he loves you, he is also sincere.
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