You are part of my being, part of myself. You are in every word I've read, in every landscape I've seen. In the river, in the sail, in the swamp, in the cloud, in the sun, in the dark, in the breeze, in the woods, in the sea, in the street...everything I know in my mind In an elegant phantom, you are all there. Until the last moment of my life, you had no choice but to exist as a part of my personality, to be the little remaining goodness in me, the little remaining evil in me, and die with me. - Dickens, Great Expectations
Why in our seemingly peaceful lives are sometimes very unsettled inside? Like Mrs. Wharton Robinson who often went for a walk by the sea. No matter who we are with, we are all alone, she said.
Why do people despise mistresses for cheating with men so much? Because we often use the name of love to escape moral condemnation. But does true love need moral condemnation? But after all, noble love is too rare. Everyone changes, and so does love. No one can love only one person in a lifetime, even if we want to, we can't. You can't master the changes of the world, and you can't resist the tricks of fate. We often say that we grow old together, and the sea is dead and the rocks are rotten is just a good wish. Figured this out, it seemed like a big change for me.
Nellie's mother said that sometimes, marriage is the most lonely place. When love disappears, the promise of marriage becomes a dead letter. We can't be sure when love will come, but there is no right or wrong when it comes to love, whether it is at the wrong time or at the right time. The only thing I can do, I think, is to let the end end and then start over. There is no choice without a price, and no love can give you absolute freedom. If you think about getting away with it, you'll end up suffering the consequences. To love or not to love cannot be forced, but we must be frank, and we must demand an equal relationship of love. This is the real morality.
Each person is incomparably mysterious and mysterious to others, and it is indeed wonderful to think about. In the crowd, how to judge the particularity of a person to you? When you see him, he also happens to see you. Nellie said to Dickens, do you like this life? Keep doing amazing things and keep getting noticed. She saw his loneliness and had a special dialogue. I love conversations like this, sharing secret conversations:
tell me a secret. Secrets that have never been told, or never thought to be told.
My middle name is Lawless. It's your turn to say.
Alan Lawley Stnam, that's my secret.
Nelly fell in love with a great man and became the lover of a great man, unable to have all his love. You have to learn to share him with others, even to be an invisible woman. Nelly's mother suggested to Dickens that my daughter's reputation should not be compromised. With Nelly's talent on the right track of belonging to a woman will at least get a stable home. She is not without questioning and resentment: Herald? You men, live a dashing life, but women have to keep waiting. You see freedom, but I don't.
The saddest episode for me is when the train that Dickens and Nelly were on crashed, and Dickens had to leave the injured Nelly behind and was called up to a makeshift rescue team. Because they don't have any relationship in name, they don't want others to know about their relationship. At that time, Nelly had just lost her child, 18 or 20? She is a woman no one else can see. Too young and too unbearable. why? You have no choice but to exist as part of my personality. This is the reason why she is the third, and nothing else.
What I remember most is Nellie standing by the sea and pouring out her heart in tears:
He knew he would leave first, he would die before me. I will not leave you alone, leaving you haggard alone. Charles understands that no matter how painful it is, we are all alone. No matter who we are with, we are all alone. He wrote an ending, and it was his first intuitive ending, a happy ending, where Pip and Estella weren't together, and Pip knew she would never be his. Later they asked him to revise, which some thought was too cruel, so Pip's last words were, I and she will never be parted. He made the ending dark, uncertain, and tangled. That's the world I've been living in, you know? I won't live like that anymore.
It's a sad story, it's a sad story. A love that was denied, a love that survived. Don't hide your heavy hearts with silence, there is no me without love. Remember, loving and being loved is the unavoidable nature of life.
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