Just finished watching a movie, the Spanish children's fantasy drama "A Monster Calls", which was released in 2017, was adapted from a novel of the same name.
I haven't heard or read the book, but the movie really moved me. I haven't felt this kind of silent tears for a long time, and there is a comfort of emotional release in my heart.
The story tells the life of a young boy named Connor, whose mother is very ill, and is dying despite chemotherapy intervention. A strong grandmother appeared in their lives one day, and their father who had left them for a few days also came back. On top of that, Connor met a terrifying monster in a dream, the monster wanted to tell him three stories, and asked Connor to tell it a fourth...
The synopsis may sound bland, but the plot is brilliant. The first time the monster appeared, I knew it was Connor's dream; but the second and third time it appeared, I realized that the so-called monster was actually Connor's inner "demon". It wasn't until at the end, when Connor went to seek comfort under the yew tree, that he knew that the monster was the sustenance and comfort in his heart.
However, the mother's childhood picture book presented at the end of the film gives another explanation. This monster may be the seed that mother has long buried in Connor's heart, and teach him to understand and accept at the right time.
This movie was recommended by the author when I was reading the article of the public account "Qing Ma Said", she commented in the article: "This is the best metaphor for life: seeing the subconscious in your heart that you dare not face, understanding life story, accept everything about yourself and live."
In the movie, I feel very moved, and the very clever design is to express the evil in the child's heart, the powerful anger and power that he cannot release, in the image of the monster visible to the audience;
At the same time, express the truth that you want to tell your children in the form of stories that they can accept and love;
Most importantly, in the face of the child's loneliness, anger, and power (destructive power), all of them calmly accepted it, giving him time to think and digest.
At the end of the movie, there is such a dialogue between Connor and the monster. You may not understand it, but I still want to write it down.
"Connor (K): I don't want to lose her!
Monster (M): This is the truth.
You just want the pain to end, your own pain, that's what everyone thinks.
K: I didn't mean to.
M: You did it intentionally and unintentionally. Because humans are complex animals.
You believe beautiful lies, but you are also clear about cruel truths. This is why lies exist.
It doesn't matter what you think, what matters is how you do it.
K: What should I do?
M: Tell the truth. "
In the midst of the shattering, Connor shouted out his true thoughts, and then fell asleep at the feet of the monster.
At night, my grandmother anxiously found him and took him to his mother's bed. The monster nudged him gently, and he walked to his mother, hugged her tightly, and said, "I don't want you to go."
I don't want you to go.
In a word, my tears came down.
The voiceover told me that this may have been an old Connor telling his grandson his own childhood story. Maybe every child needs to know how to control their emotions, how to accept everything around them, even the most painful things, learn to face the truth, open their hearts, accept fate, and grow up slowly.
The most touching thing about this movie is that it does not magnify the pain, but expresses it in a particularly forbidding way. Each of us knows that when our inner anger reaches its peak, we can lose control, and once the inner monster is out of control, regret and frustration will be more intense.
For the inner monster, the best way is not to overcome violence with violence, but to understand and accept it. Like the last thing the monster said to Connor - I'll be with you. The monster is me, and I am the monster, and when the two are one and coexist peacefully, the terrible monster is completely tamed. The essence of taming is to grow.
Another thing I learned about the movie is how valuable it is to have the courage to face the truth.
Connor murmured, "She kept telling me she'd be okay because that's what I wanted to hear."
Many times we believe a thing, not because the fact is so obvious, but we have been looking for clues for the answer, creating facts for the sake of believing. But as the monster said - humans are complex animals. We believe in beautiful lies, but we are also clear about cruel truths.
This way of believing lies and denying the truth will cause a tear in the heart, and people will be particularly uncomfortable when their knowledge and actions are inconsistent. Anger, fear, escape and outbursts come from this, because we always want to prove our conjectures in a stronger way, so we express them in a more intense way.
What we lack most is the courage to face it. We are not true warriors, unable to face the bleak life, let alone the dripping blood.
Kishimi Ichiro wrote in "The Courage to Be Hated": "Adler calls this attempt to set up various excuses to avoid life's problems as a "life lie." That is, for his current state, he transfers the responsibility to Others, avoid life issues by blaming others or circumstances."
Connor blamed his mother's inability to cure her illness, and the last drug used didn't work either, and the yew tree was lying to him. And we, in the vast sea of people, what excuses are we making for ourselves every day and every event?
Adler psychology said that all troubles come from interpersonal relationships, and the solution is to distinguish life issues. Take responsibility for yourself, and give back to others what others should bear. Don't run away, no matter how difficult the relationship is, you can't choose to run away, you must face it bravely.
For Connor, the hardest part was facing the farewell and separation from his mother. In the end, he accepted, accepted his mother's life lesson-letting go, accepted his own life lesson-accepting his mother's letting go. At this time, he also let go and let his mother leave.
In the voice-over at the end of the movie, in that old and calm voice, I was filled with emotion. When we looked back when we were gray-haired, would we all be so calm and calm? And many, many years before, when we were very young, it was really so difficult to face the truth and accept it!
Because I have also faced some things recently, I will be anxious, evasive and afraid, and I have gradually realized in a little tormented time how courageous it is to accept and face the truth.
Although the things I am facing now will be very simple in retrospect after a period of time or a few years, the courage in life requires such a little accumulation, and life requires such a little superposition.
I hope everyone can truly have something called courage.
I hope everyone is no longer afraid of monsters with powerful inner strength.
It is hoped that every monster will eventually turn into compassion and tenderness in people's hearts.
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