very apartment

[Matthew visits Luke at the shoe store to talk to him about the mysterious blonde Lisa]

Matthew: Hey. I gotta talk to you.

Luke: So, who is she?

Matthew: You wouldn't believe me.

Luke: I betcha I do. I probably even know her. What's her name?

Matthew: That's the thing.

Luke: You don't even know her name? Oh, man.

Matthew: I know that she's a dancer.

Luke: You mean, like a stripper?

Matthew: No, shithead. Like a real dancer.

Luke: Oh, God. I love a dancer's body. Ooh.

Matthew: But her face is like... Her eyes... And her skin is just... She just makes me all...

[Matthew taps his stomach smiling]

Luke: What is wha and duh? She just makes you more inarticulate than usual. You are obsessed, which I don't understand. I mean, I don't know how you decide on just one. I mean, my customer over there... She's got great legs. Ellie. All right? There is something hot about Ellie. The blonde at the window. I mean, come on.

[Luke points to the blonde Lisa outside the store window not knowing it's the same girl Matthew was just talking about, Matthew freezes and his eyes grow big]

Luke: What are you doing? Matty, are you all right?

[Matthew meets Lisa for the first time and attempts to try a shoe fitting for her]

Matthew: [Matthew clears his throat] Could I help you with anything?

Lisa: Yes. Those shoes in the window. The black ones with the red sole. I'd like to try them on, please.

Matthew: The blacks and reds. Okay. Well, I'll just go in the back and get them for you. That's where we keep them, in the back, so... I'll be right back.

Luke: Uh, Matty. Maybe you'd like to ask the lady what size shoe she wears.

Matthew: Right.

Lisa: 8 1/2.

Matthew: Like Fellini.

Lisa: Right.

Matthew: I mean his movie, not his shoe size. I don't know his shoe size, obviously.

[Matthew blushes as she stares at him]

Matthew: 8 1/2.

Matthew: [Matthew rushes into the back of the shoe store] Shit.

Luke: What was that?

Matthew: Fellini! What the hell was I thinking.

Luke: I have no idea. But you were right about one thing. God, she is beautiful. And you, my man, are an idiot. All right, look. Here's the thing, all right? You've obviously blown it, she obviously hates you. So you stay right here and let the man take a shot.

Matthew: Shut up. Give me the shoes.

Luke: All right. Go. Just remember... you're not funny.

Matthew: [Matthew gathers himself in deep breaths and walks back to Lisa] Here we go. Black and red.

[Matthew nervously slides one shoe onto Lisa's foot as she smiles down at him, then she looks at herself in the mirror]

Matthew: What do you think?

Lisa: They're too big.