James: One day I learned that silence is really noisy
Deafening
It’s hard to exclude emotions when there is no sound around you
They are all there
Alyssa: Sometimes I feel like I have to lie down
Because everything feels a bit too much
I look up at those blue or gray or black
Then I felt myself melted in
I felt free in an instant
I am a psychopath.
As Natsume Soseki wrote that I am a cat, and I don’t have a name, so sparse and common. It sounds like there is no more normal person in this world than a psychopath, because I am.
I finished watching "the end of the fucking world" in one night. It made me greedy like a cup of coffee just after twelve o'clock, because it kept me awake and always awake.
It seems that there has never been a thing that can describe contemporary young people with such precision, and there has never been a thing that can make us who pretend to be so cool, laughing and crying.
I wish I could not empathize with the emotions of the heroes and heroines, but the truth is, I can't know it better. Those densely interspersed inner monologues are like telling me about myself, resonating with people like us like a bullseye, and they are easy and effortless. Is it a "mourner" person? Not enough, far from enough to describe us. "Mourning" is a weak sense of frustration and loss of confidence. And we are decadent heroism, we are living with some kind of strong confidence.
I know what the world looks like at one or two in the morning. It's very quiet, and it has become extremely small, and it is only within the range of sight. Looking out from the balcony on the twelfth floor, those dark and bright ones. When everything was quiet around me, I realized that there were so many chaotic and sharp emotions jammed in the body, nowhere to escape, where are they all.
When all emotions reverberate in it. I just understood that sentence, silent silence is really noisy and deafening.
I think that kind of thing is called loneliness, it is the loneliness that comes from the bottom of my heart. Later I learned that it is not simple.
When I can't get along with this world that doesn't operate according to my own will, it means I can't live in peace.
It is a sense of despair, it is suspended in mid-air, and has lost contact and support with everything except myself.
I thought it was a disease, the word "depression" that came out of someone else's mouth. But I don't even know where the mental health center is.
We are just normal people with the smallest common divisor.
We just perceive individual differences earlier than most people. In some dark nights, I felt that I was gradually being swallowed by the surrounding nothingness, and blended in without any violation. Take a step forward, take a step, and feel real freedom at that moment. When I had this idea, I was eager and terrified of the balcony on the twelfth floor.
James: I just turned 18
I think i get it
What people mean to each other
When you understand the true meaning of loneliness, you may no longer feel lonely.
I often stand on the balcony at night, holding coffee. Like a devout believer holding the "Bible" in prayer, the surface is extremely calm, but his heart is full of strong appeals. At that time, I looked at the street lights standing on the East China Sea Bridge. It's very lively over there, but it's empty here. Don't have friends? No, it's just that they are too noisy. When I am also noisy, it will fit perfectly. Like two relatively stationary trains, they can go to the north and the south. Even if tomorrow, the weather is cold and the ground is freezing, Lu Yaoma will die. But one day, we will stop at different times. There is no "Kang Dang Kang Dang" sound. When everything is quiet around you, you understand that stopping is far more turbulent than jumping.
I understand that people will always be lonely individuals, and what people mean to each other is to perceive the former and desire not to be alone.
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