Oriental Baidu Tieba sticky slogan
In March 2011, in Los Angeles, the third class of company B of a certain unit of the Zenith Star Expeditionary Force stormed the West Los Angeles County Police Station.
As soon as a Zenith Star soldier opened the door, he was blown away by a grenade.
The second soldier rushed into the corridor without fear and was blown up again.
The third and fourth soldiers rushed in. The cunning American soldiers retreated and fired grenades. Two more men died.
Not far away, in the building. The Zenith Star Scout team observed the battle with a quadruple iris military telescope.
"Dazuo! Our equipment is not as good as the U.S. Army!" The scout grumbled and shouted at the mid-level officer with tentacles.
Giri Giri Ozuo touched his mustache with his tentacles, frowning without speaking.
"Your Excellency Dazuo! What about our army's long-range infrared detection system? What about the anti-infantry radar? What about the AT force field? Isn't this the standard configuration for individual soldiers?" There were several screams from the headset while talking, and there were several heroic heavens. The Topstar soldier died in the building.
Da Zuo gritted his teeth and said: "The Senate does not allocate military expenses, we have no money to buy it!"
A scout noticed that there were also US military scouts on the roof of the police station opposite, and he reported the situation to Da Zuo.
Da Zuo nodded: "We don't have an advantage in numbers, don't take the enemy. Everyone, use the telescope to check the nearby terrain, we can retreat!"
Several scouts raised the 4x iris telescope and looked around, one person said bitterly: "Lian There is no fucking terrain detection equipment! Previously, orbital warships provided data directly! Now it’s fine, I have to check Google Maps for reconnaissance plans!"
Da Zuo sighed and said leisurely: "I always opposed it at the beginning." Sanguang’s policy, it’s hard to come by now. You have to send a scout team upstairs to scout, and there is no one willing to lead the way... "
What about the money?" Where is the money used? Every Zenith Star warrior shouted in his heart.
General, general, why don't you fight for us? ! Every dead soul of the Zenith Star groaned in the air.
2. "I hope from the bottom of my heart that,,, a lot of this, I hope that a lot of this,,, can improve one's own level through hard work, attack the earth assiduously, alas,,, can improve one's combat level and hope that many battles can be achieved. Become a super official battle,,, tut,, besides the problem of equipment, this restricts our development,,, I think,,, now everyone generally reflects that,,, don’t say,,,, too much equipment That’s bad. The quality of the soldiers and the combat level of the casualty rate that came out of the official battle on Earth need to be improved."
—Major General
Zenith Star Calendar 143212, Senate, Before dispatching troops.
The questioning meeting on the dispatch of the Earth proposal is underway, and the expeditionary army commander General Cut the Chicken Cut the Chicken begins to ask the senior veterans:
"Dear veterans, 500 million soldiers in this expeditionary force are brave enough to advance, but with all due respect, the military expenses are low. It's pitiful."
The old guy on the stage was expressionless, like sleeping zombies.
General Cut Chicken Cut Chicken did not have an attack, and continued: "Take the landing unit as an example. The standard configuration of individual soldiers has always been a yardstick to measure the scale of the war. In the K3 Nebula battle, the landing unit was equipped with the'Ultimate Destroyer' suit, and the result was great. Complete victory; the encounter with the Trisolaran fleet in the outer spiral arm, the'Chaos Demon' individual suit, our army narrowly won; the Martian annihilation battle, the'Predator' suit, the result was not satisfactory. This time—"The general pointed to the air. The holographic image that stopped spinning, "It's actually the simple version of the Predator suit!"
A veteran slowly said: "I think there is nothing wrong with the simple version, how simple."
"We don't have heavy weapons, the veteran"
"It's not for you ." It’s equipped with an old man’s cart.” The
general almost vomited blood and tactfully corrected: “Old man, I don’t mean to offend, but the old man’s cart is a light weapon for individual soldiers...We need a giant permanent star mothership.”
“No money.”
"Then... can you provide us with several heavy star cruisers? Can provide artillery support in outer orbit."
"Can't afford it."
"Uh, can you provide some light starships? Although the fire armor is weak, it still works. Dealing with the people of the earth."
"No money. Didn't you give you a batch of meteorites?"
"But, veteran, you know, those meteorites are too uncomfortable. Hard landing at full speed is a torture for the soldiers..."
" No money." The veteran still has these two words.
General Cut the Chicken Cut the Chicken finally broke out. He roared hysterically: "What kind of predator simple version! I think it is the predator poor version!!! There is not even a heavy weapon!!!" The
secretary-general pointed out sternly. To him: "General, pay attention to your words!" The
general slapped the table, and continued to roar: "Words, your sister!!! I fucking we are the invading army!!! Going to the vast ocean that is about to fall into the People's War Ah!!! Weapons are not as powerful as the natives! Are there any!!! Although there are 500 million people in the expeditionary army! We belong to a small group of philosophically qualitatively!!! Are there reactionaries with ulterior motives!!! to such equipment !!! this equipment in case of defeat even the chance to rein in not only ah !!! farther and farther down the wrong path ah !!! "
general emotional, busy divvying up of the military police He held it down. The elders whispered to each other with a shit expression on their faces. The senior veteran said: "General, we understand your difficulties. But now we are really poor, and heavy weapons are definitely not good. Let's try our best to satisfy you in individual equipment. What do you want?" The
general saw the opportunity, and he sighed. Make a list: "If you are equipped with individual soldiers, the firepower will need to be strengthened. Each soldier needs to be equipped with individual missiles, dead light guns, AT force fields, nano repair robots, and anti-matter bullets; each team needs at least one anti-gravity bullet. Vehicles, equipped with S2 power mechanism; at least five fighters in each squad need light particles, each battalion needs light tomb generators, and division-level units need two-phase foils!" The
veterans discussed nervously for a while, and then The elder said: "No money..."
The general is about to jump up: "It's necessary! The combat team doesn't even have a missile engineer!" The
veterans looked at each other: "After discussion, the veterans will allocate funds to you for individual missiles." The
general could not hide his disappointment: " Equipped with missiles? That's more. Each soldier has more."
"Only one."
"An engineer has only one missile?! It's better to use the launcher at once!!
" No, it is the entire expeditionary force."
"..."
In the chaos, the general was dragged out of the meeting place by the military police.
3. "Don't pick up items discarded by human soldiers at will. Be sure to implement it."
-"Base Camp Order and Emergency Calls"
March 2011, Los Angeles, Zenith Star Expeditionary Force Base Camp.
After listening to the real situation, the staff and generals were in awe of General Jiujiujiuji.
"It turns out that you won the missile for us..." the Chief of Staff murmured.
"The Senate is so fucking deducted!" a guard said angrily.
The general patted the guard on the shoulder: "It can't be said that complaining is completely useless, such as this meteorite. I complained to them that a hard landing at full speed is too torturous--" The general said, raising his hand to the sky, and saw a meteorite stroke. After that, a puff of black smoke was expelled, forming a slowly expanding smoke ring, like a human sphincter. The meteorite passed through the center of the sphincter with its long black tail and fell into the sea. "They gave this thing to help us slow down when we land. It's better than nothing."
"What is this thing?" the soldier asked, looking at the sphincter that kept popping in the sky.
"Chrysanthemum burst reducer." The general looked up at the sky, with a hint of sadness in his tone.
"General, good news, we have deciphered the US military communications!" A staff officer rushed in with a piece of paper.
The general was shocked: "Oh? Good! Nian Nian!"
"This is the US military communication intercepted half an hour ago:'The enemy has no air power, so our army should seize air superiority and use B52 bombers to carpet West Los Angeles...'"
"Fuck, I forgot!" General Chicken slapped his head, "We have an air force! Quickly release it!"
Fourth, "Paralysis, let us learn English to lead the way, but now it has passed the sixth level, but the damn aliens don't speak English! "
—The mob who chased Yu Minhong downstairs at the New Oriental headquarters.
In March 2011, Los Angeles, a certain military operation command center of the Zenith Star Expeditionary Army, the battle situation was not good, but there was a lot of laughter in the command center.
"What is this?" Sergeant Bilibili walked in, and his face became pig liver-colored when he saw the monitor.
I saw two videos playing on the split-screen display at the same time. On the left, a drone was walking through a group of cars, stopping from time to time and turning on the lights to shine. A cunning American soldier hidden near the gas station dropped the walkie-talkie. , The drone rushed into the gas station and was knocked down by a grenade. The screen on the right shows a dog walking through the crowd. From time to time, I stopped to hear and hear the west. A human looking like the owner threw a tennis ball out, and the dog rushed out and bit the tennis ball. .
Everyone was too scared to say a word. A combat analyst turned off the screen and stammered: "I, we are just conducting a comparative analysis of battlefield bionics..."
5. "March 2011, Los Angeles, US military campaign A major turning point occurred and a command center was destroyed. In July, most of the country was regained. In December, the highest commander of the Zenith Stars was captured, General Cut Chicken and Chicken. Two months before this, under the leadership of the Party Central Committee, our country has achieved more enemies than the United States, faster counterattack than the United States, better social recovery than the United States, and fewer casualties than the United States. This goal has completely won the great victory against the invasion of the Zenith Stars."
-"People's Day Leopard"
Classification: Classified
Trial: The Earth vs. General Gejigeji
Date: Feb. 8, 2012
Authority: Global Court Martial, the United Nations
Locality: New York, the United States of America
RE: Interrogation record of the Chief Justice against the war criminal , General Gejigeji ( Excerpt)
Q: "Why should the command center be hidden underground? Isn’t it good to fly in orbit?"
Answer: "Can't afford an engine, so the command center won’t move."
Q: "When the command center escaped during the First World War in Los Angeles, the video was recorded. It shows that there are drones chanting and pulling fibers?”
Answer: “I can’t afford a transport plane, so I used the drone to pull the command center”
asked: “But only three drones were pulling, what were the other planes doing at the time? Mission?"
Answer: "No, the drones can't be bought, so there are only three."
Q: "When the US military's missile attack, there is a plane to hit the missile. Is it because it can't afford anti-missile weapons?"
Answer: (Long sigh)
Ask: "You are so poor, so come to colonize the
earth " Answer: "We are actually here to grab salt"
Question: "... Huh ?"
Answer: "The salt in the sea is rich, we are plundering Under the guise of water resources, salt is secretly extracted from seawater."
Q: "Why do you want so much salt?"
Answer: "I was going to sell it to the Chinese for huge profits..."
(The Chinese representative was emotional and claimed that it was naked Slandered and framed, and then exited the scene to protest)
6. "In 2011, I was forced to enter the United States.
First opened the Peanut Village,
and then entered San Francisco. It
turned the sky upside down. Hey, the
Marines used their artillery to expand their artillery, and when they were
forced to do so, they pulled the bolts,
planes and missiles, and
blasted a cart to death. the old man,
his eyes over the pages on the west Yeah hey hey Yo ...... "
- American nursery rhyme" Marines enlarge gun "
in March 2012, a bar, a member of the US team Los Angeles foxtrot party, get drunk.
" It really seems to be a dream! "
Staff sergeant, remember the second time we were raided on the street?" "
" Of course I remember! A missile flew from the spur and exploded on the side! "
I didn't see where the missile came from!" "
Everyone agreed, saying that the aliens' military literacy is still very good.
"However, I always have a question."
"Huh? "
You said, why didn't you see aliens launching missiles again?" "
" Ah ...... "
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