Children are an inheritance from the LORD, and a womb is a reward from him.
—Bible Psalm 127:3
There are three kinds of unfilial piety, no descendant is the greatest.
- Mencius
Whether it is Western Christianity or Eastern Confucianism, the concept of "bringing children" is different, and both advocate "nurturing the next generation" (continuous life). But in real life, with the change of the times and the increase of life pressure, people's concept of "birth" has changed. More and more young people choose to have children at a later age or be infertile (this trend is especially obvious in developed countries), at the same time, more and more middle-aged people (the once firm "DINK family") have fallen into the "want" child, difficult to conceive" embarrassing situation.
Today, through the movie "Private Life", the author will share with you some of my personal thoughts on "birth".
American movie "Private Life"
Type of work: Drama
Main cast: Kathryn Hahn, Paul Giamatti
Story overview: The "infertile" couple's journey to seek a child
Release Date: October 5, 2018 in the UK
Excellent works, full of the breath of life (there are laughter, sadness, release, and depression, this is the portrayal of real life), discuss the topic of "infertility" (want to have children, but can't give birth, what should I do? ?). The film is partly based on the real experience of director and screenwriter Tamara Jenkins, so it is very convincing and infectious. Next, let's walk into the film and talk about "birth".
The couple (rachel, richard) in the film are a couple who want to have children, but are unable to have children, because the man has insufficient sperm motility (sperm scarcity). Due to their age, the two have an increasing desire for a child. In order to achieve their desire, they began to try medical treatments, artificial insemination, and IVF.
The development of the plot here leads to three thinking points (detailed below)
①Why do you want to have children?
a, it is human nature
(The nature of all mammals) has not changed since ancient times.
b, to promote human development
The most intuitive value of human reproduction is "promoting the development of human society", including: the improvement of civilization, the improvement of scientific and technological innovation, the evolution of ideology...
c, emotional support
Family affection is one of the three major human emotions (family affection, friendship, and love). (Irreplaceable)
②The impact of infertility on life?
a. Historically, people who are infertile are often not welcomed. Although the times are different now (progress), those deep-rooted traditional concepts have still not changed (sorrow of the times).
b. From a male perspective, most men cannot accept the fact that their wives cannot get pregnant. This is normal thinking (excluding a small number of particularly enlightened men) and understandable. On the contrary, from the perspective of women, no matter which side the problem is, the wife always has to bear too much trouble and pressure (in rural areas, there are many such examples, so I won't list them one by one).
c, the old have nowhere to go. This problem is the biggest problem for infertility patients. What to do when you are older? What should I do if I can't walk? What if there is no one to take care of? The elderly without children under their knees always live in loneliness. Over time, they will feel world-weary physically and psychologically, and finally they will go to the road of "taking death". Everyone hopes to "have a beginning and an end", but such a "departure" is obviously not dignified.
③ Can medical means solve the dilemma of "prosperity"?
First of all, can only say "solve part of the problem". After all, the current level of science and technology is not enough to completely change the "sterility" problem, which requires the efforts of several generations of scientists and medical scientists to achieve, so "a long way to go".
Secondly, medical treatment will cause harm to women. The simplest way is to take injections and medicines, which can cause side effects to the body.
Finally, the uncertainty of medical means, that is, "risk", this will not be discussed in depth. Search the Internet and you will see it at a glance.
Keep going back to the film, watching and thinking.
With nothing to do, rachel and richard tried to find new solutions through the Internet, and "adoptation" came into their sight. Another thought has arisen.
The Pros and Cons of Adoption
Another topic worth pondering. Let’s talk about the advantages of “adoption” first.
a. You can get out of the quagmire of the "medical" process smoothly, and you will no longer be trapped in the dual depression of physical and psychological.
b. It can meet the needs of some people who are "eager to seek children".
Compared with the advantages, the disadvantages of the "adoption" program should not be underestimated.
a, the cost of money
This is a small problem. After all, those who choose the path of "adopting" are all rich people, and those who have no money can only endure it.
b, intimacy/belonging
The biggest difference between "adopted" and "natural" is "belonging". The biological child has an innate "intimacy" for the parents, but the "adopted" is completely different and takes a long time to cultivate, from "unfamiliar" to "recognition", from "recognition" to "familiarity", From "familiar" to "friendly", this process seems simple, but it is difficult to achieve (I believe that people who have adopted adoption experience should understand it).
c, root-seeking complex
This is another problem encountered after "adopting". Since they are not blood relatives, adopted children will one day embark on their own journey to find their roots. After this behavior occurs, it is easy to have two completely different consequences. One is to leave the country and never return; the other is to look at the biological parents and continue to stay behind the "adopted relatives". Although the results are completely different, but if you think about it carefully, the essence is the same, why do you say that? Because no matter whether the adopted person stays behind or not, his mind has changed, and it is said that "the body is in Caoying, and the heart is in Han".
After a brief analysis, continue to watch the video.
After chattering and busying, rachel and richard's lives seem to have not changed, artificial insemination is difficult to continue, adoption plans have failed again and again, and surrogacy operations have ended without a hitch. In the end, they can only return to the original origin, down-to-earth, waiting... ( The video ends here). Here are a few more points to consider.
① human powerlessness
In the universe and in the long river of history, human beings are so small, humble, powerless and weak. Even with the rapid development of science and technology, there are still many things that human beings are "out of their reach". The "fertility" problem is one of them. People have tried to use advanced scientific knowledge and excellent medical technology to completely solve this "stubborn disease", but what is the result? It is still difficult to achieve perfection. why is that? Human capacity is limited! (So don't be "arrogant")
②Son, do you want it or not?
After watching this work, I had a lot of thoughts, especially the topic of "children", which made me fall into deep thought. After pondering for a while, he suddenly woke up. Is this a question of "want" and "don't"? It's a question of "want" and "don't want"! how do I say this?
After marriage, having children and raising children is only natural, "you want" and "don't want", you have to "nurture" in the end . (so no ink)
However, if neither wants children, of course the decision cannot be "blind", but "thoughtful", then the nature is different . what for?
First of all, this decision will accompany both parties for a lifetime (not a moment), so be careful.
Secondly, this decision will change the living habits of both parties. Families with "children" and "childless" have completely different life patterns.
Finally, be sure to prepare in advance and make a plan, "When you are old and frail, what should you do?" Because there are no children, you have to rely on yourself when you are old. This is easier said than done.
To sum up, whether you want to have a child or not, you must consider it again and again and again and again.
③ A thorn in the flesh
"2 Corinthians" in the "Bible" has such a passage: lest I be too exalted because of the great revelation I have received, so a thorn has been added to my flesh...
Here, the author will not analyze the meaning of this article from the perspective of Christianity (too extensive and profound, it is difficult to describe in a few words), but from a practical point of view, I will briefly talk about it.
What is a "thorn in the flesh"?
In short, "the lingering disappointments in life". As the saying goes: Unsatisfactory things are often eight or nine, but they are indistinguishable from those who speak. These "unsatisfactory" are the thorns on everyone's body. In the film, rachel and richard's disappointment is "want to have children, but can't give birth", this thorn follows like a shadow, they tried various means, but the final result is the same (failed), in the end, they can only "accept" ".
How to face the "thorn in the flesh"?
For many, this is an unsolved problem. Perhaps the only choice is "patience", because "tribulation begets patience, patience begets sophistication, sophistication begets hope, and hope begets no shame!"
The book is not exhaustive, so I put it on hold.
Screenwriter ★★★★☆ ("New Yorker" new series, in the eyes, moved in the heart)
Director ★★★★★ (self-written and directed, integrates his own life into the language of the lens, the setting is very good, the effect is very clever)
Actor ★★★★★ (The rivalry of the two protagonists is so addicting, it is meaningless to be naked or not)
Plot ★★★★☆ (except the rhythm is slower, everything else is fine)
Visual effects ★★★★★ (camera language, use of long shots, color matching, excellent)
Sound effects ★★★★★ (in harmony with the picture, several episodes are quite suitable)
Recommendation ★★★★★ (works with great ideas and connotations, recommended for married families)
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