Woman : The illusion of effortlessness requires a great effort indeed.
Man : Time really can move in two directions. It doesn't matter to the universe anyway.
Man : It's good to be happy. But it's so fucking hard, you know.
Woman : Tell me, how old is umm... Sarah the Dancer.
Man : Oh, she's a... she's a college graduate.
Woman : Her age?
Man : She's a recent college graduate.
Woman : Yeah, like 21.
Man : 22.
[ Woman walks away. Man follows ]
Man : But she's 23 on August the 12th!
Woman : 23 on August the 12th... Well, that's a beautiful age.
Man : Why would you wanna know?
Woman : You know why I wanted to know.
Man : Maybe I do. Say it anyway.
Woman : I wanted to know because I wanted to know. I wanted know if you were flirting with me.
Man : What does Sarah's age have to do with it?
Woman : I am the same age as you, I think, and a man, my age, who prefers 23 on August the 12th might not flirt with someone who is... lets just say 15 years past 23 on August the 12th.
Man : You're 38 and you look it.
Woman : Fuck you.
Man : Right. And next year you're 39, and then 40. And after 40 you may as well die.
Woman : Thanks.
Man : If the cardiologist is, decides that you are too old and decrepit and ugly to be at all lovable, I am available to tolerate you in your golden years.
Woman : Thank you.
Woman : There are no happy endings in our future.
Man : Why did you come, really?
Woman : Do you want me to say I was hoping I'd see you?
Man : Yes - and I want you to mean it.
Woman : You're so romantic...
Man : By romantic, you mean old fashioned?
Woman : No, by romantic, I mean romantic.
Man : [ in bed, before they are about to have sex ] What are you thinking?
Woman : That it's probably a mistake.
Man : You don't have to do this.
Woman : As if the act in itself mattered.
[ ... ]
Woman : It's technicality. Don't you know what we're already done?
Man : What's it like being a doctor's wife?
Woman : A bit better than being a lawyer's wife. My first husband was a lawyer, so you see I have experienced both.
Man : And what's the difference?
Woman : The lawyer wore nicer suits.
Woman : You're just a dirty old pervert.
Man : Yes, I am. But I'm your dirty old pervert.
Man : If I told you I still loved you, that I always loved you, that I loved you to distraction, would you leave him?
Woman : No.
Man : What was your ex-husband like?
Woman : You know perfectly well what he was like.
Man : Mmhmm, refresh my memory.
Woman : No.
Man : Honestly I can't remember - the memory starts to go around forty, you know.
Woman : [ sigh ] He was red. He was kind of yellow - and black, and pink, and orange, and blue.
Man : What the fuck does that...
Woman : Magenta, purple, maybe a bit of maroon...
Man : Hey! What does that mean?
Woman : I don't know! It's what I see when I close my eyes.
Man : I thought married women aren't supposed to be Bridesmaids.
Woman : Who says?
Man : Bridesmaids are brides in training, they're like matrimonial interns.
Woman : Ah, it's just a small custom.
Man : Bridesmaids are supposed to be virgins.
Woman : Well, I don't see any virgins out there, did you?
Man : I didn't check.
Woman : I'm sorry. Come here. It was just something... it was just different. I didn't expect it. You used to be so thin. I mean you were insubstantial, really.
Man : God, the complements keep coming.
Woman : Yeah, but now... Now, you know what? Look at it this way. There's a grandness to you. Like, you know, the rings in a tree trunk asserting the passage of the time: Like "I have earned the right to fill up more space in the one universe."
Man : That's bullshit.
Woman : I tried.
[ first lines ]
Man : Wish me luck.
Man : [ on relationships ] In my opinion, when it gets too serious, it's over.
Woman : [ Man takes off his t-shirt ] Oh my god, you're fat.
[ Man puts his t-shirt back on ]
Man : I am not.
Woman : Yea, you are. You're far fatter than you're used to be.
Man : And you're far crueler than you used to be.
Woman : But sometimes, people who really love each other, well, they have an uncanny knack for making each other miserable.
[ Last lines ]
Man : It's good to be happy. But it's so fucking hard, you know.
Woman : Don't worry about him, he's just trying to get laid.
Woman : A woman never has a man's intense focus as much as she does before sex.
Woman : [ on phone ] I'm having, um, you know french fries, french onion soup and um, french toast I think and a pickle. Hm? Yeah, it's all very french except for the pickle.
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