The movie "Mystery Superstar" is about a complete tragedy.
Of course, what we see is an inspirational story: the protagonist, the little girl Yin Xia, likes to sing, but because of her father's obstruction, she can only film a video of herself playing and singing and uploading it to Youtube.
Unexpectedly, her natural voice became an instant hit on the Internet, and she was encouraged and blessed by the controversial musician played by Aamir Khan, so her life changed dramatically. In the end, she unexpectedly became famous, standing on the podium and singing for her mother.
But chasing a dream is just a shell, and it contains much more than a dream come true story.
It is about a girl who was arranged in an arranged marriage since she was a child and married an engineer husband who was highly educated but did not take her seriously. She was almost forced to abort when she was pregnant and found out that it was her daughter. In order to save the child, she had to run away from home and gave birth by herself. Down, however, in order to survive, she had to return to her husband and continue to endure his violent abuse.
Even the final female awakening scene is not as inspiring as it seems.
[Spoilers below]
Aamir Khan is known as "India's conscience". In "Mysterious Superstar", he also insisted on speaking up for women's rights, revealing controversial social issues such as arranged marriage, female infanticide, domestic violence, etc. Among them, Domestic violence is undoubtedly the issue that this film most wants to express to people.
The first appearance of mother Najima in the movie is the image of the eye socket injury . After she took off her sunglasses, she explained to her daughter with a smile that she "knocked accidentally", but the bruises and blood clots around her eyes told the audience that violence was a common meal in the family.
Husband Farouk can find a reason for beating his wife from anything. In fact, when anything can be a reason for his domestic violence, then domestic violence does not need any reason .
Najma's hand was interrupted because she forgot to boil the hot water;
Because the dinner was too bland, the husband overturned the plate directly on top of her;
Because I didn't pack my husband's luggage for a business trip, I was scolded for having garbage in my head;
After her husband found out that she had sold her necklace to buy a computer for her daughter, she was slapped to the ground by a slap in the face.
There is also a terrifying detail in this plot. Before Farooq was about to beat his mother, he hoped that his younger brother Gudu could avoid it, but he didn't care what Yin Xia, who was present, would see, and even thought that his daughter should stay and "get a good education" ", subconsciously he thought women should be beaten.
Farouk in the movie is completely comparable to "Childhood Shadow An Jiahe".
As a husband, he does not regard his wife as a human being, but only regards her as a reproductive machine and servant, as well as a sandbag for him to vent at any time. As a father, he doesn't care about his daughter's life at all, as long as she completes her studies and can add capital to her dowry.
In addition to the violence under anger, even in normal life, Farouk can't speak like a normal person.
As soon as he got home, because no one poured water for him in time, he said yin and yang, "I can't even drink a glass of water in this house!"
Farooq is the existence of low pressure in the family. From the appearance of her daughter Yin Xia who is about to be driven crazy but still enduring it, and the horrified expression of her son Gudu, it can be seen that this kind of depression will undoubtedly bring torture to every family member.
Father made everyone in the family live with trepidation.
But when Farouk left home to work, the family atmosphere was completely different.
There is a scene in the movie where Najima sends her husband away and immediately clenches her fist in secret joy after closing the door. It can be seen that Najima, who left her husband, is just an optimistic and lovely woman.
Najma and her children learned about the world through the computer network, and the whole family really came alive only when Farouk was absent.
However, under this kind of mental and physical torture, the audience must be the same as Yin Xia, who issued an "angry" rebuke: " Why don't you leave him!? "
From an outsider's standpoint, it's easy to judge victims as "hopelessly stupid," but everything they do is actually saying: I have to work hard to survive first.
In the film, through the narration of my aunt, we can indirectly know that mother Najima once "resisted" once.
After learning that she was carrying a baby girl, Farouk wanted to abort the baby, but Najma insisted on keeping her daughter.
For this reason, she even had to run away from home. After she gave birth to her daughter, she was forced to return to her husband under the pressure of survival.
It was precisely because Najma ran away from home that time that she realized and succumbed to the reality: she needed a husband, otherwise she would not be able to live.
So she endured violence and abuse, but worked hard to adjust her emotions, always showing her children an optimistic and cheerful side, and resisting all difficulties with her own strength, in order to maintain a pure land for her children to pursue their dreams.
As she said to her daughter: "You can ask me anything, but not life."
In the film, Yin Xia has been working hard to get her parents divorced. She found a divorce lawyer by asking musicians for help, but when she excitedly handed the divorce agreement to her mother, thinking that she could help her get out of the misery, she was reprimanded by her mother.
Najima said: "My father didn't ask me if I wanted to get married, and now my daughter doesn't ask me if I want a divorce. No one ever cared about my thoughts!"
She rejected the divorce agreement, and her daughter's reaction at that time was of course surprised and panicked. She couldn't understand why people who suffered domestic violence should take the initiative to stay in this environment and continue to suffer? But behind every action is its motive.
First, it is not easy for a person to leave the abuser when she believes there is a physical or psychological threat to her.
There are two such threats. One is a visible physical threat of violence; the other is an indirect intimidation: for example, you can never leave me, and there is no good end for those who leave me before. In the film, Farouk's intimidation of Najma was a violent beating + verbal threats.
Second, the abuser gives the victim some small favors from time to time.
Because victims are struggling to find all hope, these little favors can be anything. In an abusive relationship, if the abuser gives something even if it's a "pleasure", it will make people feel that "things may be about to turn around" and "it's not all bad."
Just like when Farouk is in a good mood, he will take his family to the movies and buy some candy for his family to eat. Most importantly, he is the only source of income for the family. Therefore, every time his attitude improved, he gave his wife an excuse to continue to endure.
Third, the victim is actively or passively (psychologically or physically) isolated from the outside world.
Victims often feel like they are walking on thin ice in a relationship.
Opinions from family and friends at this time will only lead to more abuse. So the victim will actively isolate himself, not so much that he is allying with the abuser, but that he is trying to isolate the sources that will make him suffer more abuse.
So when Najima learned that her daughter had made a divorce agreement for herself, her first reaction of resistance was very real. She was afraid that this agreement would bring more trouble and disaster.
Ultimately, the victim feels incapable of escaping the environment.
Just as Najma returned to Farouk after she ran away from home for the first time to give birth to her daughter. The film doesn't tell how she survived the months away from home, but it must have been tough. The reality told her that her own strength could not support her children.
In a relationship of control and being controlled, the effects are like a "pendulum," says a domestic violence counselor. Even if the victim has the opportunity to leave, the victim will feel fear, anger, even hatred, and then, they will start to feel guilty, ashamed, anxious... It is very easy to turn back to the hurt situation.
So Nagima "resigned". It's not that she doesn't want to escape from the clutches, but the whole society is a clutch. When she lost her husband, she had no ability to stand in the society and could not get any resources to support her.
When she was helpless and had nowhere to run, she could only endure the marriage arranged by her husband for her 14-year-old daughter, followed her husband to an unfamiliar country, and walked straight back to the life she described as purgatory. No return.
At the end of the film, Najma finally has the awakening of female consciousness.
After Farouk repeatedly abused his wife, threw away his daughter's computer, destroyed her guitar, and killed all her dreams, he forced his family to follow his job and move to Saudi Arabia.
When boarding the plane at the airport, Farouk wants Yin Shia to throw away her guitar because of the excess luggage, the only connection between her daughter and her dream.
At this time, Najima, who has been submissive, finally broke out, defied Farouk openly, and left her husband with her children.
She has always endured violence silently, just because her husband's financial support can allow her children to receive education, but just like Aamir Khan's talk show "Truth Interview", this woman who also endured domestic violence for the sake of her children As the lady said:
So, when Najma saw that her daughter was about to leave her dream permanently with her trip to Saudi Arabia, she couldn't take it any longer.
From the point of view of the film's telling, many people feel that this turn is a bit too dramatic. But in fact, from the details, we can see that this seemingly exciting turning point is actually full of helplessness and compromise to reality .
When Farouk threatened to beat her in public. Here's what Najma said to him:
" If you hit me now, it will be captured by surveillance cameras. I will ask the airport for a video, so that Yin Xia will post it on the video website. Your daughter's video has millions of views, and the whole world will see it. Don't even try to keep your job. "
In the end, under the situation of violent intimidation, Najima chose to use public opinion to threaten her husband instead of calling the police directly.
Because she also knew that it was useless to call the police.
On the one hand, the power of public opinion is indeed powerful. If Yin Xia posted the video of her father's violence against her mother on the Internet, it would definitely cause an uproar and even ruin Farouk's career and life.
Just like every time a domestic violence victim speaks out on Weibo, the public opinion is strong enough to humanize the perpetrator, making him a public enemy that everyone shouts and beats.
But not everyone has the channels and strength to turn to public opinion. There are more women who endure pain in silence, are injured in domestic violence, and even die.
In the "Truth Interview", many women said that domestic violence is too common in Indian society. A survey showed that 84% of women had experienced violence from their husband or in-laws at least once during their marriage.
Even in the most affluent and considered safest areas in India, the daily inquiries received by the hospital are rarely typhoid, tuberculosis, malaria, and more women who have suffered domestic violence: poisoned, broken bones, women covered in injuries them.
In ordinary cities, middle-class housewives like Najima's family, and women at the bottom in poorer areas, the violence they suffer is even more unimaginable.
In street interviews with men, most husbands can confidently say to the camera that they beat their wives, and even show it off as a status symbol.
Some people say that they beat their wives 1 or 2 times, but the time unit of calculation is each month.
Some people think that beating one's wife is justifiable and justified.
They can say so openly, precisely because there is no legal restraint and no public opinion can hurt them.
We can’t just educate women who have been abused and encourage them to stand up and speak up for themselves. Domestic violence is mostly a chronic illness caused by men, and what needs to be changed the most is the idea of patriarchy.
There are still many people who still feel in their hearts that if you haven't beaten anyone, you're not a man enough.
It’s not just women who have been victims of domestic violence who should think about who they want to be and what kind of life they want to live. But men (perpetrating domestic violence) have to think about what kind of husband and what kind of father they want to be.
So the birth of "Mysterious Superstar", you can say that it is the same routine and blood as always. However, it also hits the pain point of domestic violence in Indian society, and even globally, as always.
We still welcome this routine.
my country began to implement the "Anti-Domestic Violence Law" in March 2016. More and more people consciously resort to the law when they experience domestic violence or witness domestic violence. The strength and level of law enforcement will also become stronger and stronger under supervision. .
But for each of us, when you encounter your family or friends in such a worrying situation of domestic violence, there are actually a lot of efforts that can be done.
What can you do?
- Don't ask Ta from time to time, have you escaped the clutches recently? It is better to set a fixed time to call or meet, and only talk about cats and dogs. Your sole purpose is to let the victim know that you are here when they decide to ask for help.
- Often as a family, greetings on New Years and holidays. Let them know that family is there.
- Give the victim time and space. Let victims feel that no matter what decision they make, we stand by them. Don't make them feel like we abandoned him just because they didn't change right away.
- Don't hurt the abuser lightly. Harming the abuser will only add to the burden on the victim before the change has taken place (they may even feel that it was their own fault and that the abuser wouldn't have been hurt if they didn't complain to you!)
- Seek professional help. Always encourage Ta to seek professional psychological help.
Change is a process.
What we're trying to do is give the process space and time to start, and provide steady support. And when the process begins, like anything in this world, it will be full of twists and turns. Please hold and wait patiently.
Domestic violence is a bad thing, no matter how small, common or frequent the form is, it is still a bad thing.
We need to be aware of it all the time, pay attention to it, talk about it, resist it.
Psychological knowledge with temperature and attitude: pay attention to the public micro-signal "simple psychology"
Listen to psychology class/participate in psychology training camp: www.jiandanxinli.com/learns
Make an appointment for psychological consultation: jiandanxinli.com (or download the Simple Psychology APP)
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