Grandma was still as nice to me as always, pouring me tea and eating sesame pancakes. Say a lot of the same things you say every time you meet. What she said was so reasonable and sincere that I couldn't bear to listen to every word. Even if she doesn't remember the last meeting, even if it becomes a hopeless repetition. Sometimes, she would forget the days when she was with me when I was little, but she never forgot to give me the New Year's money on time.
I also feel that it's actually not a bad thing. The old man's mind must be very colorful, so beautiful that she can't tell what is real, all memories have been knocked down and reshaped, and become beautiful and peaceful, just like every warm winter morning, the sun shines through the windows into the old building. Inside, the old man holds a glass of water in his hand and looks at the sun spots on the ground.
Then take the subway to school.
The school is not the one I left when I left. When I went back, I had no psychological burden at all. After the world was turned upside down, everything was like an enlarged kindergarten. It's beautiful, but it has nothing to do with me.
I still get a feeling that I get irritated when I see the kids having a great time. I think it's because I'm jealous of the time they have.
After leaving school, walking on the street and smoking a cigarette, I looked in the direction of McDonald's, and suddenly I wanted to go to your school with you.
After nightfall, I took a bus that I used to take home, and crossed a memory line along the way. Passing by my elementary school, contains the whole world within the scope of my activities before the age of twelve. I was surprised to find that, unlike the Huangzhuang Drum Tower, which turned over so quickly and disappointingly, the area near my home had not changed at all. After I moved out, during the four years of college, everything seemed to be covered by a soap bubble with a radius of five kilometers. Every old shop, seemingly badly run restaurant and teahouse, stayed in an unbelievable stubbornness. There, it made me feel like time stopped and I felt like they were waiting for me.
As you told me, I actually came home looking for a shrub that would bear red, round, red bean-sized fruits in summer. When I got downstairs, the small garden where I saw it was supposed to be had been razed and re-bricked, and it looked very empty and clean. The few remaining trees stood there quietly, and the bushes had long since disappeared.
After sighing that nothing has changed for a long time, it is ironic to see such a situation.
Afterwards I wandered through the dark neighborhoods with disinterest, trying to recall every inch of what happened here, how they were.
Then suddenly I felt I'm over it.
Got a car and left.
In the car, I thought, I really said goodbye to them, and I would never meet them in my dreams.
Then I really don't know when to see you again.
These are just long journals written in my degenerate Chinese.
All that was recorded was an ordinary day in everyone's eyes.
But since I have written it, and I have promised to tell it to you, there is no harm in reading it.
It's such a beautiful day.
-2012.1
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