What Nick wants to get rid of the most is the shadow of his father, he doesn't want to be a fake writer who is crazy like his father, living in self-comfort and fantasy. When his girlfriend broke up, he called her "I am not my father". But there is always an inexplicable magic in blood relationship. Even if it has disappeared for 18 years, the only thing that will be maintained is the 100 or so letters that repeat the writer's ideals. Father and son still have many inherited similarities: love of writing, idealism, Sensitive and conceited, hovering at the boundary of sinking. When interviewing at the shelter, he even unconsciously blurted out his father's saying "We are here to help others".
Family love is the only emotion that cannot be selected in the world. It is randomly assigned and cannot be returned or exchanged. A good family love is an armor, a beacon, and a fertile soil for your growth, while a bad family love is a devil, a nightmare, and drags you along. The sinking drowning man. You can't break up with each other, you can't break up, and even if you don't interact with each other in old age, there is a risk of reuniting in the most unexpected situation. The same surname has already engraved an indelible mark, and a fate that cannot be escaped. He tried his best to draw a clear line with his father, because he saw all his weaknesses in his father, and his father's mirror-like existence was a kind of torture to him. One of the words I most agree with Crazy Old Flynn is when he explains why Nick's mother committed suicide, people kill themselves because they don't like themselves anymore, because they are selfhatred. I wonder if Nick would develop this self-loathing when confronting his father.
Most people watching this movie will be aroused by the sad feeling that the enthusiasm of the literary youth has finally turned into mediocrity, and the biggest feeling of me, a mediocre young man who has no passion and ambition, is this kind of "I don't want to be you, but I will become you in the end." "The father-son relationship. As a young literary man, my dad once wrote novels and named me a writer. He took me to learn piano, listen to European and American songs, watch movies and drive by car. He cultivated all my current interests for me and grew up by my side. He left me suddenly when I saw him as my goal in life, showing me the worst thing a cowardly man can do when I haven't established a perfect view of the world. So I swore I wouldn't be like him, but like Nick, I got into this vicious circle, and I found myself inheriting my dad's bad interests while he was cultivating his interests for me. Unrealistic, cowardly and irresponsible, unwilling to pay hedonism. So I hate him and I hate myself.
In the bright ending of the film, although Nick inevitably became "Flynn", he finally fulfilled his literary dream for his father. Even if he couldn't compare to Mark Twain, he could finally make their stories circulated in print. The screen resonates with us really little people. But in real life, there are rare moments when such a favorite twist and dream come true, we can only keep anesthetizing ourselves "I AM NOT MY FATHER" in the inevitable fatalism.
PS: Once again, I confess to Paul Dano, his temperament is poisonous, and it will be addicting to watch.
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